Slaves and Monsters
by SmurfsTasteGoodOnToast
Summary: Castiel is one of many slaves from a different planet. Angels, these slaves are called. When Meg inherits her father's angel, Castiel expects nothing to change, little does he know. But when a war breaks out between the two species, they're ripped away from each other just when she was getting him to be almost human, and maybe he was helping her with the same thing.
1. Her Lack of Wings

Castiel didn't really care about meeting his new owner. Crowley was dead and...He was as drugged on Phydus as usual. He just didn't really care about anything. Maybe it was the drug that made him care less about things but...Well he didn't care that he didn't care, so he didn't give it any thought. The girl walked in-she would have been a beautiful angel if it were not for her lack of wings-Castiel's own made him a valuable servant. Apparently the humans found them beautiful but her lack of wings made her ugly to him. Her face, however, was pretty enough and he found himself wondering what her first order would be. That was the only thing that mattered.

Meg looked over her new servant. He was beautiful as angels usually were, besides that dead look to their eyes. He looked strong too. He would be an excellent servant, she knew. Her father accepted nothing but the best. Those thoughts weren't her first instincts though, her first instincts were to grab his neck and not let go until he wouldn't breath ever again. "What's your name?" she asked instead.

He looked at her with dead, glazed over eyes. His intricate wings fluttered slightly as they pressed closer to his back. "My name is Castiel." He gave her a slight nod of his head and watched her carefully, trying to see through the haze of Phydus. It was lightening slightly as he hadn't had any for a while.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Meg." She held out her hand for him to kiss. When a human really wanted their servant to be humiliated and docile, sometimes they'd make them kiss their boot, but a kiss on the hand was from a gentleman to a lady. Equals only.

Castiel looked at her hand warily like he thought she might slap him with it. Something brighter flashed in his eyes. He took her hand but didn't kiss it, looking into her eyes instead. He looked very human except the black wings that pressed closely to his back. "Yes, very nice indeed." He didn't sound convinced but there was something sincere in his voice.

"You won't kiss my hand?" she raised an eyebrow. _You won't act as an equal? _

"I would not be so stupid as that, no. No matter what you do to my mind." He didn't trust humans and he knew that if he tried to act as an equal she would harm him in some way.

He was smarter than most on the Phydus, she observed. Which would have to go of course. She turned their hands slightly and kissed his, knowing this would be perceived as even more insane if someone else had seen, but she wanted to show him that the opportunity hadn't been a trick, not really. The little voice in her head continued wanting to strangle him for even daring to touch her, or even daring to be alive, but she shut it up as she tried to do most times.

He watched her carefully with dulled intelligence. "I see. That's quite a dangerous idea, Miss Masters."

"Why?" she challenged with a smirk.

"Because no one likes the truth." He didn't have a Phydusian accent and instead spoke perfect English in a deep tone. "And if it is the truth, which of course I would never believe," he still wasn't sure that she wasn't tricking him, "Why would you pretend for one second that we are equals?"

"Because I don't believe it's pretending," she answered with a nonchalant shrug. Or at least she didn't believe he was below any other human. Half of her believed herself above them all, the other half believed she was below them all, but the two halves had been warring it out for years, so she was use to paying them no mind.

"And I don't believe in hope," he told her. "I will do what you need me to, I will do it with all confidence that you are a good human," as if there were any, "but do not speak to me like I am human."

"How else could I speak to you then?" It was almost a challenge, like she was asking 'What are you? What do you see yourself as?' She was glad it seemed like he hadn't had a dose of Phydus in a while. That made for horrible conversation, and as eager as she was to get out of her father's house, that could wait a minute.

"Like exactly what I am." He looked at her with spite, and she was even more sure he hadn't had Phydus in almost too long. If he had his eyes would've keep that creepy, empty quality. "A disgraced servant."

"A servant, not an animal. Even servants use to be human." Not that she particularly cared for humans. Or animals. Or anything breathing. She wasn't too fond of plants either.

"Yes," he agreed "but I am anything but human. In Phydusian we have a word that means monster, can you guess what it is?"

"Human?" she guessed with a tone of irony.

He gave her a slight nod and turned his head, "Yes. So forgive me if I do not want to be your equal. Bring me house." So he thought himself above? Interesting.

"Bring you house? Huh?"

"I wanted to say bring me home but I don't believe it will ever be any sort of home to me. So house."

**A/N: Yay, new fic! Have I finished any of my other ones? Absolutely not, but I started to write this anyway. This is biased on an RP between myself and YouCallThatAKis5! And when I say 'biased on' I mean I took that RP and edited it into non-rp formatting. Hopefully because that doesn't take as long as writing chapters usually does this will be updated pretty regularly. I hope you all enjoyed the start and are interested enough to keep reading! Reviews are always nice too :)**


	2. The Drug That Slows Your Mind

When they arrived at the house Castiel looked at the smooth exterior. It was far more attractive than what he was used to, besides Crowley's. Difficult to clean, perhaps, but he thought that he might like it here a little more. Meg didn't seem abusive yet, but he'd never been with a human who wasn't somewhat abusive after they learned that he wouldn't fight back. "What is it that you wish me to do first?"

"What would you like to do?" she asked.

He blinked. Unfamiliar words in a strange language, he had to think about it for a moment. "I want to serve you."

"But if you _weren't_ a servant, what would you enjoy?"

"I don't know. I am a servant," he told her in monotone. There was none of the rebelliousness in him anymore. That part of him rarely came out even when he wasn't as doped up on Phydus as usual.

"Hmm..." she bit her lip in thought. "Why don't you settle in, and then I'll give you tasks tomorrow. I'll show you to your room."

"If that's what you want," he told her; watching her for any slight movement like she might suddenly turn and hit him.

She nodded and lead him inside. She lived alone in the big house, so she gave him the second best room (her having the master suite of course) but it was still nice and big, already decorated with blues and tan's. "You can decorate it however you want. It use to just be a guest room," she told him as she looked around. Not that she ever had guests, but he didn't need to know that.

His expression didn't change, but he was still highly surprised. "It's fine the way it is. Thank you."

"Alright. There's cable, the wifi password is 'laterhonuggets', all one word, in case the laptop on the desk isn't hooked up for some reason. Let me know if you need anything, and you can go anywhere in the house except my room which is the purple door down the hall," she told him.

Castiel looked at her in confusion. He'd used a computer when he'd typed out things for Crowley, but why would he need it now? "You want me to do something on the laptop?"

"If you want," she shrugged. "It's yours to do with as you want."

"But...What do you want me to do with it?" he asked, still highly confused as to why it was there.

She raised an eyebrow, slightly confused herself, "You've never used the internet before?" Was that even possible?

"Of course I've used the internet," he said with a nod.

"Let me rephrase, you've never used the internet for amusement, have you?"

He looked like she'd insulted his education. "I do nothing for my amusement."

"I didn't mean to offend you," she said apologetically.

"You're not offending me." He said offending like he was kind of confused at the word "I'm simply confused."

"What's confusing?" she asked, crossing her arms and leaning against the door frame.

Castiel was standing in the middle of the room looking back at her with a deer in the headlights expression. "I don't...I've never...Been told to find amusement. How do I do that?"

"Well...um..." How was she supposed to explain something like that? "You find something you enjoy and...do it?"

"What do I enjoy?" he asked her, tilting his head. He noticed that his Phydus was almost completely gone then. "I also need more Phydus." He'd been told to always tell his owners whether he wanted to or not, so he was used to it by now.

"You _want _the drug that slows your mind and makes you docile?"

He didn't answer. He didn't know _how_ to answer. Opinions were bad, he wasn't supposed to have them.

"Alright," Meg nodded. "How much do you usually take?" She figured she'd tamper him off it in a few days. That would be easier than cold turkey.

Castiel had almost hoped that she wouldn't make him take any but told her his usual prescription in as monotone a voice as he could force himself to use.

She went and got half of it, handing the pills and a glass of water to him which he took obediently and after a few minutes looked far more docile. "Now what is it that you needed?"

It annoyed her slightly that apparently he wasn't going to get over that. Hadn't she told him she'd give him a task _tomorrow_? It didn't surprise her though, that's what Angel's were trained for, to be servants. Though she always thought it was more like they were drugged into being slaves. "Can you cook?"

He nodded, like he would ever say no, "Of course. What is it that you want for me to prepare?"

She said the first thing that popped into her mind, "Pasta?" forming it more like a question instead of an order. It felt weird ordering someone to do something when they couldn't say no.

He nodded again like the good little robot he was. "Okay. That's very simple."

"And what do you want for dinner?"

"Leftovers," he told her, "whatever you don't eat I will." Very often he'd never had anything to eat but that was fine. He didn't really mind that either, he didn't mind anything.

Meg found that unacceptable. "No, make as much as you want for yourself as well."

"As you wish," he didn't seem either thankful or perturbed by it. With the Phydus coursing through him he didn't seem much of anything at all really.

About an hour later he knocked on her door with dinner. Meg slipped out, not letting him see inside. "Let's eat in the dinning room. Sorry to have you bring this all the way up here. I'll set the table while you make yourself a plate?"

"It's not a problem," he assured her, "this vessel is hardly weak. I can set the table as well."

"Well...thanks, I guess." She knew it was his job or whatever, but she still didn't like him doing _everything_. She wasn't helpless. But she supposed it was for the best for now to let him do a few little things. That 'what is it you need' constant questioning was stupidly annoying.

Castiel quickly set the table and put the pasta down on it. He sat down in one of the chairs, looking uncertain. No one was ever kind to an angel. He'd never been told to sit at the table with a human before. It was like the kiss on the hand, no human would ever treat an Angel as an equal. He couldn't help his observation that Meg Masters was a strainge creature indeed.

"Is something wrong?" she asked at his expression.

"No," he assured her, eating his food as formally as he could. "I hope it's alright."

Meg took her first bite. "Wholy crap!" she exclaimed, "What did you put in this?"

"It's pasta. The usual. I made sauce of garlic, sage, and tomatoes, and I added some onion to appeal to the flavor. Is it okay?"

"It's great. I'm not nearly this good of cook, I might just have to keep you around."

He didn't smile but nodded. "Thank you." This felt so odd to him. He'd never been asked to speak at a table before.

"So..." she said after a few minutes eating in silence. "I've never had an Angel before. You'll really do anything I ask?"

"Yes, anything. It's how I've been trained. If I don't do something, which had never happened, I am subject to punishment." He motioned to a still healing burn wound on his wrist. Just because he hadn't refused an order didn't mean he wasn't still punished at the master's will.

She shook her head, "That's horrible...Even ridiculous things? Like if I asked you to...chop off your own nose? Please don't by the way."

"Yes, you are my owner so your wishes are the only thing that's important."

"Even if I asked you to fuck me?" she teased, but then thought maybe that might not be the best idea. Did he know what teasing was?

"Even if you did that, yes. It's happened upon occasion," he answered placidly.

"That's...horrible," she shuddered, not even able to think of another word. "You should have choice."

"Of course not. I'm yours. You can do whatever you want with me." That was how it was. How it should be. What was wrong with that?

She shook her head, still trying to process. "Okay, this tampering off Phydus isn't working for me. No more Phydus. At all."

"If that's what you want," he told her with a nod.

She met his gaze dead on. "Is that what _you_ want?"

"It doesn't matter what I want," he said. "but...since you asked...It will be interesting to feel with a mind free of Phydus. I never have."

"It _always_ matters what you want. Unless you say you never want to make pasta again because that would just be mean to my taste buds," she half-grinned.

"I don't mind making pasta. Why would I? Though delicacies in Heaven are much different human food is good."

"What's Heaven food like? Ambrosia?"

"I do not know of that dish. But that's like asking what English food tastes like. There's different kinds."

"Oh...duh," she muttered.

"It is 11 o'clock. I feel like I should tell you this is when Crowley went to sleep. Will you do the same?"

"Nah, I'm more of a night owl myself. If you're tired though you can go to bed."

"I don't sleep," he informed her.

"Talk about a marathon night."

"I could run a marathon I suppose. I'm far more physically able than most humans," Castiel mused.

"No, that's an expression for having sex all night. Or at least that's what my friend Ruby calls it," Meg shrugged.

"Oh. We could do that too if you wanted."

"Don't tempt me," she laughed, "I'm trying _not_ to use the whole 'able to order you around' thing."

"It's what I do. Besides, sexual endeavors are rarely unpleasant." He said it in such a monotone voice that it sounded completely un-perverted.

She winked flirtily at him. "If you're still willing to once the Phydus is completely out of your system I'll take you up on that."

"I wonder how much Phydus changes people," he mused aloud. It didn't seem like she was going to mind if he spoke his thoughts.

"I guess we'll find out...Hmm...I wonder what would happen..." she bit her lip as she thought about it. It was only fair after all.

"If what?"

**A/N: I hope people find this as amusing as I do or no one will read because they think it's very boring...it's one or the other there's never an in between. And if you think Meg is acting too nice and it's OOC...hold your judgement until you find out the reason because there is one. Yay, hint at future plot point!**

**A huge thanks to my one Guest reviewer! And a thanks to maidenpool on tumblr who commented on the post about this story! **

**And if you want to see your name in chapter 3's A/N then you just need to let me know what you think of this chapter :) (And it'd be very appreciated anyway!)**

**Also: Bonus points if you know where "Phydus" comes from.**


	3. When We're Both Sober

Meg smirked and left the room for a minute. Coming back with a glass of water and a pill in hand. "If I were to take this."

"I don't think that would be healthy for you. They're designed for angels," Castiel advised.

"It's only fair," she shrugged. She'd always had a bit of a reckless streak in her, and if they were safe for a creature so close to human, well, she figured it was probably like how they tested medicines on animals. "If I start to die call 911." With that she downed the Phydus pill.

Cas sighed. That was not a good idea on her part. "Yes, okay, get some sleep."

There was a minute where nothing happened. But a warmth soon spread through her, drowning out an all too familiar coldness. She laughed and walked forward, stumbling just a little bit.. "You're cuuuuute."

"Through aesthetic observations I suppose this vessel is not unattractive."

She found she liked his voice. She liked everything about him at the moment, which was a stark contrast to wanting to constantly murder something. "You're voice makes my insides all gooey, Clarence."

That didn't sound pleasant. In fact, he thought it sounded downright painful. "That's probably not true. If it is you should seek medical help. Are you okay, Meg?"

"Great. It's the good kinda gooey," she laughed at his concerned expression.

That only confused him more. What had that pill _done_ to her? "Good kind of gooey? Okay, I'm taking you to bed."

"A bit forward there," she grinned drunkly. "I was hoping for that."

He picked her up and carried her through the house, to her room, bringing her to her bed. "Get some sleep?" He couldn't tell her, she was still the one in charge, but he really hoped she'd take the suggestion.

"That'ss-not what I had in mind though."

"Perhaps when we're both sober."

"What happen to the marathon night?" she giggled.

"You offered me a kindness I'll offer you one."

"I like you, Clarence. I hope you'll like it here," she yawned.

"We've only just met..." He sighed, "I'll watch over you. Sleep well."

"You're nice though. I can tell. I like you," Meg muttered as her eyes closed.

Nice? He'd never really thought of himself as kind. Or really thought of himself at all. He decided to let himself drift off until the morning; it wasn't like she'd given him any tasks to complete in the meanwhile.

Meg woke up with a heartbeat under her ear, and something soft wrapped around her and it disgusted her, having someone so close. Though if she ignored that, it wasn't necessarily uncomfortable either.

Cas hadn't really meant to do that but he didn't sleep very often and wasn't used to having to control himself. And...What was this? Thoughts? Clear thoughts? Emotions? He shot up, looking around with suddenly clear eyes.

"I was comfortable," Meg protested at the sudden movement. Well good freaking morning to you too…

_I was...comfortable. _Words suddenly held so much more meaning and her voice was so beautiful. A voice...Did voices usually vibrate so hard in his head? He stared at her with wide eyes.

She looked up at him with a slight smile, still lying back against the pillows. "Feeling better this morning?"

"I'm not sure better is the right word." Was his voice supposed to reverberate through his skull like this?

"Then what would you say is the 'right word', huh?"

"Confusing."

"Do you want a small dose of Phydus to help you transition? I was planning on tampering you off it," she offered.

"No," he shook his head, "I don't want it. This is just highly shocking for me." It had been so long since he'd been able to _think_ that he almost forgot he'd experienced it before.

She sat up and rubbed his back soothingly. "You'll get used to it," she assured.

Cas jumped at her touch a bit, and she quickly took it back. "That's...strange," he told her.

"Sorry."

He swallowed. "Don't be. I'm sorry; I'm not use to this."

"Don't apologize. You're fine, it's a big shock, I understand."

"Right...I'm sorry do you need anything?" he asked her.

"You wake up without Phydus and _that's_ what you ask?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," he agreed.

That seemed crazy to her. "But why?"

"Because that's what I'm here for, Meg. So do you need anything?"

Would he _ever_ stop asking her that? "Can I ask _you_ something?"

"You can ask me whatever you want. Or force me to ask you if you wanted."

"I won't _force_ you to do anything. I was just wondering if you remembered the one room I told you to never go into?" she raised an eyebrow with a slight smirk. She wouldn't punish him of course, but she found it interesting that he had disobeyed. He didn't seem like the type.

Cas froze. One room. Her room. "This one...I'm sorry. I'm very sorry..." He expected immediate punishment, tensing for what was surely to come.

Meg wanted to punish him. To rage and beat him for daring to defy her. For daring even to exist. Instead she reached out and ran her thumb over the back of his hand gently. "It's alright, you were just trying to help me."

That...wasn't what he'd expected. At all. She..._wasn't_ going to punish him? "I'm still deeply sorry."

She gave a small smile. "And to answer your question, unless you feel like making breakfast, no sweetie, I don't need anything right now."

"I can make breakfast. What do you want?"

"Whatever you want to make, and make sure you make enough for yourself again."

"But...I don't know how to choose something. Should I make what master Crowley always asked me to make?"

"Definitely not," she shook her head. The less reminders of her father, the better. "Pick whatever you like best, that's how you choose."

He didn't know what he liked best, so he decided just to change a few things on Crowley's menu. He didn't know what else to do; he'd never had to make decisions. Cas made eggs, bacon, cinnamon rolls, and toast by the time she came down.

"Wow, you must really like to cook," she said, picking up a piece of bacon and munching on it.

He shrugged, "I don't feel one way or another about it. Just like any of my jobs."

"You do know how to form opinions, right?" her tone was half teasing, but she really was starting to get slightly concerned.

"It's not something I've had to do very often," he admitted "when Crowley had two angels I talked to him quite often... I suppose that helped but he was blasphemous. Rebellious."

"In what way?" she asked, picking up a cinnamon roll.

"He escaped from Crowley. I don't know where he went, they increased my Phydus levels after that and the punishments were terrible," Cas answered.

"So...what's your planet like? Heaven, right?" she changed the subject away from punishments as she leaned on the counter enjoying her breakfast. She didn't want him to see her enjoying that topic.

"That is what it translates to in your language, yes. Though that might have been a joke since they call us Angels."

"Well can you blame them? The whole wings thing," she pointed out. "Yours are a pretty colour."

He looked to the side and stretched one of them out precariously. "They were thought to mean different things. Black was never a good sign and yet you humans find it beautiful."

"I like black," she shrugged. Remembering earlier she added, "And they're very soft too."

"I suppose they are," he shrugged, tucking his wing back in. "That was never particularly important in Heaven. Colour's what mattered. Colour told you about the personality of the angel; which was good. Supposedly your soul mate has the exact same colour, but I've never believed in superstition."

"What does black say about you?" she asked, casually.

He hesitated before answering. It was shameful really, but she had asked, so he couldn't deny his master. "It's a darkness. It means that there's something tainted about me. Impure."

"Impure how?" Meg raised an eyebrow.

"It can mean a multiple of things. I'm not sure what it is." His wings flicked impatiently.

"Like you said, just superstition. You couldn't be all that bad."

"Oh, it's not superstition," he shook his head, biting into a piece of toast and swallowing before continuing. "It's a projection of the soul."

Meg smirked to herself. How ironic. "If it makes you feel any better, if eyes did that I'm sure mine would be black too."

**A/N: Yay, chapter 3! I really hope this isn't boring you guys because I'm kind of afraid it is. Again, reason Meg is being so nice it will be explained. I hope you all are enjoying it so far, and an extra big thank you to my reviewer of chapter 2:**

**Qzil (I hope you continue to be excited for to see where this goes :D)**

**Maybe next chapter that could be review**_**ers**_**? Maybe you could help with that? *cough cough, hint hint* **


	4. Every Living Thing

"You're very kind. I somehow doubt that."

Meg shook her head in disbelief. She'd been called several things in her life, but none of them had ever been 'kind'. "You haven't seen me interact with other humans."

"You've already said that we're equals. Why would how you treat them be different than how you treat me?" his head tilted to the side in confusion.

"What do you know about how the angel's came to be enslaved?" she asked suddenly. He was going to find out eventually, she figured she might as well tell him herself. Maybe she could get him to understand it; though she wouldn't blame him if he reacted like everyone else did.

"What do you mean came to be enslaved?" Meg was a very confusing creature he thought, not for the first time, and he wondered what this had to do with their previous topic of conversation. "Oh... We wanted to help you; your world was chaotic. We didn't want to be enslaved."

Her lips quirked into a slight smirk, "I'd be surprised if you did. But for whatever reason, over 100 years ago, you came and we enslaved you. Do you know anything about that time period?"

"Meg, I was brought up here. I know no more than you do."

Meg shook her head, "No, you know less. That's why I'm going to teach you. Not even most humans know this, but back when you first came, most people wanted to live equally. It was a time period when slavery was considered very morally wrong."

Then…what had….huh? That didn't make any sense. "And then what?

"And then someone powerful decided that slavery was a great idea. The drugging didn't start with you all and the Phydus. Turns out people are quite fond of drinking water," she said bitterly sarcastic, "Put a chemical in it and no one even notices. It started with the first world countries, and then there was a movement to get 'clean' water to everyone on Earth. But what they didn't know was that there was also a chemical in it to make them grow to absolutely _hate_ Angels. The first world countries were already infected by it, but in about two months everyone on Earth was hit with it. That's when they found a way to drug you all. You wouldn't believe how difficult it was to find that out. But my father and uncles weren't very fond of the law either and taught me how to…study."

He didn't care much as to how she knew, but rather what she knew. "A drug that affects the brain? That's…dangerous..."

"Not just theirs, all their children too. It's genetically encoded for humans to despise you, to think you're less than them, that you deserve to be enslaved."

"It shouldn't be hard to fix in that case... Genetic mods... So why don't you?"

"Because no one knows about it. Really think people would be too happy if they knew about mass mind control? Nah, they never let it out. Besides, over time things evolve. Over a few generations and once in a while it's not just Angels that someone hates," her pupils suddenly seemed to extend out, covering her entire eyes in black, "but an innate hatred for every living thing besides themselves."

He frowned, "Then why don't you hate me?"

"Oh, I do. Even being around you makes me sick. But don't take that personally, being around anything living makes me sick. Because I hate everyone I can see when someone or a group is being treated unfairly. It makes me _happy_."

"That doesn't make sense. If you really hated me you wouldn't be treating me so kindly."

"I treat you like I do because I'm trying to get over it. I figure if I treat you like I don't hate you, maybe eventually I won't. I don't really have another guinea pig to test the theory on."

"But why an Angel? Wouldn't you rather have a friend of your own kind?" he asked.

"If there's one thing I hate more than living creatures, it's living creatures that screw me over. Humans that hated Angels without being drugged did this to me, so I'm being nice to an Angel as my way of giving them the finger."

"That…makes sense I guess. But...I might know how I fix this. Not me, but I might know someone who could help you. Probably."

"No one could help me, I'm a freak. Besides, it's kind of a challenge, I guess. If I _can_ get over it then _I'm_ stronger than _it. _If someone helps me…I'm not weak, so I'm not going to act like it," she told him with determination.

"If you can fight it, then everyone else can too. There's no excuse for this."

"They don't realize it's happening though; that's the problem. _I_ didn't realize it for a long time and...that's not a good story.

"Alright," he said begrudgingly. Cas knew not to push her any further, no matter how much he wanted to learn everything he could from her. "Would you like me to do anything else for you?"

Her first thought was to tell him, _No, for the hundredth time. I'm not going to order you around. _But instead she nodded, "Yes. Form an opinion. I don't care what, just form an opinion of your own."

That...was a bit broad of a command. "About what?"

"Anything," she shrugged. "Anything at all."

He furrowed his eyebrows in thought, concentrating deeply. "I...don't like the color of your wallpaper."

Meg laughed. Well that was random, but she had said 'anything'. "Which room?"

"The one in your room," Cas answered. "It's a terrible shade of green, I don't like it."

"When we get married, and you sleep in there with me every night , I'll change it," she teased.

"It's impossible to get married to an angel," he stated.

"Yeah, and it probably should be impossible to marry a demon."

**A/N: I can't think of anything to say. Weird... **

**Anyway thanks tons and bunches to my AMAZINGTASTIC! reviewers:**

**Guest (I'm so glad because I intended to keep it up!)**

**summertime-nephilim (It makes me ecstatic that you think so! And I shall not tell one way or the other because SPOILERS!)**

**Qzil (I'm really happy you like the visible eyes thing and if you are this far down the page you probably know why :3 I laughed when I saw that because I knew this was coming. And yes, they are in the future.)**

**And to all the readers who didn't review: I STILL LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Yeah I say I can't think of anything to say and then write a long A/N still, I know. Anyway as always you know what that box at the bottom of the page is for, feel free to use it (please?) :D**


	5. Ugh, Hunters

"You're not a demon," Cas shook his head. "You think you are, maybe, but you're the only one who has been kind to me. To see through all of this."

"That's the name for people with...my condition. I could even get 'prescription drugs' for it, but all that is is legal pot," she rolled her eyes.

His eyes squinted a bit as he looked at her. "I don't think that pot would make you stop hating people."

"No, but it mellows you out. Most demons are either stoned all the time or are in mental institutions." She'd tried the first one, but she always desperately avoided the second. As Crowley always said, 'Once a demon goes in, they don't come out.' And she had no intention of living in a white padded room.

"There's one thing I've learned about humans."

"Which is?"

"You hate everything that isn't like you in one way or another."

The corners of her mouth twitched up. Even when he hadn't been able to think clearly for his entire life, her Angel was still a clever one. More clever than most humans actually. "I think you just summed up world history in one sentence."

"You and I, Meg, we're not like the others. It's us against the world. That's my opinion."

"I like your opinion," she smiled. He wouldn't know how weird it was that she liked _anything_ about someone.

"I don't think I like it much at all," he frowned. He would rather things not be a struggle, to mold well together. But he supposed that was the planet he lived on. He tried to remember if it was different back on his planet, Heaven, but he had been too young when he'd left to know. "That's all, then?"

She could see the gears turning in his mind, but decided whatever it was he was thinking probably was better left unsaid. "Yep. The rest of the day is yours."

"Mine to do what?" Cas had never had a day for himself before.

"Anything you want," she shrugged.

"What do I want?'

"That's for you to figure out. More things you'll have to form opinions on," she grinned.

"Okay...I'll...Go outside, I suppose. I needn't bother you."

"Alright. I think I'll just take a nap anyway," she told him, though that wasn't what she had in mind at all, but it would get him to leave her alone for a while.

Luckily he didn't question the fact that she'd just woken up; instead going outside, wings spread around him as he looked at the flowers, watching the bees fly around him. Their Earth was quite beautiful, he liked it. _Another opinion_, he thought to himself, _Meg would be proud._

Meanwhile, Meg went to her room and locked the door. She went and got another Phydus pill. She had actually started _liking_ things when she took it, and she craved that feeling again, for the hatred to be gone just for a little while. It was such a good feeling not to have that hole inside her. That urge to just _hurt_ anyone in anyway possible. She would never admit she needed help to get it gone long term, but just for a little while, just one more time...

Cas knew to keep an emotionless expression on his face while outside, and he figured that mixed with walking with purpose wouldn't raise question with any humans who saw him. Hopefully they would think he was just running errands for his master. He thought he remembered a forest looking area a few streets over from the drive over, and thought that was ideal for exploring without anyone seeing him. Now that he could actually _see_ things nature seemed even more beautiful.

It took him a while, but eventually he found it. The place wasn't as large as he'd hoped, just a strip of woods between neighborhoods, but it was still wide enough to be able to be in without being seen as long as he stayed close to the middle.

The sun beat down through the leaves so that they looked iridescent and an unnaturally bright green. Squirrels scurried around trees now and then, but there wasn't much wildlife (much to Cas' disappointment). However, he was fascinated when he came across a bee hive. He hadn't known what it was at first, but put it together as he saw the insects buzz in and out. Cas didn't know how long he watched it, never growing bored of the constant natural pattern they followed.

Why couldn't all societies work like that? The bees worked together, each pulling their share, knowing their job and doing it. There was no masters or servants, just every bee helping the colony. Why couldn't the rest of the Earth be a bee hive?

Cas was contemplating this when someone grabbed him roughly by the shoulder. He'd been so preoccupied by his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed. The hand spun him around roughly and he was suddenly looking at eyes as green as the leaves on the trees, but not nearly as inviting. He knew that look, he wasn't working, he should be punished...

Dean had been tracking an escaped Angel when he got the tip that someone had spotted one going into the woods by their house. He was disappointed it wasn't the brown and white speckled winged one he'd been hunting, but a rouge Angel was a rouge Angel either way. "Who do you belong to?" he demanded.

Cas narrowed his eyes. He didn't have to see the badge to know this man was a hunter of his kind. "Meg Masters. She's...She lives a few blocks over."

Dean instantly saw that this Angel was _not_ on Phydus. _Escaped_, he thought bitterly. What was with the recent spike? "Then what are you doing out here?"

Cas didn't think of how she might get in trouble, but instantly regretted it after saying, "She told me to do what I wanted to do. So I was watching the bees.''

"Liar," Dean spat, and Cas was relieved. "Take me to the house, now."

Anger shot through Cas. It was almost scary how strong the emotion seemed to him now. Even Meg who was his proper owner didn't order him around, yet this man dared to? "Be quite, human, your ignorance might be infectious.''

Dean punched him hard in the jaw. "If I didn't need you able to think in order to show me where you belong, I'd shoot you so full of Phydus you'd relax to death, so don't make me do something I want to," he threatened, malice in his eyes.

Cas put a hand to his cheekbone, looking up at Dean with purposefully empty eyes. He knew it probably wouldn't fool the man, but it was an easy role to slip into, and he hoped that was something the man _would_ believe. "Okay."

Meg still felt a bit fuzzy when she heard the door bell ring, but it had been long enough that the Phydus was mostly gone from her system. She almost cringed at the wave of despise that washed over her at the sight of Cas and the other man at her door, it was especially strong after the afternoon she'd just had. Luckily the last remaining tingles were still keeping her in a good mood and she didn't immediately act on the urge to get a knife and cut into the man's face. Not that she would have done that without the good mood. Probably. She'd turned over a new leaf after all. Or was trying to. Either way.

The man flashed his Hunter's badge at her as he asked, "Is this yours?"

_Ugh, Hunter. _"Yeah, just got him. Did he get out? I'll just have to," she flashed her black eyes, "fix that."

Normally Dean would lecture the woman about not being careful and checking regularly on her Angel's Phydus needs, but if there was one thing he hated more than Angels, it was Demons. _One in about every three hundred humans, _he remembered Sam telling him, _Too friggin' many is more like it_. Dean shoved the Angel into the house with a grunt of, "Good." He was just waiting for the day when he could hunt down the woman's kind too.

Cas walked back into the house and Meg shut the door behind him. He shouldn't have talked back, but he'd never done anything to that man, why did he have to be so cruel? Meg fought this. Couldn't _he_?

"Did the Hunter hurt you? I saw his badge number, I could report him for 'damaged property' if you want me to." Meg felt the same way about Hunters as Dean felt about Demons, more so than that same feeling she got towards other humans, and would have no problems getting one into trouble. Especially one that looked like he wanted to give her a little trouble himself.

"No, nothing much. Just this," Cas pointed to his jaw which he could feel already bruising. It would be gone by the next morning though, so he didn't want to cause Meg any more bother than necessary. "Apparently he didn't appreciate my loitering."

"He thought you had escaped. He's a Hunter which pretty much just means his great great great grandpa was injected with _extra_ hate juice somehow."

"That's no excuse. You were subjected to it too and you've yet to harm me." He didn't want to cause her bother, but he still wasn't fond of the idea of a fist happy man going after his brothers and sisters. Even if the majority of his actual family brothers and sisters were back home.

"Yeah, but I know why I want to. Knowledge is power." She was in no way trying to excuse what the man had done, but more talk herself out of going after him and carving his face out. That still seemed like a great option to her. _Once a Demon goes in, they don't come out, _Crowley's voice in her head reminded her.

_Except you_, she thought bitterly.

"I don't like the modification of our peoples."

"I don't either, but it's the world we live in," she sighed.

"I suppose so. Unless you send me back home."

**A/N: Yay, more non-dialogue this time! I know I have a problem with that, especially adapting this from an RP that's like 90% dialogue. Anyway, I hope that Meg's motivations for being nice are clearer after chapter 4, and it was fun to show that contrast with Dean of how most people think of the Angels. Though it was still kind of difficult to write Dean being so mean to Cas.**

**Anyway, enough of my rambling about my thoughts on my own writing (well like 60% my own, shout out again to Fire for being the other half of this RP!) AND SPEAKING OF SHOUT OUTS! A non-cannibal Wendigo size thank you to my lovely reviewers!**

**True Love's Kis5 (Okay 1, when did you change your name on here? And 2, the hells are you doing reviewing? You wrote like half of this? Eh, whatever, still love you for doing so!)**

**barjy02 (I really hope you continue to find it interesting and enjoy where it goes :)**

**Qzil (MWAHAHAHA! I was dying to post that plot twist so I'm super happy you liked it! And I agree, Megsnark is amazing! XD It's one of the reasons I enjoy writing her so much, and her character on SPN in general.)**

**And a possibly non-cannibal Wendigo size thank you to all the readers who didn't review! (Kidding...I'm kidding...mostly...) But yeah, it would be fantastic if you could leave your thoughts!**


	6. Adventure, Comedy, Mystery, or Horror

"I didn't know that was even possible."

"It is. It's where I assume all those 'escaped' Angels go, but I believe it's a recent development that we can get back."

She thought that over. That did explain why there was a spike in the need for Hunters. Hope was an odd thing, but it explained why Angels suddenly had the drive to fight the Phydus. That had always been a paradox, the Phydus took away the drive to fight the Phydus. It worked well. Until hope. "I don't want you to, but I won't stop you if you do go. Just let me know if you do?"

"I want to go back of course, but if you need me I'll stay."

"Just...until I can get over this deep hatred of you. No offence."

"It's fine. I can wait." He didn't even know what would happen if he did go back. It had been so long, he didn't even know what the place looked like. The place he was enslaved was engraved so deeply into his memory that he didn't even know what his home was like.

"Thank you," she smiled at him. "I may have just lucked out by getting you. It's like you were designed to be difficult to hate."

"Many people have," he pointed out. Like that Hunter for example.

"Because their DNA and socialization taught them to," she pointed out. That didn't mean they hated because of _him._

"So did yours," he countered.

"You keep saying that like I'm somehow better than them."

"Yes, because you fight it."

She didn't say anything for a few minutes. Fighting. No, this wasn't fighting. Meg knew what fighting really was. It was tearing into someone's skin for _fun_. It was letting people take bets on which Demon would come out of the arena alive just so you could have that high of feeling their life be taken by your own hands as slowly and painfully as you could possibly make it. The Pits of Hell, at least the place was named appropriately. Fighting. Fighting was having your own father do it to you. "Which is a recent thing. Who knows how long it will last?"

"Yes, but you try. I'll be fine if you stop trying too." He would go back to being a Phydus drone, not caring that he was such. He wouldn't care if he was 'fine' or not, which he figured was as close to 'fine' as he would be able to get, but that would be fine.

"No. I can't do that to you. I can't...I can't be that person anymore." The person that rips into Angels when the crowd demands entertainment and the main event with the other demon hasn't started yet. _That's what would happen to you, Clarence. _She found the name suited him. He was her angel after all.

"Which is my point."

"Why are you so sweet on me, Clarence?"

That was simple. "Because no one has ever been kind to me and I reflect what I see in you," he explained.

She looked away, she didn't want him to see the tears in her eyes. She was _not_ a crier. "I wish you would be mean, but I'm glad you're not."

He blinked. Something wasn't right. She wasn't acting like herself. "Are you..." he was about to say 'crying', but something told him that wouldn't be a good way to end that question, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she shook her head, forcing the tears back. Wow, that Phydus really did something to her system. Her emotions seemed stronger, more blurry, less coherent. But a pang of longing for another little green pill pierced through the haze. "I'm fine."

"Okay," he said slowly, though he didn't look convinced. "Thank you for dinner. Do you need anything before I go to sleep."

"It's early for that, want to watch a movie?" she asked. She didn't trust herself not to take more if he wasn't there, and she refused to accept that much help. She _would_ _not_ be constantly Phydusd all the time. It was a crutch, not a solution.

But, damn, she wanted it.

"A...movie?"

"Yeah...um," How was one supposed to explain what a movie was? It just...was a movie. "One really long episode of a TV show that doesn't have any more to it? Like...one whole season of a show in about two hours?"

"Oh, I think Crowley watched those sometimes. If so he never let me watch."

"Then it's time to change that," she grinned. "What are you in the mood for? Adventure, comedy, mystery, or horror?"

**A/N: It's shorter than usual, but I had an audition today so I didn't have as much time as usual, but still wanted to post something, so sorry about that. Well that was a run on sentence...Anyway hope you enjoyed and I'd really like to hear your thoughts about Meg's back story. Actually I'd really like to hear your thoughts about it in general. **

**Speaking of hearing peoples thoughts, thou must thanketh the lovely persons whom left their thoughts! (I went and saw Romeo and Juliet today okay, sorry for the bad Shakespearean): **

**Qzil (Bad spellers of the world...UNTIE! Yeah, about that angel...:)**

**barjy02 (Lovely to see you again! Yeah, it's a very fun dynamic to play with, and the Dean bit was especially fun to write, though I didn't think of the John thing at all you're right, Dean does remind me of him)**

**True Love's Kis5 (FINALLY YOU DIDN'T MIND OMNIPRESANT MWAHAHAHA!)**

**I can't think of a way to end this A/N. Romeo was hot and kinda looked like Gabriel. Potato.**


	7. Chapter Seven, Time For A Kitten!

Meg chose a comedy and they watched it together, lounging on the couch as if they'd done this a million times. Meg had her feet curled under her, leaning back, while Cas was leaning forward the majority of the time, elbow resting on his knee, and chin resting on his fist. Cas found it enjoyable, but had an important question. "How can it end there? The talking box should continue."

"Why?" she asked, genuinely interested in why he thought so.

"Because... They force you to become invested in the characters and then they leave their future to you. I don't want that, I want them to tell me what happens next."

"I've always thought there should have been a sequel too, but I guess it makes this movie more powerful that there wasn't. Anything could have happened the next day, so high schoolers can...I don't know, see what happens themselves? Or find a way to relate maybe?"

He sighed, "I wouldn't know. But I suppose it's a lesson that things that seem meaningful then fade into the years."

"Well, if you want to be a pessimist about it. Maybe we should have watched Legally Blonde, that movie told what happened to the characters."

He nodded. "Can one be _legally_ blonde? Interesting. I don't think I qualify."

Meg laughed, "We'll watch it tomorrow if you want."

"I'd prefer to do work. Watching someone else's life seems unproductive."

"Watching the bees is more productive?" she said ironically.

"Much. You can learn a lot about bees. Besides, you wanted me to waste time."

Meg raised an eyebrow, "You really enjoy working that much?"

"It is the point of my life," he nodded.

"No, it's not," she shook her head. "The point of your life isn't to serve others." That isn't the point of _anyone's_ life. The fact that he actually believed that, not because of Phydus, but because he had been told it so much he accepted it as the truth, was sickening to her. She hated mirrors.

"Yes. The point of my life is exactly that. And I don't want to change that unless you offer me another choice, of which the only one I would take is to go back home."

"That _will_ happen," she promised, sliding her hand into his and lacing their fingers. "I promise."

"And until then I want to work. You're being kind, but it's my purpose."

He was so odd. Been a slave all his life, and when he finally doesn't have to serve...he asks to. "I think I'm going to get you a puppy. And your job can be taking care of it."

"I like cats," he said out of the blue. "They're very kind. Rather snappish but kind."

"Alright, cat it is. Tomorrow we'll go to the pet store. Not like I have a bunch of socializing that needs to get done."

An actual animal of his own to take care of? He grinned, "Thank you, Meg. It will be a very well-cared for cat."

She grinned back at him. "And it's name can be _Cat_stiel!" she laughed. Wow, if she was making bad puns she really needed to get some sleep.

"I don't think that's a good name for a cat. Perhaps Samandriel," he mused instead.

"Sometimes it's best to find the right animal and then pick a name that suits it," Meg shrugged.

His face fell a bit. "Why? Don't you like Samandriel?"

She saw his disappointment and quickly tried to cover. "No, it's cute! I was just thinking out loud. Some names just fit some cats better than others."

"It means cat in Phydusian," Cas told her.

"Really?" she raised an eyebrow, getting the feeling he was teasing her.

"Yes," he said with a nod. "It would be like naming a human human. Ironic."

"Oh, cool. Meg means 'pearl'. Not sure if that really fits me though," she shrugged. She repositioned herself so she was facing him, her elbow resting on the back of the couch. Her instincts were telling her to shove him away from her. Why did he dare to be so close? She ignored it though, that voice was getting easier to ignore, which was a good sign.

"I see. I think it suits you. Castiel means to fall from Heaven."

"Now _that_ is really ironic," she scoffed.

"Not really. I haven't fallen from Heaven so much as I was taken from it."

"What happened?" she questioned.

"What usually happens when we make contact with a new planet is they send several of us to talk about terms and the like of how communication will run between the planets, but hardly any of the Angels that do that stay. We send a large group of very young Angels to be raised on the new planet in order to truly be a part of it. This way it is our home as well, so on Heaven they will protect and respect it as if it were their own. There's a few older Angels of course, to teach us about Heaven and all we can do, but it becomes our home. It's considered an honor to have a child go to a new planet, so my mother sent me. That was before we lost communication between the two worlds of course, so she still believed we'd have contact," he explained.

"But then the humans broke the contact and were able to easily enslave you since you were so young.

"No, they were prepared for us I assume. The second I got here is the second I took my first dose of Phydus."

"How many did they send? There are so many Angels here now..."

"Three hundred of us. I would think some were made to procreate once they were of age, and since we have such a long life span-"

"Would mean a rapidly growing population due to not having to replace whatever population would die," she cut him off.

"Exactly," he nodded.

"How long do you normally live?"

"On Heaven we can live for thousands of years, but on Earth it was believed about two hundred."

"I thought the planets were almost exactly alike though?" she squinted slightly in confusion. What would cause such a dramatic drop?

"We're not like humans though. Our life force is tied to our planet, that's why unlike humans we do so much to protect it. The further we are from Heaven, the shorter our lives."

"I'm sorry you were forced to come here." His own _mother_ had done it? What kind of mother would send her child to a far off planet because she could _skype_ him?

"Why?" his head tilted a bit, "You didn't do it."

"I can still be sorry it happened."

"Humans are so strange. You apologize for the strangest things," he shook his head, "but it's okay. I will retreat to my bed you appear to be drowsy and could use me not distracting you from going to sleep."

"It's fine, but you're right. Omelet's for breakfast? There's sausage and peppers in there I think."

"Of course. I will do that in the morning," he nodded.

"Night then." She stretched as she stood from the couch, hearing a couple joints pop. As she went to her room she pondered what it would be like to be able to get away from Earth. Go to a whole new planet where nothing was known about Demons and Angels.

In the morning by the time she was up he'd made omelets just like she'd asked. When she came down stairs her place was already set, and her breakfast was ready.

"Morning," she yawned as she sat.

"Good morning," he nodded back.

"I feel bad about asking for things from you, but then you're an amazing cook and it's hard to feel bad," she told him after taking a bite. Somehow he was able to make something as simple as an omelet taste amazing.

"I don't mind at all. And Meg, I've discovered how the Angel's are going back. It seems a teleport has been established, and word's been spreading," he pointed to the computer. "It seems like someone's found out a way to give a specific creature a message once they try to use any computer. One of my brother's sent me seven. He seems impatient."

"Well I think I've made a break through with the not hating you thing, so you should be able to in a few weeks," she smiled. So what if that 'breakthrough' was taking a Phydus? It was working, and she figured she'd tamper off and that would do it. She'd know how to like people and not need the help anymore.

He grinned back at her. After years stranded a few weeks more was nothing. And he wouldn't mind being around her for that long. She was kind and didn't demand anything of him. He had the feeling that if he'd told her yesterday that he hadn't wanted to cook breakfast this morning, she wouldn't have made him. A request, not a demand. It was an odd thing, but he kind of liked it. "Yes. Though...I will miss you, Meg."

"I think I'll just might miss you too." She hoped so. She'd never liked anyone enough to be able to miss them before, and was looking forward to seeing what the emotion felt like.

He frowned "I don't want this to be bitter-sweet. I'll tell them that not all humans are bad, I promise I will."

"And I'll buy angels and get them sent back. Or at least off Phydus. You'll be the first of many." Once she could like creatures she was sure that it would feel good to help them. For now it just felt good to continuously give the finger to the people who had poisoned her and caused everything all those years ago.

He smiled, "You truly are the diamond among humans."

"If you wanted me to I would rip your clothes of and let you have me on the couch right now."

"Why would I want that? You haven't asked me to do anything."

How could _anyone_ be so innocent? Especially someone who'd lived around her father. "I don't even know how to respond to that."

"I think sex must be a different ordeal to humans."

"What's it to Angels?" she asked, curious as to _why_ he was so innocent. Maybe she'd be less baffled by it.

"Procreation. But whenever Crowley would assign me to sleep with women, though they were the ones who asked it of me, they acted like it was for my pleasure somehow. It's nothing to angels, it's meant to be something pure that you only do with your soul mate, but not this."

"It's completely different to humans. First it is _very_ pleasurable. Some people think it's supposed to be with your soul mate, but some just like it for the fun of it. I'm in the second group. I don't like people, but I like what they can do for me," she explained. Her head was out of the usual morning fog by now, and she could feel that pang of longing for Phydus front and center in her mind again.

He nodded, "Yes, that didn't happen in Heaven."

"Any time you want me to change your opinion on it...let me know," she smirked. It felt like it was getting stronger by the _second_. She needed Phydus. Now.

"No thank you. I would prefer to meet my soul mate." Now that he actually had a chance. His head was still spinning from the possibility of going back to Heaven.

"Somehow I thought that's what you'd say," she laughed. She needed to go. Needed to be away from him. "Night," she said the first excuse that popped into her mind and practically ran up to her room.

"But...we just had breakfast? It's not...Alright...?" That was...very strange.

Meg hadn't even thought about what she'd said, it didn't matter. She was alone and the burning hole could be filled in a matter of seconds by one little pill. That was what mattered.

**A/N: Ah, Phydus. Since no one ever guessed, the chemical name came from Across the Universe by Beth Revis which is a FANTASTIC series that someone reading this story would probably like. So if you check it out and need someone to fangirl with send me a message because I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO FANGIRL ABOUT THOSE BOOKS OH MY CHUCK**

**And yes, I really did have to name the chapter that. Also, bonus points to anyone who can guess what movie they watched.**

**Anyway, a Godspeed (Across the Universe reference) size THANK YOU to my amazingtastic! reviewers who have stuck with this story so far!:**

**Qzil (I'm really happy you're liking their domestic-y stuff! I'm always if-y about putting this much in a story.)**

**barjy02 (It'll be great to have you along for the ride then!)**

**I'm kind of in shock that I actually got a chapter over 2000 words because I usually struggle so much with length (Seriously, I had a 23 word chapter once...) So personal celebration! And if you want to see more words of this story, then make sure I don't lose motivation by reviewing! **


	8. All Kinds of Trouble

Something wasn't right. His first instinct was not to pry, she was the master after all. But then he thought of how she didn't think of things like that. And something was wrong. "Meg?" he knocked on her door. He'd heard it slam less than five minutes ago.

Something told Meg that she probably shouldn't answer, but why wouldn't she? Why lock herself away from him when she didn't hate him? "Hey Clarence," she grinned as she answered the door.

He blinked, her whole demeanor had changed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm great! Absolutely fantastically wonderful!"

"How did you get drunk so quickly?"

"I'm not drunk, silly!" she laughed.

"Then what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I told you, I'm great! You're great too! _Everything's_ great!" She stepped back through her room, doing a little twirl with her arms out stretched like she was in Sound of Music. She liked that movie, she'd have to remember to watch it again soon.

"What chemicals are you taking?" he corrected.

"It's not a chemical, it was just Phydus," she shook her head like he was insane.

His eyes narrowed. He was...what emotion was this? Offended. That was the word that came to him. He was offended. "Why would you do that?" After everything that had gone on with his entire species she was taking it for _fun_?

"Because it makes everything to wonderful to hate," she grinned as she fell back onto her bed. "I don't hate like this!"

So not for _fun_ exactly, but that hardly made it better. She said she didn't want help, but for some reason this didn't count? No. He wouldn't let this go on. "I'm getting you help whether you want it or not."

She raised her head to look up at him. He was so silly! "Why? I don't need help anymore, I've got this."

"No you don't. You can't be high all of the time, it's not healthy. And it's disrespectful to my kind. We cannot be friends if you continue to do this." He could hardly stand to be around her at the moment. This wasn't even hatred and it still felt awful. If this was a fraction of what she felt towards him all the time then he couldn't understand why she wouldn't want help it making it go away.

Meg knew that tone well. The sharp, snapping tone she'd heard from herself so many times. The one she was _escaping_ right now. She didn't hate him now, but that had only made him hate her. She couldn't get away from it! "Now you hate me," she said softly, tears springing into her eyes. She'd ran from the hate and now he hated her for it. _No, no, no!_

"There's a difference between hate and anger. I'm angry with you, and I won't speak to you in this state." He shook his head and turned to walk away. Offended wasn't the right word anymore. It didn't make any logical sense to him, but betrayed was.

This was the first time he was around and she didn't want to do something to hurt him, he couldn't leave. She wanted to know what it was like to be around him and have a chance at caring for him. "Please don't leave me."

"I'm _not_ speaking to you like this," he said with a bit more force. "Goodbye."

She rolled over to where she was facing away from him and let the tears come out. This was why she hadn't wanted help, because what if everyone else hated who she was without it? What if she was still stuck having no one, except actually _wanting_ someone around?

Cas shut the door and went down the hall. His steps were almost silent as he moved quickly to get away from her. When he found a phone he dialed the last number his friend had given him before he'd escaped from Crowley. Cas hoped it was still valid.

"I told you I'd have your money _next_ week, Steve!" Ash answered the phone. His wings ruffled in annoyance.

Who? "No, it's Castiel... I was Crowley's angel with you..."

It took him a second, but once it clicked he grinned, wings settling back to normal. "Oh, okay, you're good. What's up?"

"I need to call in that favor now."

"Alright. What do ya need?"

"I have a friend," he explained the situation with as much detail as he could fit into a quick explanation while Ash listened with the occasional 'uh-huh'.

"So that's what Phydus does to Demons...interesting...But, why are you 'friends' with a Demon?"

"She's my new owner. She doesn't make me take Phydus; she's kind even with all that hate. It's amazing really." He realized that was why he was so upset she'd done this. She was so much better than it.

"That's against her nature, man. But sure, I can do it."

"Thank you. I appreciate it greatly."

"I'll be there first thing tomorrow." Which for Ash would probably mean around three in the afternoon.

"Uh, not that I'm not grateful, but would it be possible for you to come today?" He wanted to get Meg the help she needed as soon as possible.

"Can't. There's a hunter on my ass. Don't know how he picked up my trail. I'll lose 'im tonight. At his girlfriend's right now actually. She's helping me hide. Isn't _that_ ironic?"

"Yes, I guess so. Tomorrow it is then. Thank you, Ash."

"Not a problem."

Castiel hung up and started cleaning the house, anger hidden underneath the skin. He understood why she'd done it, but he was still mad. It was strange how emotions could mix so much. It calmed him slightly to be doing something so familiar, but it didn't do much to help with the hurricane.

A few hours later Meg came down stairs. "Hey," she said. "I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to see that."

He heard her coming, but didn't look up from where he was sweeping the floor. Why should she receive that respect? "You say that like it's supposed to make it better."

"I didn't really think you'd care as long as I stayed away from you like that," she tried to explain quickly.

"Yes. I find that very aggravating," Cas replied curtly.

His wording confused her. "That I did it or that I thought that?"

"That you did it. You were right."

"Right how?"

"Right that you should stay away from me like that. Stay away from me if you're even going to _do_ that." The anger had cooled, but it had flared up again the second he saw her. He was honest when he said he didn't hate her, but damn it. How could she do something like that?

Meg could practically see steam coming off him he was so angry. She hadn't thought of it as disrespectful to Angels. She'd only thought of it as something that was helping her, and she really, really didn't want to not do it anymore, but..."I won't do it anymore if it upsets you that much." She couldn't lose the only creature who could stand to be around her. Not yet. Not like this.

"You need help quite obviously. I called someone," he informed her with no emotion in his voice.

That might be even worse! She was _not_ weak. She could do this on her own. Without _help_. "No! I don't need help! I can handle this on my own!"

He raised an eyebrow, judgmentally looking down at her. "Like you have been?"

Damn it! She was a Demon filled with hatred, not a liar. She'd stick by her word. "No, I told you I wouldn't anymore and I _won't_."

"Then how are you going to fix it yourself?" the question was gentler. She had been kind, and he didn't want to go against her wishes, but it was more important that she got rid of this problem.

"I don't know yet, but I'll figure it out!"

He shook his head. "No, you won't. You're going to let me help you the only way I know how." He'd never told a master 'no' before. It was an odd feeling. Yes, she could just command him to not do this, but he smiled inside at the fact that that didn't appear to even cross her mind.

"Why? Why do you care so much about helping me?!" No one helped a Demon. Though she supposed no one helped an Angel either. They were quite the oddity, but it still didn't make sense. Yes, she'd helped him, but wasn't he Mr. I'll-Do-Anything-You-Ask? Why did he choose _now_ to be difficult?

Her question perplexed him, not the question itself, but why she didn't already know the answer. "You did the same thing for me. And you're my friend."

That took her back. "I've...never really had a friend before..." Not that she'd ever really wanted one, but it still felt peculiar. _Is this what friendship feels like? _

"So let me take care of you. Please."

He asked it so earnestly she didn't doubt for a moment that he was sincere. She hesitantly walked over to him and awkwardly put her arms around him. She'd had as much experience with hugging as she'd had with friendship. "Please, not like this Cas."

"It's the only way I know how," he sighed. "It'll be fine. And once you're fine I can be fine too." By leaving, he guessed. He would actually be going _home_ because of her. There was no way he could leave her like this.

"Go home," she told him as she pulled back from the hug, but still only a step away. "Tonight if you want. Forget about me and go home." She couldn't take help with this. Meg was stronger than it on her own. She needed to prove this. Needed to prove it to herself. She was not its puppet anymore, not because of anyone else's help, but because of _herself_. She'd started it and now she needed to finish it on her own.

Though she had to admit, having someone who wanted to take care of her, not because of Phydus, but because he just wanted to, was nice. A new addition to her life, but a nice one.

"You're my friend. I'll help you and then go home and cause all kinds of trouble," his lips quirked up into a half-grin.

Meg laughed, "I don't think you have a trouble causing bone in your body."

"Probably not," Cas nodded. "But my friend will be here tomorrow."

"Please don't."

"Meg. I'll let you go if you tell me another option."

She was getting desperate. Why didn't he understand how much it meant to her to do this _alone_? "Let me make my own choices like I've given you the freedom to?" _Please._

"But that won't help you. Give me an option that will help you just as much and I won't." Why didn't she understand how important it was for him to know she would be okay?

An idea struck her. It wasn't one that would solve the problem, but it might help a bit. She ran to the hall closet and found an old trench coat that would be baggy enough to hide his wings. Meg tossed it to him and grabbed his hand. "Come with me," she told him leading him out of the house and into the car. She took off down the street without explaining where she was going.

"Where are we going?" Cas questioned as he slid on the trench coat. It was a good trick, but why did she want him to appear human?

However, Meg didn't answer his question.

"I don't think this satisfies our terms," he tried again.

"It doesn't, but I made you a promise and I'm going to keep it."

"What promise?"

She didn't answer again, or at least not at first. It didn't take her long to get to the right building. "Guess," she said as she pulled into the pet store parking lot.

"Oh..." Cas paused, "you're diverting attention."

"I'm giving myself a little bit of time to think of something. Sue me. Now do you want a cat or not?"

**A/N: TrueLovesKis5 (apparently she changed her name on here without informing me, so that's the person who I did the RP with) and I have finished this in RP form and you guys are going to LOVE where it's going. I think so anyway. I love it. And I hope you're liking it so far as well!**

**Anyone have any ideas for a cover? I'd like to make one but I don't have a clue what to do...**

**Now as in all chapters, I must thank all my wonderful reviewers who always make my day!:**

**Guest (Correct! That is the movie they watched! What gave it away?)**

**Guest (I'm assuming this is a different person than ^, anyway I'm really glad you think so, and I hope it continues to in your opinion!)**

**barjy02 (:3 maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe)**

**Qzil (DUN DUN DUUUUN! That just felt necessary.) **

**As I always wrap up these ridiculously long A/N's, please review because it makes me happy and less likely to murder off a character ;)**


	9. Samandriel and the Snake

Cas and Meg walked back to where the live animals were, and the associate smiled at them. "Is there anything I can help you with?" the peppy brunet asked.

"I wanted to get my...boyfriend a cat for his birthday," she lied with only a slight hesitation before 'boyfriend'. It was a believable story. Probably.

Cas didn't find that odd. He was a male and her friend. "Yes," he agreed.

"Great," the woman grinned. She lead them back into a room where all the cats were. They could see into the colourful room through windows, but the woman had to unlock the door for them. "If you find one you like let me know," she told them. Her radio started buzzing and the voice from the other end called, "Morgan, we need your help over with the rodents."

"I'll be right there," the woman, who Meg now guessed was probably named Morgan since she hadn't bothered to read the name tag, replied. "Will you two be alright in here for a few minutes?"

"We'll be fine," Meg nodded.

Once the woman left Cas crouched down next to the cats and stared at them for a long time, not seeming to say anything. But he was having conversations with each of them.

"Are you okay?" Meg asked after a couple of minutes. He was acting kind of weird...

"Yes I'm speaking with them. I cannot simply pick one based on appearance."

"You...can talk to cats?" she raised an eyebrow. She didn't know Angels could do that. Then again, how much did humans -really- know about Angels?

"Of course. I'm an Angel."

"Shh! Don't announce that!" Meg looked around, they were alone, but she didn't want to take any chances here. "And..what are the cats saying?"

"One of them likes you. I think I might pick him." It wouldn't be good to have a cat who didn't like the person whose house it was living in.

"I'm surprised any of them do. Animals tend to avoid me instinctively." Probably a good thing considering what most Demons did to animals.

"Yes I've noticed." He picked up the light gray one with a few white stripes that looked almost like ones a tiger would have. It was small, just a kitten. "This one is much like you. It goes against the status quo."

"Then I approve," though she wanted to drown it, all of them, but she wouldn't act on that.

A second later the woman came back in, "Did you find one?" Cas nodded and she saw which one he was holding. "Good choice. We were starting to be afraid this one wouldn't find a home."

Meg wondered how that could be since the cat was so young, and she thought that maybe the woman said this -every- time to make sure no one changed their mind at the last minute.

Cas bought it though, and stared at her with big eyes, "That's terrible. I would take them all home if I could."

"Which is -so- not happening," Meg laughed like it had been a joke. "Can you get the paperwork ready while we go pick up some food for him?" she asked the woman who nodded and disappeared again. Meg grabbed Cas' arm and pulls him through the store. "Like your new kitty, Clarence? What's his name?"

"Samandriel. I think it describes him," Cas answered as he scratched the kitten's ears with one hand, making it purr.

"Cute," she nodded. She was looking for the cat stuff as they passed the reptiles. Meg stopped walking. There was a snake in the aquarium on the end of an isle and...she didn't want to harm it. At all. She didn't start walking, just staring at it, waiting for the feeling to come. But...it didn't.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked. Cas followed her line of sight to try to figure out why she looked practically pale. "The snake says hello."

Meg walked over slowly, like if she got too close the feeling would come. Though she still had no idea why it wasn't already. "If I said hello could she understand me?"

"Yes, of course. She's not stupid."

"Sorry, I'm not use to thinking of animals talking. Do you think she'd let me hold her?" She wanted to push this. See if she really -didn't- hate it, or if the feeling was just delayed for some reason. Another part of her was terrified of the hate suddenly hitting her. She didn't -want- to hate this snake. Or anything really, but this was the first time she had even a fraction of a second to experience what it was like -not- to. At least while she wasn't on Phydus anyway.

Cas watched Meg carefully. This was a very different woman than the one he had seen previously. She was fascinated, but also seemed very unsure of herself. "Probably," he answered, "Ms. snake isn't very talkative but you could if you wanted."

Meg didn't wait for an employee like she was probably supposed to, but undid the latch on the lid and reached her hand down and gently picked up the snake; she slid her hand under her and pulled her coiled out of the tank, running her fingers over her head and down her spine. Meg was astonished that she -still- had no urge to hurt her. At all. "I don't...like I have no..." the words weren't coming. How could she possibly describe this? Describe the fact that there was a creature she didn't need drugs to not want to hurt. That she could actually -hold- her.

"You have no what?" Cas touched the snake's head and they stared at each other for a while.

"Hate towards her," Meg finished. "I've never just...not hated another living thing before. What's she saying?" she asked eagerly. She wanted to know everything she could about this creature.

Castiel smiled. "She's talking about the similarity between our species. Not just mine and hers, but yours and hers."

"What's she saying about it?" Meg pressed.

"You're both created to be monsters. And she says that her and I are both sold for purposes alien to us."

"Well..." It felt weird talking to a snake, but for some reason it felt like it would be disrespectful for her to ask Cas to ask her something. Besides, he'd said she could understand her if she talked. -The snake isn't stupid.- She held the snake a bit closer to her and met her eyes. "Would you like to come home with me? I'll make sure you have a good home." She glanced up at Cas for the translation of the snake's answer.

Cas glanced at the snake for a moment before saying "She's not replying but she seems to like the idea."

Meg wondered if he could somehow read the snake's mood's too, without talking, but didn't have time to ponder it as right then the woman who had help them with Samandriel came over. She didn't look too pleased that Meg was holding the snake without someone who worked there around, but before she could chide them, Meg informed her that she was going to be taking the snake home as well.

**A/N: Dang it, I'm getting bad about the posting daily thing. *sigh* And I was so proud of myself for that. I will do my best to get back on that. Anyway, any guesses as to why she doesn't hate the snake? **

**A PYTHON size thank you to my superfantasticcoolnessremarkable reviewers:**

**Qzil (How do people forget Ash? He was amazing! And the only person in the history of ever who could pull off a mullet.)**

**barjy02 (Kittens are the ultimate distraction, and I like their friendship too :3)**

**So yeah, if you would like to join this party here in the A/N, then you just have to review! **


	10. A Goddess Among Snakes

A while later they were back in the car with everything needed for their new pets; it hadn't been cheap, but that was one thing about being the only heiress to a ridiculously rich father, you didn't have to worry much what things cost. Samandriel sat on Cas' lap, and the snake rested around Meg's neck. The woman had suggested putting them in carriers for the ride home, but Cas had refused and Meg didn't want to let her snake go either. "That was unexpected," Meg commented as she started up her car. Having something she didn't hate...'unexpected' was an understatement.

"Was it? She doesn't have a name, you know. Perhaps you should name her." They'd talked about what he'd name Samandriel even before they went to get him, so he found it odd she had waited so long to name her snake.

"For some reason I guessed she'd choose one for herself," Meg shrugged. Crap, what did one name a snake? It wasn't like Meg had much experience at naming _any_ pet... "But, hm...how does she like the name Nagini?"

Cas smiled, he thought it was a pretty name, but he checked for the snake's reaction. "She doesn't care much for human names but she says if she has to have one that will do."

No, that wouldn't do. If there was a creature she liked, then she would do everything to make sure it was happy. "If she doesn't like human names then how about a goddess's? Maybe...Persephone?" She'd firs thought maybe 'Aphrodite', but that was over used. And Aphrodite was never able to win over Hades, though she had tried. Persephone was the one to melt the hart of the king of the underworld. It fit her snake better anyway.

Cas nodded, "She agrees that she is a goddess among snakes. She's quite arrogant, so Samandriel says."

Meg laughed. Persephone was perfect for her. "Persephone it is then." Meg was grinning and glanced over to Cas and...didn't have the urge to harm him either. She stared at him a bit too long, running a stop sign and getting honked at. That brought her back to reality. A reality where she didn't want to harm the person next to her? _What the hell is going on today and how do I make sure it doesn't stop? _"Oops," she muttered, though she didn't really mean it.

Cas watched her with curiosity. Something wasn't right, though he wasn't sure what. "You're acting strange today. Samandriel says that it's because he's a delight to be around.

"He shouldn't think so, I've been wanting to drown him since I saw him," unforchantly _that_ hadn't changed. Maybe that was a good thing though. If she suddenly didn't hate _everything_ she'd probably be convinced it was just a dream. "But I won't," she added quickly. "Something is definitely going on."

Samandriel turned to where his rear was towards her and hid his head under Cas' hand. "Yes, I've been noticing a lack of darkness in you."

Meg reached out and scratched right above Samandriel's tail as a kind of apology. The same hand came up to where Persephone was laying across her neck and stroked her spine for a moment. "It's not the Phydus, I promise."

"I know that. You're not acting like Phydus."

"I'm sorry about that, again. I'm...sorry," and she really meant it now, unlike how she half-meant it earlier.

He nodded, "I know you are. I'll stop Ash from coming if that's what you really want."

"You will?" she asked hopefully, glancing at him for a moment to gage him before looking back to the road. "I'd appreciate it. But...why? Earlier you were so insistent."

"Because you're right," he sighed. "You've given me free will so I'll give you free will to hate." That wasn't the real reason though. He'd seen what she was like when she was happy. She _could_ do this on her own, he saw that now. She didn't need him, and that was okay.

"No, the free will to find a way to stop by myself. I guess I'm just too proud to accept help, maybe that's why I didn't hate Persephone, we're so much alike." Meg smiled as she glanced at the light reflection of Persephone at the top of her windshield.

"I think that has very little to do with it." He stared at Persephone, wondering what it was that _did_ make Meg not hate her. "However, it is impossible to tell. I hate to bring it up, but do you know when you'll be sending me back?"

The thought of sending him away erased her smile, but she wouldn't go back on her word. "Tomorrow if you'd like."

He didn't notice her change in demeanor as he looked out the window. Earth was a beautiful thing, but home was...well, it was _home_. "Thank you. It's-I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."

How could she be sad when just the thought made him so happy? It was selfish and she knew it. Meg decided she couldn't be sad about this. Wouldn't. It wasn't right for her to be. "You're welcome. I hope Samandriel likes Heaven as much as a dog would." She thought she was funny. All Dogs Go To Heaven...heh...

He tilted his head, pondering that. "I don't think that a dog would like Heaven any more than a cat. But I can't take him."

"Why not?"

"I cannot impose Heaven upon him. I wouldn't want to take him to any place that he doesn't know. It's a terrible feeling." _I would know. Honor_, he reminded himself, _It was supposed to be an honor. _There was no reason to be angry with his mother for sending him, or his sister. She hadn't known what was in store for them.

Meg laughed, "So you got him just for a day?"

"I will miss him very much," Cas said with a frown.

"Well..." _Aw, damn it. _"If you ever come and visit Earth, he'll be at my house. It'll be a pain not to be able to find out what he's saying though."

Cas frowned "Yes, he will miss that very much." He held Samandriel a bit closer, already knowing he would miss the cat. Samandriel began to purr even louder. "But it is for the best. He'll have a good home with you."

"Thanks." Meg glanced at Persephone's reflection again, "I'll miss not being able to talk to you too, Persephone. Though I guess I'll be able to talk, it's the whole understanding you two that's the problem."

"Persephone insulted you. Samandriel isn't listening."

Meg laughed, of course Persephone would. "What'd she say?"

"She said that if you couldn't understand even the basics of what she was saying then you are even duller than she thought."

Meg rolled her eyes. "I hate to inform you of this Persephone, but you're not exactly the most expressive creature." As soon as the words were out of her mouth Persephone tensed tightly. Her body's sudden change pulling at the sloped skin between Meg's neck and shoulders.

"She disagrees vehemently."

"I got that, I could feel the coil."

He nodded, it was ironic that the personality of the thing Meg didn't hate would be so disagreeable to most creatures. Cas found it almost sweet how they seemed to be meant for each other. "Yes. You should be more sensitive to her emotions."

"I'll try. I'm not exactly use to being sensitive to _anyone's_ emotions," Meg pointed out.

"Which is why she is good for you."

"You really are," Meg smiled, "But you're going to have to be slightly patient with me."

Cas paused to let her speak before translating. "She says that for you she will try."

"Thanks," Meg grinned. For some reason she got the feeling that Persephone was a loner like herself. And not a morning person. She just seemed the type.

When there was a lapse in conversation Cas' mind wandered back to thoughts of going home. He wondered how his family had changed. All his brothers would be older than him and probably have moved out. Well, maybe not Gabriel. He wondered if Michael and Raphael had families of their own by now, and if Balthazar was still having to nag Gabriel to get his act together or if he'd left it as a lost cause.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Cas blinked to bring himself back to reality. "What use would I have for a penny?"

"It's an expression," she explained.

"Oh. Will I still get a penny if I tell you my thoughts, or is that meaningless bribery? Though I suppose it's meaningless if I were to get a penny or not as they're not worth very much."

Meg shook her head and tried her best not to laugh. "What were you thinking about?"

"My brothers. I'm sure they're much different now."

"Ah. Speaking of other angels, know anyone that really deserves to get out? I don't know who I'll be able to find next, but I can try."

He didn't even have to pause to think. "My sister Anna. That being said, as a female she is treated far better. More valuable. If you can't find her I will not blame you."

"Like I said, I'll try my best," she promised. "And I'm going to tell them you died, that's why I need another angel. Demons are known for being violent so they won't question it."

"Thank you." Meg couldn't possibly know what this meant to him.

**A/N: Well I hope you guys enjoyed this fic! I would like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed and I hope you liked the end!**

**...Kidding. This is no where NEAR over yet XD**

**So what do you guys think of Samandriel and Persephone? The names or the pets themselves? **

**Anyway, a shout out and thanks to the people who keep it going because without them I wouldn't have the inspiration to keep writing it:**

**Qzil (Great guess! No, but that might actually be better than what I have planned...)**

**barjy02 (I was kind of scared no one would like the pets, so I'm really glad you do!)**

**So a big thank you to everyone who has read this far! Double digits woo!**


	11. A Goddess Among Humans

The next morning Castiel was ready to go. Meg was dreading it.

"Good morning," he greeted her as she came down stairs. "I made breakfast."

"I didn't ask you to," she yawned as she slumped down into her seat.

"You didn't have to," Cas shrugged. He enjoyed doing things for her, it was nice to feel needed when he had the option.

"Well...thanks." She was in a sour mood, but tried her best to be happy. She didn't want to spoil her last few hours with her first friend because of waking up on the wrong side of the bed.

"You're welcome," he smiled.

Awkwardness filled the air. Knowing this was the last time this would happen made them both feel pressured to make it special somehow, yet wanting it still the same, as if it would happen a hundred more times. Neither of them had realized just how comfortable they'd become with their morning routine, and neither quite knew what to say about it.

"So...um...It won't be a long drive," Meg commented once the silence became too thick. The transporter between the worlds was in the middle of no where, but considering her house was on the outskirts of the city that wouldn't be a problem. She almost wished it was.

"That's-That's good," he nodded.

Nothing else was said the rest of breakfast.

Cas didn't really have anything to pack, but slid on the trench coat from the previous day without thinking about it while Meg grabbed her car keys.

-Where are you going?- Samandriel asked as he threaded between Cas' legs.

"Home," Cas answered.

-Aren't you already there?-

"No Samandriel. Not really."

-Then aren't you going to bring my toys?-

Cas knelt down and picked up the kitten, scratching behind his ears as Samandriel curled up between his arm and chest. "You're not coming with me. This is your home."

Samandriel's eyes were half closed when he answered, -But yesterday you said you were taking me home with you.-

Cas didn't have an answer for that at first. "Yesterday..." He hadn't been lying when he'd said that. So what had he meant by it? "Yesterday this was my home."

Samandriel didn't answer. He had already fallen asleep.

"Ready?" Meg asked as she came around the corner, sliding her purple leather jacket on.

Cas set Samandriel down on the back of a near by chair gently as to not wake him. "Yes."

Nothing was said in the car either.

There was nothing to mark the transporter. It was just a circle on the ground almost completely filled in with strange symbols that Meg couldn't make heads or tails of. No one was around, and they were both grateful for that.

They stood at the edge together, both inspecting the circle instead of looking at each other. "So this is it, huh? Big magic teleporter?" she tried for a normal, teasing tone, and it was only slightly off.

"Yes," he answered shortly.

"Just step on and..poof?"

His expression softened at that. "In a way, I suppose that's an accurate description."

Meg finally turned to look at Cas, and he turned as well to meet her. -You don't have to go.- "I'll miss you," she told him honestly. She'd never missed anyone before, but she'd never had someone worth missing either. Cas paused, unsure what to say. In the beat of hesitation, on a whim, Meg stepped forward, reaching out, and hugged him tightly.

He hugged her back, wings touching her cheekbones softly as he pulled away, wishing he didn't have to. But she didn't need him anymore, and home was where he belonged. "I will remember that in a world of human monsters, there was a goddess among your kind." He brushed the trails of his feathers on her cheek again before stepping into the transporter.

**A/N: I wrote this yesterday at 1 in the morning right before I went to bed and it still hurts. **

**A planet Heaven size THANK YOU to my wonderful reviewers:**

**Gilda (Yay! I'm glad you like them, and hope you liked this chapter as well :D)**

**Qzil (Thank you :)**

**barjy02 (I thought the name was rather appropriate. And I think this chapter answered you're question :)**

**So did anybody else tear up or was that just me getting over emotional?**


	12. Heaven is Home

Balthazar was waiting for him at the other end of the transport. "Cassie! It's been much too long."

Cas looked at him with wide blue eyes. Woah, Balthazar was old. Probably about his age but somehow that didn't compute with Cas. Phydus had never affected him like his, and he hadn't had any, but it was the only thing he could think of that altered his brain like this. Not only did this pacify him, but it numbed his brain practically to the point of uselessness. "Yes...Long. Like Nahini..."

Balthazar stopped and looked him over in confusion. "Dude, how high are you?"

He shook his head "I'm not... I'm not high. I don't-don't know what's going on."

"Oh damn, it must be the transport. Sometimes it messes with your head the first time. Though I'm not sure why that would affect you. Maybe since it's been so long," Balthazar shrugged.

Cas stumbled a little bit as he tried to step forward. It felt more like a really strong dose of Phydus than a transport mind scramble. Not that he really knew what a transport mind scramble felt like. Maybe it felt like a really strong dose of Phydus. "Since I've only lived two weeks and...and...three days of my life without Phydus, it's not as bad as you suspect it to be. Al-almost comforting."

"You lived without it for seven years here," he pointed out.

"I..." What was he going to say? It was something...He'd started a sentence... "have trouble remembering those...those years. They took a long time to make me forget."

"Humans are disgusting," Balthazar sneered.

"But I do remember you! Not much but I remember that you made me laugh sometimes." Cas was glad he was able to say that without stuttering. Maybe the scramble was fading a bit? That would be good. It made his thoughts all scrambled.

If Cas was expecting him to be like he was before, Balthazar figured it would be a shock to meet him now. "That's probably a good thing. Can you fly like this?"

"Fly? That's possible?" Cas' eyes went wide and he pulled his head back a bit. Why was Balthazar split into three? Was that possible too? _Can I split into three?_

Balthazar raised an eyebrow. Cas...didn't know how to fly? "You...do know what those things on your back are, yes?"

"I-I suppose I've just never been...taught. There are many...man-many flightless birds on Earth."

Balthazar's nose scrunched in disgust, "That's sick."

"Not all of them are so cruelll. I can walk, Balt." Cas shortened the name mostly because his mind wasn't working and the word 'Balthazar' was too daunting. "It's no problem I'm f-" But before he could say 'fine', Cas crumpled on to the ground.

"Well, you're not 'fine' if that was the f-word at the end of that sentence," Balt rolled his eyes, then bent down to pick him up and carry him to Michael's place.

The journey wasn't easy, but Balt was glad they were already in the canopy and not on the ground. It would have been hell to try to fly Cas all the way up. The top of the forest where their cities were built were over three hundred feet straight up, and while Balt was strong enough to carry Castiel, it would be awkward and he was happy he didn't have to deal with that. It was graceless enough to have to throw Cas over his shoulder and carry him over the web of bridges that ran through the city like veins. _Not like Michael or Gabe could have bothered to come pick him up with me._

When Castiel woke up his world was darker despite the sunlight that penetrated his eyelids. He wondered if this was what it was like to come down from a high. "Balthazar?" he croaked as he forced his eyes open. The room he found himself in had gaping windows with canvases rolled up, resting at the top. The floor and walls were both made of a substance similar to bamboo that he couldn't recall the name of it had been so long since he'd seen it. The roof was the same canvas that rested above the windows, but it was pulled tight, finishing off the box feeling. _Home. _Cas didn't know if it was the same house he'd spent his first seven years growing in, or if it was a different one, but it didn't matter. This was a house on Heaven, there was no mistaking it.

"Feeling better?" Balt asked from where he was leaning against the wall, glad Cas had finally woken up. He hadn't gone to get his brother from the station in order to watch him sleep.

"Somewhat," Castiel said as he sat up and turned to where his feet rested on the ground and his back was towards the back of what he now realized was the couch he had been laying on. He sat up straight as if he were presenting himself to a new master and hoping not to get beaten. His wings were pressed hard against his back almost painfully and that's how he'd always been told to keep them on Earth. He was use to it, but the slight pain of reminder always kept him in reality. No matter what he remembered of this man, anyone could be dangerous. Even Balthazar.

Balt looked over him. It had been too damn long since he'd seen his brother. Not when he was either high or passed out, but that didn't count. "Why are you doing that with your wings? It has to hurt."

His wings fluttered a little bit under his brother's scrutiny but stood tightly "I still don't know you, Balthazar. I'm being careful."

"You don't have to be, not here. Not with family," Michael told him gently as he came into the room with a smile. "It's been a while, brother." He had wanted to be waiting when Castiel woke up, but figured it was best not to overwhelm him first thing with too many people, but he was pleased that he'd insisted Balthazar bring Cas to his house.

Cas shook his head, "Family has no meaning to me," besides Anna, but I spent time with her. "I remember very little of our involvement. I... did come here to see you but I don't know who I can trust here. There were very few back on Earth." It felt unnatural to be so forward with people he hardly knew, but he also knew they wouldn't take well to him being secretive.

"No one here will hurt you, ever. Unlike there, here the choice is always yours. I would like for you to tell us about it, but if you wish otherwise you will not be pressed," Michael informed him comfortingly. He could see the unease in his brother's eyes and he hated it. Those monsters had done this to his brother, and they would pay for it dearly as well.

He frowned and his wings relaxed. They had gotten far darker with age, and he wondered how his brothers would react to that. Cas had been so eager to come home, but now that he was here, all he could feel was paranoid."I suppose that starts with Naomi..." One by one he told them the story of each of his owners, leaving out none of the ugly details. Until he came to Meg. How could he possibly describe all she had done for him? "Meg...in the land of slaves and monsters, she was an angel."

"She was like us?" Michael tilted his head in confusion. "Then why was she allowed to be an owner instead of a slave?"

"Not like us; she didn't have wings. She was not a human monster, she was very kind, though she was human."

"A kind human," Balt scoffed, "There isn't such a thing."

"Yes there is," Cas insisted. "She was. she took me off of Phydus and sent me home. She said she'd try to find Anna."

"Why the hells would a human do that?" Gabriel asked as he came around the corner. He'd been listening for a while, but knew Michael would get mad if he'd interrupted Cas' story. And of course he couldn't have come _before_ that because 'we don't want to overwhelm him'. _Ugh, Michael. With his 'one at a time' rule. Cas is my brother too! Yeash._

"Because not all humans are monsters," Cas insisted again. A month ago he would have been right there with them, hating all of humanity. He was glad she had changed his perspective. If he hated all of them, what was the difference?

"It sounds almost like Cassie's got the hots for her," Gabriel teased with a half-smirk.

That was an absurd notion. Cas decided to ignore it. Meg was kind, that did not mean he 'had the hots' for her. "Gabriel where are Abaddon and Chuck? Did you kill them? I'm sensing you kill a lot of people."

"What? Why would I kill our parents?" Gabriel looked genuinely surprised. _That_ sure came out of left field. "And don't judge me, it's my job to execute anyone on death row!"

"I'm not sure, I don't know you. I do have fond memories of them, however, and I would like to see them."

"That's a great idea," Michael smiled, trying to relieve the bit of tension he was sure went unnoticed by Cas. Cas didn't know how much they'd all missed him, or how much it hurt to be reminded of that. Cas didn't know that at every holiday they'd always set a place for him and Anna, or that their mom had shut off her emotions when they discovered that they could no longer get in contact with Earth and it was likely they'd never hear from him or Anna again. "Do you think you're alright to walk now?"

"Yes, though I've been told that flying is easier. That would be a good skill to learn." He stood up, not shaky at all. He was glad the scrambling didn't last nearly as long as a dose of Phydus. Though that might not be true considering he didn't know how long he was passed out. Cas decided it wasn't important at the moment.

"They're two bridges over, so flying won't be necessary," Michael told him. "Usually we don't fly within the city as long as our destination isn't on the other side or anything."

Cas just nodded.

"Mom? Dad? You have a visitor," Michael called as he pushed back the canvas that closed off the the door to their parents house and held it open as he, Cas, Balt, and Gabe all stepped inside.

The air was cooler around them with all the windows covered, but the canvas still let enough light in that it took only a moment for his eyes to adjust. "Mother? Father?"

Gabriel beamed at his parents look of astonishment. It had been his idea to not tell them about Cassie's return and just let them be surprised. Of course Michael only went along with it when he'd pointed out that it would crush them if they knew and it somehow fell through.

Chuck didn't even have to look to know who it would be. He could feel it in his soul. Like a puzzle piece clicking into place. His son was home. "CASTIEL!" he practically tackled his son with his hug.

She hadn't felt emotion in years, but the pull on her soul overrode the choice to shut down emotion. Her son was _home_. "Hey, I wanted to hug him first!" Abaddon protested, but slid her arms around both Castiel and Chuck. "I've missed you so much! How are you even here?"

**A/N: Yes, Cas' parents are Chuck and Abaddon. Nobody judge my weird ship. BUT THEY WOULD BE THE BEST OLD MARRIED COUPLE EVER OKAY.**

**Now to the two magnificent people who reviewed chapter Matt Smith!:**

**Qzil (Of course it can't end there! There's so much more emotional damage to the characters that needs to be caused first! Mwahahahaha)**

**barjy02 (Yeah, I know it was short for this fic, but I didn't feel like it should go longer because it was a pretty good ending point for that. I hope the length of this one helps make up for it :)**

**And Chucoddon's theme song is totally The Bitch Song by Bowling for Soup. And yes, I did name the ship myself.**


	13. Torture Dungeon

Anna narrowed her eyes at the approaching human. "If you think I'm going with you I'm not. You're disgusting, you... You killed my little brother," she practically growled as Naomi ripped at her collar. Anna hated the thing, leashed like an _animal._

Meg was playing the demon. She'd had to. It had been difficult to convince Anna's last owner to sell her and the only way Meg had accomplished that was my scaring the man half to death. Meg told him to bring her to one of the traders Meg knew best, Naomi. "And he was quite a fun toy," she smirked, eyes holding that creepy emotion that scared humans even when a demon's eyes weren't full black, "and you're the only one of the same blood line here on Earth. Hopefully you'll last as long. Most of my toys don't. And they weren't as fun either."

"Bite me," she growled, yellow-and-blue wings ruffling up in anger.

"Maybe later," Meg winked, but turned to Naomi more seriously. "How long has it been since this one's had Phydus?"

"One hour ago. It doesn't seem to matter how much we give her. She's very angry at you."

"Perfect," Meg grinned. She found it too easy to play this role. It was strenuous to simultaneously fight the desire to harm the girl while playing the part of the Demon who wanted to. It made it too simple to let herself become that. "Now come along Anna, I don't have all day." With that she turned and walked away, heading to her car expecting Anna to follow, knowing that Naomi would make her one way or another.

Anna followed her, knowing she didn't have a choice one way or the other, but she'd rather walk and not be dragged on a leash. At least there was more dignity in that. Slightly. "I'm not doing anything for you," Anna hissed. So this was the monster that had killed the last tie to family she had.

Meg didn't answer until they were both in the car with the doors shut and she'd started driving. Forcing herself away from the role, reminding herself that it _was_ just a role. She wouldn't give into it. Ever. Taking a deep breath to come back to herself, she finally answered, "You're right. I'm sending you back to Heaven like I told Cas I would. He's there by the way."

"Like I would trust you. Why would a _Demon_," Anna spat the word like a curse, "want to help me or Cas?"

"Because I'm trying to fight it and you can ask Cas' cat when we get to my house. He couldn't take him home, but I don't mind having Sam," she shrugged.

"Castiel's cat?" That...made sense. Castiel had always loved cats. But that didn't mean Anna would trust this woman. But…she wanted to hope. "Fine, I'll give you time."

Good. That was all Meg needed. Since Anna seemed to respond positively to the topic, Meg went on, "Samandriel, but I just call him Sam. Less of a mouthful."

Anna laughed, "Cas _would_ name a cat, Cat."

"Right?" Meg grinned at the memory. "It'll be nice to be able to know what he's saying again, if you'll translate of course." She wanted to make it clear that this was all Anna's choice. She would _not_ be forced to do anything, not even talk to Sam.

"Yeah sure, why not? I haven't seen Cas in forever, it's good to know that the Phydus hasn't changed him. It does some people, but only he would choose that name," she shook her head and rolled her eyes in that 'my little brother…' way, despite the fact that Cas was actually older than her.

"I wouldn't know if it did or not."

"Not if he's still doing things like that. Trust me, he's fine."

"Good," Meg smiled. She was finding that smiling came easier ever since that day at the pet store, especially when she thought of Cas. Not that she would ever admit that out loud. Or in her own head. Nope.

"Sometimes it turns people into robots. But Cas was always further from a robot than anyone," Anna mused.

"I could tell," Meg agreed, "even when I first met him and he was all Phydus-y." Thinking back, that day seemed so long ago. It was flunky how not much had really happened, but it somehow seemed like they'd been through so much since that day.

Anna was still suspicious when they pulled up to the house, but she had to act like she wasn't. If this Demon would snap, she didn't want it to be any sooner than necessary. And ticking her off early on wasn't smart either. She was surprised that her resistance earlier hadn't gotten her smacked now that she thought about it. Not her best moment, but this was the thing that possibly killed her brother. How was she supposed to react to that? Her initial reaction had been completely called for.

When the girls went inside Samandriel went right up to Meg who picked up the kitten, holding him close and scratching behind his ears. The kitten looked over at Anna, who got the district feeling she was under inspection. "Want to see your room?" Meg asked Anna.

"Sure, but when are you sending me back with Cas?" _If that is what you really plan to do with me. _Samandriel perked at Cas' name.

"Two weeks. It would be sooner but my cover story is that I keep accidently killing my angel's through torture and no one would believe that happened in a day or something. Two weeks seems to be an acceptable time. That's about how long Cas stayed and I've done some research about demons killing angels," Meg explained.

Anna caught most of Meg's spiel, despite the fact that Sam decided to talk at the same time, not that Meg could know that. "Got it. Samandriel says that he wants you to send Cas back now please."

"Oh...Sam...Cas isn't coming back," she told the cat gently.

Samandriel looked up to Meg, then to Anna, understanding that Anna was somehow the same as Cas and could translate for him.

"Sam disagrees," said Anna with a laugh.

Meg rolled her eyes, "You would, wouldn't you?" she grinned at the kitten. She doubted it, but she was still grateful for the kitten's hope. Maybe she could borrow some of it. Meg missed her friend, just like Sam did, but unlike him, she really doubted Cas would return. Maybe she'd be able to send him a message through Anna. "I really missed being able to know what him and Persephone were saying."

"He says that he needs a human translator sometimes too." Anna could see how this cat in particular would appeal to Castiel. It's flighty personality would complement his well.

"Why? All I say is 'wait a second I'm getting your tuna' or 'move you're in the way'!" Or that one time she curled up with him crying because of...she wasn't going to think about that, it was _one time_ dang it! Just because Demons _didn't_ cry, didn't mean they _couldn't_ cry. But she did not cry.

Anna listened for a moment, but Sam's response didn't make much sense to her. Except for the last part. "He says something about why do human's eyes leak, and also he likes salmon, not tuna."

"Finicky cat," Meg grumbled, mainly not happy that he'd told on her cry fest. "Fine, I'll get salmon once I'm out of tuna this time, but you're going to eat the tuna until then, got it? There's only two can's left anyway."

_It will be a very well cared for cat._

Anna chortled. For a Demon, Meg seemed caring. It surprised Anna, still expecting to be punished for something, or for no reason at all. "You're a spoiled cat," she reached forward hesitantly to scratch behind it's ears. Meg might not like her so close…but Meg seemed fine with it, luckily. "You said something about a Persephone?" she asked.

Meg perked up at that. "She's my snake. I got her the same time Cas got Sam. She's the first creature I've ever _not_ hated at first sight, or any sight."

Anna raised an eyebrow, "You got Cas a cat just so that he could leave it here?"

"I told him I would get him a cat, we hadn't worked out that he was leaving the next day yet, but I wasn't just going to toss Sam out on the street or something," _or drown him_, Meg shrugged.

Anna just shook her head slowly. This could _not_ be real. No Demon was like this, no _human_ was like this. There had to be some kind of catch. "Okay, I have to ask. Do you have a sex torture dungeon?"

"Haven't got around to building one yet," Meg answered nonchalantly, yet facetiously.

"Do you have a _normal_ torture dungeon?"

Both women kept perfect poker faces for a moment, before cracking up laughing.

**A/N: Ever have a day where it's like "I should have just stayed in bed and watched Netflix"? Well at least one good thing came out of it, this chapter!**

**Speaking of good things:**

**Qzil (Crack!ships are, indeed, the best. Though...I don't see Chucoddon as a crack!ship...fanon ship, not canon, but not crack. Now you have full rights to judge XD)**

**barjy02 (Heh...hehe...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAI'm not going to say anything about it.)**

**Yeah, please do the thing. You get your name on this cool list! **


	14. Your Mother and Your General

Castiel looked at his family with a small smile. It had been a few days since he'd arrived, and they'd insisted he'd take it easy and adjust to Heaven. He'd needed it too. The multiple levels of bridges in the canopy of the forest were confusing, and that was just basic navigation. It still seemed incredible that he was an _equal_ here. Several times he'd asked what they'd wanted him to do, and just like Meg had, they'd rebuked him. He was not a servant here, and they made sure of it. Castiel had forgotten how highly respected his family was. He was still uncomfortable with them but at least they tried to be understanding with him. Cas knew it would take a long time for the place to truly feel like home, but he was sick of not doing much. Sure, they'd taken him to tour the city, and let him read about Heaven all he liked. Balt and Gabe had even tried to teach him to fly. That experience was frustrating to all three of them considering how strange it was to teach a full grown angel something most fledglings could do. They told him he'd been able to before, but after so many years of compressing his wings to his back, he couldn't even recall the feeling of the wind against them. "I want to do something to help," he finally told them. "There are many of us still on Earth, and while I love being with you all, I feel useless. Especially knowing so many are still enslaved."

Abaddon, Chuck, Balthazar, Gabriel, Michael, and Cas were all sitting in the parents' living room. Chuck was in a chair with Abaddon half sitting on its arm rest. Gabe and Michael shared the couch, with Balt on the floor, leaning against the side of it between his brothers feet. Cas was in the chair opposite Chuck.

"We know, that's actually what we wanted to talk to you about," Michael said, looking to Abaddon.

"Cas," Abaddon started, "we're going to rescue them. All of them, but we know that won't come without a fight."

He nodded, "I think that is a smart idea. That being said... they live in a burning hatred, I'm not sure we can escape that fire."

"Not without a war," Michael agreed.

"No, I mean with a war. I'm not sure we can win. But we also cannot let this continue to burn us, so this is the wisest option. However, you must know that they're genetically wired to hate us," Cas informed them.

Abaddon and Michael looked between each other. They knew the reason they'd met was to tell Cas everything, but they still didn't know how he would take it. Cas had never liked conflict as a fledgling, and while his reaction was good so far, they were still unsure.

"We're going to win because I'm leading the army," Abaddon told him. "Now what do you mean about genetically wired?"

Cas' eyes turned as big as satellite dishes. "You're...leading the combined armies of this entire planet?" He'd rediscovered that his family was important, but his mother having _that_ high of rank?

"Yes. I'm a _very_ good general without emotions. Even better than I was before," Abaddon straightened her already perfectly positioned shoulders to look even taller with pride. She'd done well for herself, and her family, and she damn well knew it. "Now about the genetic wiring?"

His mother had shut down her emotions. That was _not_ a good thing in any way, shape, or form. He remembered very little about his mother, but no matter how kind she had started out, she would no longer be that way. Only the cruelest of Angels turned off their emotions, it was a horrid thing to do. To purposefully shut down all empty for anything. Cruelest or weakest. Those were the only two types of Angels who chose to shut down. Either you wanted to not feel because of your pain, or someone else's. Why she'd done it didn't matter. His mother was gone, willingly replaced with a robot. "I've had very little education, but I understand that they've been genetically changed somehow to hate us. So if we could somehow change it back we could stop the war."

"I'll get the scientists working on it, but for now we have to prepare for a fight. I won't blame you either way, but do you want to be trained to help us with this? Go back and save everyone?" Abaddon asked seriously.

Did he? Castiel had never fought in his life. He'd been beat on by his various owners, and it was ingrained in him to just take it, never dare to hit back. But now he could. He could hit back, and stop all the Angels down on Earth from having to take it. He nodded, "Yes. I do trust Meg but I don't trust her race."

Abaddon was pleased. Three of her sons were following in her footsteps. And then there was Balthazar, but she'd taken that as a lost cause years ago. "I'm glad. And because she helped you I'll do my best to make sure she isn't harmed." Maybe.

"She _will not_ be harmed," he said in the most forceful voice he could manage. "She can't. No one should be harmed unnecessarily, on our side or theirs."

"Exactly. That's why we're going to send word that if they release all of the Angels to come back home, then we'll leave in peace. Only if _they_ choose war will we attack." The lie came easily, as they always did. But that would at least keep his nose out of their first attacks, and would give him time to train.

Cas didn't like the idea of any war, but he understood the necessity in this case. "They won't. They're forced to hate us. And they won't give up their pets, but... I agree that you must do this."

"It also gives them a chance to prepare and protect their civilians," Chuck spoke up. He didn't like having to lie, but giving Castiel more time to train meant that he would better know what to do once he was involved. And how to protect himself. Chuck didn't like the thought of losing any of his children, but especially not one he'd just gotten back.

Cas complied. "Yes, and civilians needn't be harmed," he repeated the point because he wasn't sure if it was breaking into his mother's head for some reason.

"You care a lot about a race that does so much to harm your own," Michael observed curiously.

"I care about any kind of life whether they've been kind to me or not; but I'll go along with the war for the reason of sparing our kind, it does not mean that I enjoy hurting theirs." He'd learned there was good in them, no matter how cruel they were told to be.

"And I'm proud of you for that," Chuck smiled at his son. It stirred something wistful in him for the days that his wife was more like that.

"I would not be so kind to them if it weren't for Meg," he admitted, "Crowley and Naomi were..." he almost shivered at the memories, "far from kind."

"And you'll never have to deal with them again," Chuck assured with a sad smile.

"No," Abaddon agreed, "after this, not you or any other angel will."

"I disagree. We will always have to deal with them. Communication will not cease after one war. We must establish a firmer bond, something less...dependent."

Abaddon shook her head, "No. Not after this. Maybe in a few years, but after this we're cutting communication completely. We're _done_ with their species."

"How do you expect to do that? They have such a deep hatred of us in their souls, they'll come after us unless you do what I've told you."

"They cut off communication once and it too _us_ years to be able to reestablish it. It'll take those rats _centuries_," Abaddon scoffed.

"You underestimate them. They've seen our technology, they'll learn how to make it for themselves. I imagine they already understand it by now."

_Then we'll kill each and every one of them_, but she didn't say it out loud. "We've developed a cloaking device that they've _never_ seen before. Unless they are able to get past that technology we'll be good for a few years to let things calm down, and _then_ find communication we can both be happy with." _Unless they all get slaughtered, then we'll never have to deal with them again._

He mulled it over in his head. "I see. Yes, that is a good plan. But why not just draw back communications and put up the cloaking now? It will surmise far less casualties."

"Because we can't leave all the angel's on Earth. Not with how we've discovered they're being treated. This would have happened years ago if we would've known. We'd be no better than the humans if we didn't try to save them. Generations and generations of angels left to the same fate _you_ would have had before coming to this Meg girl. Is that _really_ what you want, Castiel?" Abaddon demanded, eyes boring into him.

"Yes. If I was still back there, I would not want people to die to save me. It was difficult there, but I was alive." Something was wrong about this. He wasn't sure what, but the way Abaddon talked about it made the hairs on the back of his neck prickle.

"Hardly. And not everyone shares that opinion. All who are preparing to go to battle have chosen to. Like you just said you wished to. Have you changed your mind?" she challenged.

"No. I'll do what I can to save them because I cannot stop whatever you're doing. But..." he stepped closer, "you are not my mother and I will fight as hard as I can to save _anyone_ I can."

Abaddon met his gaze dead on. "I _am_ your mother, and no one will die unless it is necessary. I've already told you this."

"You say that and yet your bloodlust is cloaking your senses."

"You will respect me as your mother _and_ your General. Understood? I need soldiers who will act without question, because you might not see the purpose of an order, but there is _always_ one."

"You're asking me to blindly trust authority after this?"

"If we have to go to battle, then yes."

In the middle of the room, mother and son were practically nose to nose by that point, staring each other down. Chuck, Gabriel, Balthazar, and Michael watched in silence, none of them stupid enough to invoke Abaddon's wrath, and hoping Cassie wouldn't have to learn the hard way.

Castiel looked back at Michael, Gabriel, and Balthazar all in turn, breaking eye contact with Abaddon, and severing the cord of tension that had engulfed the room until that point. "I trust that you believe in what you're doing," he looked back to her eyes, "And if there's anything I've learned on Earth, it's how to follow orders."

"Good. Michael will be in charge of your training. We've sent a message to Earth saying that if all Angel's aren't returned home in one of their month's time then they have one year to prepare for war. Be ready if that comes to pass." Abaddon turned and strided out of the room, not feeling an ounce of guilt at the fact that both humans and Angels were probably massacring each other at that very moment.

**A/N: I'm not sure about this chapter, just because introducing the war had to be perfect and IDK if it was suspenseful enough, but I've spent two days on it and I don't think it's going to get any better. Also, sorry for not updating yesterday.**

**AND LIKE SERIOUSLY THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED THE LAST CHAPTER GOT MORE THAN ANY OTHER LIKE WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH *dumps huge bucket of love on everyone*:**

**Qzil (That makes me feel so much better about 13 because I'm always nervous to write humor because I never know if anyone else will find it funny, and especially writing two characters who I don't think have ever met)**

**regrets-collect93 (:3 Well it loves you too! And you're picture thing is awesome! XD)**

**Gilda (I hope you continue to as it continues! They are really fun to write together, but again, kinda daunting because I'm pretty sure they didn't interact on the show)**

**Guest (Fire, why do I even talk to you? XD)**

**barjy02 (I've always had mixed feelings about Anna myself, but I hope you like what happens with her)**

**Multifandomandcantbetamed (You completely made my day! *GLOMP* Thank you so much! I really hope you continue to enjoy it so much!)**

**I can't believe this already has 14 chapters! See you guys on 15! **


	15. I'm Not A Scientist

"What's she saying?" Meg asked for the umpteenth time as Anna held Persephone for the first time.

"She's insinuating that she likes you better than me. She's sassy." Anna was smiling, she was more at ease, though she didn't trust Meg completely, but she was kind so far.

Meg laughed. "Ain't that the truth? But I wouldn't have her any other way. I think I figured out why I don't naturally hate her though."

Now that was definitely something of interest. Hell, a Demon not hating was breaking news update worthy. "Why is that?"

Stealing documents was kind of her specialty after all the years working for her father, and then trying to find out the truth about Demons. The day after Cas left, she'd started on two projects. Finding Anna, and finding out why she didn't hate Persephone. In true Meg style, they were both successful. At least in her mind that was 'true Meg style.'

"Before the Angel's came, when they were developing the hate serum, they wanted to test it, so they made everyone in Kansas City hate snakes. Apparently my great great grandma or something was there at that time. I think the double hate kinda canceled it out, but I didn't realize it because it only seems to work if I see the snake in person." And considering her predisposition to murdering animals when she saw them, she'd avoided pet stores.

Anna raised an eyebrow, she was pretty sure she followed. "So you're saying that the two chemicals reacted with each other and balanced it out?"

"That's what I think anyway. I wasn't able to get any records on the effects of a double dose. Hell, I was hardly able to get the records that told about the experiments. I don't think anyone ever bothered to test the doubles."

Anna nodded slowly, her mind working it through. "It makes enough sense. So that means it would be possible to make everyone stop hating Angels with another dose of the stuff!" she exclaimed. If she took this information back home and was able to tell the right people…who knew what could happen! Excitement raced through her veins at the prospects. Once the humans didn't hate the Angels, they would take them off Phydus! Everyone would have their minds back! Or, more Angels at least. The ones who hadn't already lost themselves past the point of no return. But it was _something_! A chance!

Meg saw the pure joy in the woman's eyes, and (mostly) hated to rain on her parade; but she didn't want Anna to get head of herself and end up in an even larger pool of disappointment if whatever she was thinking didn't work out. "I'm not sure. Being a Demon is a genetic mutation. I don't know if it's the mutation that reacts to the doubles, or if non-mutated DNA will do the same thing. I'm sorry, I'm not a scientist."

"Yes, but you're proof that it _is_ possible, it _could_ happen. This is huge." Her eyes were still wide and she shook her head in amazement. It was hope.

"_If_ we could find a way to use it." Meg's phone started beeping. Checking the caller ID she saw it was a News Update. It was slightly annoying how the government could just have a call sent out to _everyone_. Wasn't that the point of news stations? Thankfully, it only happened with the extreme breaking news. She wondered if maybe the president had gotten a haircut. "One sec," she told Anna before answering the automated call. "This breaking alert has been sent to inform you that it was discovered Angels have found a way to transport themselves to another planet. Do not panic. The situation has been dealt with and the transportation cut off. Again..." Meg's jaw dropped. _What?! _Seriously? The _day_ she had gotten Cas' sister in order to help her? _That_ was the day they found out?! What had she done in a previous life to deserve this one?

Anna listened to the message both times it was read from where she stood a few feet away. "What?" she paused. "H-How can they do that?"

Before she could even begin to contemplate an answer, Meg's phone beeped again. Same thing. Two breaking news alerts in a row? That was unheard of. And after that first bomb that had been dropped? She listened intently, hoping for some kind of answer, and hating the one she got. "Angels from the planet of Heaven have declared war. Do not panic, any domesticated Angel is not involved. Again," the message repeated, but she didn't hear as the phone had slipped from her hand.

Anna stared forward. Both shock and anger paralyzing her. "Well...shit."

"That's an understatement."

"Yeah well I-" but Anna was cut off because a group of people, all in black, all holding guns, smashed through the door, running to surround them both.

**A/N: DUN DUN DUUNNN! Any guesses as to what's happening? Yeah, another short one :/ Alas! I hope it was still enjoyable though!**

**NOW A BIT OF EXTRA LOVE TO MY AMAZING REVIEWERS!:**

**barjy02 (True, but Castiel is a solider as well. I hope you enjoy how that balance is played with in the upcoming chapters)**

**True Love's Kis5 (True XD btw you should reply. But that's currently and by the time you read this you probably already have. And I'm glad you like her :3 She's a fun character!)**

**Qzil (I hope the grammar was better this time. And I'm so happy you enjoyed it, and I hope you continue to as it gets more into it)**

**AND Happy Singles Awareness Day! Or Valentine's day! Either way I hope you all have had a fantastic day!**


	16. Do I Have To Make You

"What the hell?!" Meg demanded, waves of hatred at them coursing through her. She wasn't sure if they were Demon DNA enhanced or not.

A short redhead who definitely didn't look like she belonged pushed through the circle. She wasn't armed, but considering how many soldiers she was obviously in control of, she didn't have to be."Come with us, please," she tried to say politely, knowing the whole 'breaking down the door and charging in' thing probably wasn't sitting well in her target's mind.

Meg shifted to stand in front of Anna, glaring at the other redhead with a fire of fury engulfing her gaze. "Not your Angel, just you," the redhead clarified.

"Why?" Meg challenged.

"Because you're needed by the US Government. It'd suck to have to use these guys." She motioned to the men behind her.

_ That seems odd. Usually the men with guns are the first people the government turned to, _Meg thought bitterly. _That or mind control. _"Needed for _what_?"

She really didn't like when they were difficult. "I told you, The US Government. Now are you going to come with us or do I have to make you?"

"I'm not going until you tell me what the US Government needs me _for_," Meg scowled.

"Guards." The men surged forward. Meg kicked the first one that was close enough hard in the stomach, making him stumble back into another one. A man gripped her around the neck, but she grabbed his arm and used it to flip him over her shoulder, dislocating his in the process. The next one got his head grabbed and forced down to meet her knee. She elbowed, kneed, kicked, punched, slapped, stepped on, anything she could think of to get them _off_ her, but there were simply too many. Especially when one slammed the butt of his gun against the base of her neck. She crumpled, but of course there were hands to catch her. Meg didn't pass out, but she felt her eyes roll up and her lids flutter.

The men pulled her out of her house and into the car, roaring the entire time. "ANNA! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! SAM AND PERSEPHONE TOO! THERE'S MONEY BEHIND MY SHOES IN THE CLOSET! BE SAFE! DON'T TOUCH ME LIKE THAT, JACKASS!" Damn they were strong.

They shoved her into the back of a sleek, black car and shut the door. The redhead got in on the other side, but Meg couldn't see who was driving thanks to the completely black divider between the front and back. She tried the handle, but it wouldn't open. Meg felt pathetic. Defeated by child safety locks.

"Sorry," the redhead gave her an apologetic smile, "but it had to be done. I _told_ you I'd have to if you didn't cooperate."

Meg snarled at her, "And I _told_ you I might cooperate if you would tell me what was going on, bitch!"

"I'm not a bitch! I'm a jerk. Sorry, inside joke... Anyway, I can't tell you what's going on. It's from the US Government; I can't share stuff like that with just anyone."

"If I'm not supposed to know then why am I apparently going to be a part of it?! And who the hell are you anyway?"

"My name's Charlie. I'm...an awesome person who the government needs to clean up their mess with the Angels-Well, not exactly. I'm here to ensure their plans to clean up are executed correctly."

"So the Angels declare war and because of that I get kidnapped by the government. Fan-fucking-tastic," Meg sneered.

"Pretty much," Charlie nodded. "Don't tell them this, but I can't really blame the Angels."

Meg was still on edge, but she couldn't get out and attacking Charlie would have been pointless and probably detrimental to her in the long run. The only thing she could do was see what information she could milk out of the conversation. "Me either, I guess."

"Either way, Abaddon Novak is kind of terrifying and we need the Demons." Aw, crap, she'd given a name. She flinched slightly, but tried to keep a poker face afterwards, hoping Meg wouldn't notice. Charlie wasn't sure about this Demon. She knew that Meg had been a fighter, but left that world for the 'quiet life' as the file had put it, but Charlie suspected the 'hermit life' would probably be more accurate. Either way, Meg didn't act like any of the usual Demon types. They crazy ones were usually just happy to get out of their white rooms and have an excuse to tear into something's flesh. The fighter ones usually didn't care who they were fighting as long as they would get paid. The hermit ones usually weren't too happy about it because they wanted to be away from _everyone_ and it was surrounding them with other living things, but that didn't seem to be the part that bothered Meg.

_Novak? _"For what exactly?"

Well...she'd seemed to calm down...and she'd learn eventually..."To fight them obviously."

"Why Demons? I'm sure anyone else could do just fine." Considering how _everyone on Earth_ hates Angels.

"Because you're natural fighters, easy to train, and because you don't mind the violence. Especially ones like you who were professional fighters."

Great. _That_ was coming back to haunt her after she'd spent so long trying to escape that world. Meg thought she'd left it in her rear view window, but here it was, an 18 wheeler barreling straight towards her on the highway. "Who's Abaddon Novak?" Meg tried to ask it with casual curiosity instead of the burning 'TELL ME THIS COULD BE IMPORTANT' tone that would more accurately convey her current feelings. That probably wouldn't get her anywhere. Except maybe a mental institution _after_ the war. Just great. There really was going to be a fucking war. That was just what she needed in her life.

"She appears to be their lead general or whatever the Angel equivalent of that is. Leader of military control."

"And nothing else is known about her?" Meg pressed, knowing she was pushing her luck. But knowing that if she prodded the right place, it might be worth her while.

Charlie knew she'd probably already said more than her superiors wanted her too, but her job was to try to get the Demons to agree to fight for them, instead of attacking the humans who would try to train them. If information was how she'd channel the the hate of this one Demon, then they couldn't get mad at her for bending the rules. "Depends on what you want to know," she answered carefully.

"Weak points. Uh..family?" Someone with that same last name with the first name of 'Castiel'?

Weird, and slightly pointless?, question..."Oh uh... She has," Charlie pulled out her phone and poked the screen a few times, "one, two, three boys that we know of. Wait! Four but one was...actually your last Angel. And one daughter...who you just bought?" Maybe not so pointless of question. Maybe a very pointed one actually...

Meg knew of Charlie's suspicion instantly. She should say something along the lines of 'seriously? I had no idea.' Or something else that would throw Charlie off her trial. "What is it I'll be trained for, any specifics besides just 'fighting'?" Or she could suspiciously change the subject. Yep, that would be perfect.

"Yes, military strategy against Angels specifically. We have a few of them on our side, no idea why they would be, but it's useful. However, most of them, _like Abaddon's children, _are going to fight on their side."

Great. Specifically how to fight Castiel. Though she knew he wouldn't be fighting, it was unlike him, but his _family_, literally. Meg crossed her arms and sat back. "I refuse."

"Sorry, it's not really a choice." Charlie looked at her sadly, "They'll make sure that you'll do what they want no matter what."

Oh yeah, the whole reason this was a problem. Mind control. Meg thought back to Anna, and how when she'd picked her up anger had overrode the mind control drug. _Bring it on. _"I don't care what they want. I refuse to fight against the angels in this war. End of story."

Charlie felt bad for the girl, she really did. She understood not having a choice in matters, and it was awful, but there was nothing Charlie could do to help. Especially because, wither the Demon complied or not, the same training tactics would be used. Charlie didn't know that though; at least not officially. Hacking talent plus access to hard drives with sensitive information probably wasn't ideal for secret keeping. "I like the buggers too but we have to protect ourselves."

"We have armies for that," Meg pointed out. "I will _not_ fight." Not again. She was _done_ with that. She'd done much too much of it already.

"You have to. I'm sorry, but you don't really have a choice."

**A/N: I can't believe this story has reached over 40 reviews! I'm so grateful to everyone who has contributed to that! And those who just read it because you all are *9th Doctor voice* FANTASTIC too!**

**Now to those who reviewed chapter 15, a INSIDE THE TARDIS size thank you to:**

**Guest (Cliffhangers can be fun as long as you don't have to wait too long to find out what happens! I hope the explanation of what happened in this chapter was enjoyable :)**

**Gilda (Well...Anna's okay?)**

**Guest (:3 Thank you so much! I'm ecstatic you think so!)**

**barjy02 (What if? is probably the entire basis of any fanfiction, so I'm really happy this one is making you think of 'What if?'s)**

**Imagine88 (You completely made my entire week. I seriously have no idea what to even say, that was so nice. I'm just...elated that you think that highly of this fic. Thank you, thank you, thank you! *GLOMP* I hope I don't disappoint :)**

**Funny story time, my friend Ginny spent the night last night, and she literally stayed up all night watching Supernatural. She was starting season 2 when I went to bed and when I got up she was starting season 3. I have spread the disease MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**


	17. Plans of the Weak

He trained away from both the Camp and the city. The Camp was where the army stayed while they weren't on the attack. It was still on Heaven, but away from any of the major cities in case the humans did find a way to go between the worlds. It was also the only place a transporter could still be found. Of course Cas didn't learn any of this until after his training from Michael was over. He had a knack for being a soldier, it seemed. Drills, repetition, taking orders, it was almost comforting to him. With Michael's guidance it seemed practically no time before Cas was moved from training, to the camp, to the battlefield.

Castiel had gotten slowly colder and colder, though none of his siblings quite understood why. Before, he'd been the one getting injured sometimes, perhaps, but he'd never had to hurt anyone else or see them die. The war had just started and he'd seen so many die, too many. So he did the most logical thing-he stopped feeling anything. Castiel had never even considered the option before. His emotions seemed so dim on the Phydus there wasn't much of a point. He also knew it was a choice only the weak made. Was he weak? He'd tried to force himself not to be for so long. To look away once the battles started, the slaughtering began. But when he did it for the first time, his own hands taking the life of another, he knew he was weak, so he shut them down.

It made him a brutal commander, terrifying, and he rose up through the ranks until he was second in command to his mother, faster than anyone would think possible. He didn't think that Abaddon liked any of this but he didn't care, he felt nothing. Absolutely nothing, and it was better than he could have possibly expected. Sweet nothingness. It was so much better than having to deal with the massacres he ordered and executed himself.

Castiel pointed to the door. "I don't care that you're tired, Samandriel." The kid was a little strange, but Castiel liked him. He reminded Castiel of his own Samandriel at home. It wasn't an uncommon name; though Castiel found it slightly strange the word 'cat' would be a name. Though, on Heaven cats weren't exactly the same creature, they were close to those on Earth, thus they hadn't bothered to come up with a different word for them in Phydusian. "Either work with me here or leave and don't come back." But none of that broke through his almost constant foul mood. At least it seemed to be a foul mood. In reality it was no mood at all, but no one else knew of that. It would be too shameful if they knew. Not that Castiel would be able to feel the shame, his family would, and he logically knew that was undesirable.

"I'm sorry," Samandriel apologized. "I guess I'm just a bit frustrated because I'm confused. What is it you need me to do again?" His boss had given him five tasks at once and he just couldn't remember the last one! It was late and he wanted to go home, but he was here for a reason and wouldn't just abandon his job for one night of sleep.

"I apologize," Castiel gave a more comforting smile. Someone who was upset wouldn't work nearly as well as someone who wasn't, so it was in his best interests to not be short with Samandriel. As non-short as he could stand to be anyway. "I need you to fix the communication links so that I can speak with Abaddon." Communication links. What a pretentious name. On Earth they'd called them 'cell phones' and it had been a perfectly fine description, much more efficient to say as well.

Half an hour later Castiel was still on the _phone_ to Abaddon. It was an unusually long conversation between the two as the majority of the time they spoke was to run plans by each other. There just happened to be more plans than usual. "Yes, I agree, we should annihilate the Demons. They're dangerous.''

"I want to show you my plan, come to my tent," she commanded.

There was no reason for him not to follow her command. He might as well have been on Phydus, and her human, with how short of leash Abaddon had him. Of course Castiel would never make that analogy.

Abaddon was actually happy with her son. She recognized right away when he'd shut off his emotions. _Like mother like son. _He was so ruthless like this that it warmed her heart. Well, she assumed it would have been warmed anyway. "We've gotten word that they'll be on the move tomorrow. Here," she pointed to the map on the table between them, "would be the best place to attack. If we have troops hide here they'll pass them and then not be able to run back. You will lead the front against them of course," she told Castiel.

At that point Chuck walked in with a tray. He'd brought them both tea. Setting the tray right in the middle of the map he poured them each a cup. He sat the kettle down again, handing them each a dainty tea cup filled to the brim. "Ah, my wife and my son plotting battle strategies together. I'm so proud," he smiled, paying no mind to the fact that some of the tea had sloshed onto the map right where their plans were drawn.

Abaddon kissed his cheek, "Thank you, love. And for the tea."

Castiel gave his father a cruel smile, he wanted to snap at the man for messing up the map, but knew his mother wouldn't like that. He picked up the tray and moved it to a different table with a tad too much force, making a bit spurt out of the kettle. Castiel paid it no mind, just like Chuck hadn't cared, and went back to the map. "Yes that would be a good plan, though I'd say perhaps a yard to the right. It gives us the advantage of the shelter of trees. They'll die out almost immediately."

Chuck understood the dismissal when Abaddon's attention returned to the soggy bit of map as well. With a last, lingering look at the pair he disappeared out the door, leaving the kettle of calming drink behind.

"I didn't think of that," Abaddon studied the area again. They were up late, but they finalized the plans and sent out the needed orders. The Demon's wouldn't last ten minutes, Abaddon was sure.

**A/N: I love Chuck so much. **

**If you have been reading my A/N's then by this point you know what this list is. Also, I'm running out of ways to say it:**

**Guest (*cue Battlefield by Jordin Sparks*)**

**barjy02 (Your 'blood and tears' thing makes me think of the Targaryens from Game of Thrones. Though that's 'Fire and Blood' actually. Great book though.)**

**And shout out to you awesome person who has continued reading up to this point!**


	18. Don't You Cry

At first Meg didn't want to let herself be trained, but it seemed that with each passing day she found herself more receptive of it. To the point where she could no longer remember why she'd even fought against it in the first place. Most of the training was about how to channel their inner Demon; and on the hatred of Angel's in particular. There were also attempts at teaching not to hurt humans, but with so many Demons it happened once in a while, though never because of her. She excelled at the stealth courses, probably because she'd been stealing secret documents for practically all her life (not that they needed to know that), and combat came like second nature. It wasn't long until she was actually looking forward to the war. It would be _real_ fighting, none of the training crap where she couldn't finish the kill.

She walked in ranks with the rest of the Demons. She didn't really care where they were going as long as it was to another fight. She, like the others, was delighted when there was an ambush. When the first Angel came at her she tore into it with a knife she had hidden in her jacket's inner pocket, tearing it to pieces before going for the next one. And the next. She didn't care how many there were, only that she got to kill them. A fire of hatred burned in her for every last one of them, and they all deserved it.

Castiel destroyed as many Demons as Meg killed Angels. It became apparent that the Angels had the upper hand despite the Demons ferocity. They were winning quickly, blood and screams ripping through the air. Castiel didn't love it or hate it, he just didn't care.

That was until he saw Meg.

His emotions didn't turn back on but he felt...like she was important somehow. Like there was a pull towards her, the black eyed Demon ripping into his brethren's flesh. It took him a while to recognize who it was; she was so different like this. _Meg Masters_. The thought of the name made the pull stronger. He couldn't explain it, but knew that if someone helps you, you should do the same. So Castiel approached her, circled around her slowly, knowing that he could easily fly away if she attacked him.

When she spotted him, Meg didn't care that he looked familiar. The part of her that would care was far gone, the Demon the only thing left. She lunged at his neck, wanting to dig her fingernails in until she could rip his windpipe out.

Cas ducked forward and grabbed her by her wrists. She let out a practically inhuman hiss at the contact. They were in the heat of the fray, which wasn't much good for talking. He had to practically drag her away, but somehow the pair escaped the chaos, going a bit into the woods in order to speak. Or that's what Cas had in mind anyway. Thoughts of killing him were taking up space in her mind. She let herself be dragged, sensing that he wouldn't hurt her. She was proved correct when he let go of her hands and turned to her. "Meg?" he asked slowly, but was ready to dodge any attacks.

"Don't touch me," she seethed, "Ever," attempting to punch him hard enough to bust his jaw.

He ducked, but felt that the hit was too close for comfort. He wouldn't have such an advantage here after all. He was almost proud she was such an excellent fighter, just like himself. But it also was annoying his upper hand wasn't so high after all. "Fine. I will not touch you. What did they do to you?"

She smirked, eyes flashing dangerously. "You're a chatty one, aren't you? Well, I'm not." She kicked him hard in the stomach, actually making contact this time and twisting her boot before pulling back again to aim another kick at his knee, hoping to break it.

He grunted and hardly stopped himself from doubling over. Castiel's training kicked back in, making his instincts lightning fast which was the only reason he was able to grab her foot before it struck his knee. He held it higher to throw her off balance, but not high enough to sweep her other foot out from under her. Gritting his teeth at her look of loathing he tried to appeal to the woman he'd known her to be. "Stop trying to hurt me. You won't kill me. You're Meg."

"I've killed several of you before," she declared arrogantly. She twisted her whole body, tossing herself off balance, but making his grip on her foot awkward enough to force his hand to release the hold. Jumping slightly she stopped herself from falling. Going for his throat with the knife this time, she lunged forward the second both feet were on the ground.

Cas jerked back in the nick of time. A hairsbreadth away from his breathing being interrupted by that knife. His fist shot up, the back of it pounding into her hand, flinging the knife away. "Meg, you know me. It's Castiel. Think!"

"How can I think when such a _disgusting_ creature is in my sights?" she taunted.

"No, you don't think that. They think that." _How did they make you think like that? You're so...strong willed_. "And if you can't think in the sight of ugliness then you are nothing."

"Oh, I can think alright. Of ways to kill you," she voiced overly sweet.

Meg dove for the knife, but Castiel swooped in prevented her from taking it, heaving it much further into the trees.

"You're coming with me and I'm going to fix you okay, Meg? Like you did with me. I'm going to fix you," Cas looked at her with kind eyes.

She cackled,"Fix?" Her eyebrows went up like she found that to be the most amusing thing in the world. "You say that like there's something wrong with me."

"There's more than one thing wrong with you," he agreed. "But that's okay." He touched her forehead causing her eyes to roll back, passing out. Her body began to crumple, but he caught her before she could hit the ground. A kind monster no more.

**A/N: Read the chapter title and then the last two words of the chapter. Then roll your eyes.**

**Now to the people soaring ever higher (I'm listening to the song just go with it):**

**barjy02 (What's the matter is that he shut down his emotions. He can't love his family, so that's why he wasn't acting like it. I'm sorry you don't like Chuck and Abaddon :/)**

**Guest (:3 I hope their reunion wasn't disappointing!) **

**Qzil (I'm glad you like the thing, and that you saw the thing too XD)**

**NOW PLAY US OUT KANSAS *BUMBUM BUM BUMBUM BUM BOOOOOOOOOW***


	19. Anthropomorphic of Bloodlust

Castiel got several odd looks as he cared the limp form of Meg back to the teleporter, but he ignored them. When he got back to the Camp, luckily, he was able to avoid his family. However he didn't avoid everyone, running into Samandriel. Samandriel didn't dare question him, but Cas felt the need to explain anyway. "We're taking a hostage...for research purposes," he spoke as he glanced down at Meg. They were all used to the cold, calculating Castiel, so having any level of softness on his face was strange, especially when he looked at the small girl. The _human_ girl. "Samandriel do you mind taking her?" He didn't want to give Meg up, but he would be expected to speak with the troops and his luck had stretched thin already.

"Of-of course not, boss," Samandriel had grown afraid of his boss over the last few months. Actually, he'd never _not_ been afraid since Samandriel had never known a kind Castiel. Samandriel took the girl carefully into his arms, knowing that if she was hurt somehow, he would be too. "Where do you wish to keep her?"

"Take her to my room," Cas instructed with a nod, "she deserves to be comfortable. She was a friend a long time ago. I don't know what they've done to her but I need to reverse it somehow." Again, he wasn't sure why he had the urge to explain himself. He was in charge after all.

Samandriel was glad to hear this. It explained why Castiel suddenly seemed so...not like he would rip someone's head off if they disappointed him. "I'll make sure she is," he promised before doing just that.

Cas went and gathered the others as they all went through the teleporter a small group at a time. Once it seemed like no more would be coming through he allowed himself to think back to the battle that had just taken place. His troops had fought well. "You've all done a good job today." However, that also left his thoughts vulnerable to memories of what he'd done. Guilt flooded him. He'd killed so many people, so, so many...

Wait. He was feeling guilty? But…his emotions were off…Weren't they? Cas didn't know when he'd decided to turn them back on, but it was obvious he had as a storm wracked through him. Not just in this battle. Not just soldiers. He didn't know how he kept a strong face on for the troops when his stomach heaved at the thought of all he had done. Thoughts of all the blood spilled by his hands flooded through his mind. _She would be disappointed._

On the other hand, the soldiers were in a pretty good mood thanks to having won the battle, and it seemed their captain was in a good mood which was always a good thing. He wasn't ever much one for praise, even the small compliment. The celebration was loud, rowdy, and went on for a long time at the Camp. There were tributes to those who had fallen in the battle, but those were the only somber moments.

Cas sat on the sidelines, not drinking or looking excited. At a celebration was the last place he wanted to be. He wanted to be punished for all he had done. He _should_ be punished for all he had done. Cas couldn't go yet though, it would be improper since his troops had dubbed him 'guest of honor'. The troops couldn't understand why their General was looking almost sad as he sat down with his hands crossed as far as he could get without truly leaving.

After what seemed like hours of sulking to Cas, a half-sober Gabriel sat down next to him. "What's with the glum cloud? Allergic to parties?"

"I'm..." he wasn't sure how he could make his brother understand, "I feel terrible for all of the loss here. They've done something to make these people attack us. It wasn't their fault, Gabriel." And that was just the tip of the iceberg. Ironic. When Cas was on Earth and he read about the story of the Titanic, he remembered thinking how foolish it was. If the captain hadn't been vein, wanting to break the record, then the entire disaster could have been avoided. But he hadn't, causing the ship to be weak; and all it took was the littlest thing to plunge the ship into the dark, cold waters. Now Cas was the vein one, thinking he could shut down his emotions without consequences. Without becoming the same cruel monster he'd seen in his mother. The only difference was that he hadn't realized when he'd hit the iceberg, and now he was already sinking.

Gabriel paused, looking over a very different Castiel than he'd gotten to know recently. He remembered when Castiel was little, but hadn't been able to watch him grow up. Gabriel had thought it was just Michael being a total asshat that'd turned Castiel into the ruthless general he was. It wasn't like Gabriel could know if that was in Castiel's nature or not. But for the first time it crossed his mind that maybe it wasn't. "The hells has gotten into you?"

Cas looked at Gabriel with wide blue eyes, not much different from when he'd turned up in Heaven for the first time. Lost. "Nothing. I just feel that all of this death was meaningless and I hate that I let myself grow numb to it."

No. That wasn't Castiel's nature. But what caused the sudden change? Gabriel thought that maybe it was just an off moment. What was he thinking about natures? Those could be genetic, right? Maybe Castiel just hadn't had enough time to adjust like Mom had. Either way, he didn't like his brother obviously hurting. Of course, being Gabriel, dealing with emotion wasn't his strong suit. "Uhh, okaaay? I thought you liked the war? You and mom were doing great! We're winning," he pointed out. That would have to cheer him up! Generals liked winning wars, it was kinda their job.

"No, no I _hate_ war!" Castiel blurted out with underlying anger. "I hate that people have to die for such a stupid cause! There's no point to this, none at all, it's just bloodlust. And-and people that I care about are dying, how could I _like_ this? I know I've become a monster but I've never liked the war." Cas knew he was trying to convince himself as much as Gabriel. But the truth was, he _had_ liked it. He'd liked being the machine. War created orders. Do what you're told. Fight. Win. Don't feel. Take and give orders, or rather, take orders and pass the same ones on. It felt so natural to live like that. Being the good servant. It hadn't mattered that his orders were decimating living creatures. They were orders.

"I'm right there with ya, Cassie," Mother knows I avoid fighting. Doesn't like it either. "But making sure half of our species isn't forced into slavery isn't a stupid cause." _Come on Cassie, stop with this. Feel better._

"No, I know, but there was a nonviolent way! If we had worked on fixing the genetic problems then we wouldn't have had to kill anyone!" Was. Wouldn't have. He didn't believe they could stop this now. Not with Abaddon in power. And they had only fueled the human's hatred with this war. Even without the genetic mutations, it was only natural to hate a creature who had attacked your planet and slayed your kind.

"We've tried. It didn't work," Gabriel reminded him. "Didn't Abaddon tell you that?"

Castiel's feathers stood on end just at the mention of her name. This really wasn't the time to have to think about her. About the things she'd ordered him to do. And about how he'd done them. "Yes, but I don't trust Abaddon."

_We should form a club_. "Why?" While Gabriel agreed, she was their mother, and Castiel hadn't known her very long. Not as long as the rest of them anyway.

"Because she _is_ bloodlust. She wants to kill them all!"

"That's not exactly news. You've never had to have Sunday dinner with her," Gabe rolled his eyes at the memories. More of them than he actually _could_ remember. A smile touched his eyes at how Balt started calling them 'The Weekly Abapocalypse'. "The only one who can usually stop it is Dad."

Cas chewed the idea over. He'd missed so much with his family that he wasn't sure if he would ever be a true part of it. He wasn't sure he wanted to be. Cas sighed, "I should leave, I need to try to fix Meg."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "Who's Meg? Oh, like the human chick you had the hots for when you first got home?" he half-smirked, half-grinned.

"I didn't... have the 'hots' for her. She just helped me out a lot. She is why I don't want to hurt humanity," _anymore_.

Gabe laughed, "Hey, I'm not going to stand in the way of you getting laid. See ya later, Cassie." He stood and brushed off his pants as he sauntered off to fix his half-sober state.

"Getting laid?" Cas called after him as he watched Gabe walk away. "What does that mean? Gabriel?"

**A/N: What a great way to spend class time once I was done with my test. **

**Speaking of great things, to the great people who reviewed my last chapter (50 reviews total now! I would like to thank the academy...):**

**summertime-nephilim (*HIGH FIVE* And thank you :3)**

**barjy02 (I get what you're saying. They definitely have their issues, but they're really fun characters :)**

**Qzil (It was amazingly sweet to send me that *GLOMP*)**

**Is anyone else a fan of M.I.A.? I've just been listening to her all day.**


	20. For, Like, Twenty Hours!

Cas decided that before he could return to Meg, he should get her things. The teleport was practically abandoned, not that he would need to do more than order them to let him use it, but he was still glad he wouldn't be raising any questions. Once on Earth, he flew to her apartment to pick up Persephone and Sam, but was surprised to see Anna. It wasn't so much that he'd forgotten about her, just that it hadn't crossed his mind that Meg might have actually gotten ahold of her.

When he opened the door Anna immediately jumped up from where she'd been watching a movie on the couch. Fear read in her eyes, until she recognized who it was. "Castiel?! What are you doing here?" Anna gasped.

"I was getting Meg's things," he explained, smiling at his sister, "But I should take you home as well. It's been too long, Anna."

"It's so great to see you," Anna beamed, running over to hug him tightly.

Samandriel the cat slinked over and rubbed his head up against Cas' leg, purring. _I knew you would come back_.

Cas smiled at them both. "It's great to see you as well, and him too." Cas picked up Samandriel and spoke right to him, "You know I have a soldier with the same name? Who names their child cat?"

_Well you named a cat 'cat', _Samandriel pointed out.

"True," Cas chuckled before turning his attention back to his sister. "Ready to finally go home, Anna?"

Anna looked him dead in the eye when she answered, "Hell no. I'm not getting involved in this war. It's been horrible trying to stay out of it already!"

Cas hadn't been expecting _that_ answer at all. "Yes, and I'm not going to drag you into it. However, I can at least make sure you're safe on Heaven."

She shook her head. That was still much too close. "Once the war is over, you know where to find me. For now I'm staying with Sam and Persephone."

He sighed, "I need to take Persephone with me. I should probably take Sam too, I don't want him getting hurt, or you for that matter. That's why I'm in the war, to try to stop the casualties. It just... got too much after a while." It wasn't that he was particularly unknown, and considering how the TV was still spewing 'news' he didn't think for a second that Anna wouldn't know at least some of the things he'd done.

Anna confirmed the notion when she told him, "I saw. There's this amazing thing called the news. You've been on it quite a bit. Seems the humans are rather scared of you. I get why you're talking Sam, but why Persephone?" She wasn't too happy to be losing her friends, but if Cas wanted Sam there was no way she could stop him. Persephone, on the other hand, was Meg's, and Meg had left her in charge of the snake.

"Because I found Meg," he answered, "They've done something terrible to her. I think that Persephone might be able to help her like she did before."

While Anna had heard of Castiel, she hadn't gotten half a word about what happened to Meg. At least she was still alive, that was a start. "What'd they do? I haven't seen her for almost a year when she was dragged out kicking and screaming."

Cas didn't like to think about it. She had been so kind before, what _could_ they have possibly done to her? "I don't know, but she tried to kill me and...she seemed completely demonic." That was the only way he knew to explain it. She was now completely the monster she'd tried so hard to fight. It twisted his stomach to say it, confirm it. Before it had almost seemed like it was just a thought, now it was the true, harsh reality.

Anna paused. "Yeah, I'll get the snake."

She came back a few minutes later with Persephone's tank. Persephone was sleeping soundly inside. She'd been woken when Anna first lifted the tank, but after Anna explained what was going on, Persephone had simply laid her head back down.

"Please come with me, Anna. I promise you won't be involved. But I can't promise your safety here," Cas tried again. There was a time when they'd been the only family each other had, and leaving her for the first time had been hard enough. He didn't want to do it again, especially not during what was going on.

"I am _so_ not going anywhere _near_ mother during a war," she shook her head again, too stubborn for her own good, "I'm _fine_ here, Cas. So go."

He didn't like this, but was kind of use to stubborn gingers by now. Cas set Sam down, knowing he would follow, and took Persephone's tank. "Alright, but be careful, Anna."

Anna side-hugged him awkwardly, but firmly. "You too, Cas. You're the one in the fire."

_I've already been burned. _"I will," he nodded.

Once he got back to Heaven he snuck back into his tent with the tank in hands and Sam following behind. He had to walk around the edge of the Camp in order to avoid the animal's being spotted, and while it wasn't the most time efficient path, it suited his goal.

Meg was lounging on his bed, tossing something up and catching it over and over. She didn't acknowledge his presence in anyway, but she looked when he set Persephone next to her on the nightstand. The snake, no longer sleeping thanks to several loud fireworks, looked at her owner with delight.

"Get that thing away from me," Meg scoffed.

Persephone looked hurt and actually rather annoyed. What the hell was her owner smoking?

"If you insist," Cas said in disappointment, but didn't make a move to do so at the moment. "I want to know what they've done to you."

Samandriel watched her from afar, not coming any closer. He still remembered the drowning comment, and it scared him to see Meg treat Persephone in such a way. He knew this wasn't the Meg he'd been taken care of by after Cas had went on vacation.

"They've either bleed, hurt, or died. Depends on who you're talking about," Meg smiled in that falsely sweet way of hers as she sat up to face him, hands clutching the side of the bed.

"I didn't ask what you did to others," he narrowed his eyes "I asked what they did to you to make you like this."

"Like what? Like how I was born?" she tilted her head sharply, eyes unblinking. Mocking.

"No, you weren't like this last year."

"This is the only time that matters," she glared, but it was almost more like she was repeating something she'd been told. Over and over and over...

He furrowed his eyebrows, "No, it's not. Do you remember me, Meg?" Something was so wrong here it was mind boggling. What could someone possibly have done to her to make her like _this_? Not just a Demon, but...a robot. She might as well have been in black and white, all her vibrancy was gone. It made him sick.

"You're someone I met before," _duh, _she rolled her eyes. "But it doesn't matter _who_ you are. What matters is that you're an Angel and I haven't killed you. Yet."

"Oh Meg," he shook his head slowly with a frown as he gazed at her. "What have they done to you?" it seemed it was the only thing he was capable of asking. "You were so very kind."

"Don't insult me like that," she sneered. "I'm a Demon. A kind Demon is a useless one."

"No, you were more like a human. Or at least you were trying. But if you insist I won't call you kind." It was strainge to think of 'human' as a compliment, but seeing the alternative, he liked the human Meg much more. He almost smiled at the realization, but refrained so he wouldn't have to explain. When he'd known her, Meg had been trying to be human, but in reality, she already was. She'd accomplished her goal just by trying to reach for it, and it took him seeing this monster to realize it. He wondered if she ever would. If she would ever return to the humanity that made her thrive.

She looked up at him, eyes black, they always were nowadays. "What game are you playing?"

"What do you mean? I'm not playing any kind of game."

It didn't click. She didn't like something...so why would he stop? Wouldn't he do that _more_ to anger her? "I don't believe you." An Angel being kind must always be playing some kind of game; have some kind of angle.

"You don't believe me," he observed. Her all black eyes were somehow still expressive. He wondered if that was true for all Demons. _A goddess among humans, _he thought back to his parting words. Maybe she was a goddess among Demons as well. "What could I possibly be doing to hurt you?"

She pondered it for a moment. "Nothing yet. That's why it has to be some form of trick."

He looked her right in those eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to come in and bring you food and water every day. If you want me to take away Persephone and Samandriel, I will and you can stay here. But you can't leave this tent without my permission, you won't physically be able to."

"I know, I've tried," she grumbled.

_Of course you would have, _he thought fondly. Meg would never go down without a fight. How hard did they have to fight back to break her?

"And I'll have to deal with _you_ every day. Fantastic," she glared at him spitefully.

"Yes, you will. I'm sorry about that, but I really missed you and I'm selfish." _And I'm going to help you, like it or not._

"Surprise, surprise. I haven't missed you a bit."

"That's because they did something to you. Goodbye Meg, I'll see you tomorrow." He set a tray of Phydusian food next to her. "You always asked what it tasted like. I hope you like it, I made it myself so that no one knows I'm keeping you alive."

"If they find out will they be kind enough to kill me so I won't have to deal with you anymore?" she asked with faux peppiness, and an equally big grin to match.

"No. they'll probably do experiments on you until you're weak and they deem you useless. Then they'll probably just let you starve to death. I don't want that so eat well and I will see you tomorrow."

"Until then, good riddance."

Cas gave a short, awkward wave and lifted Persephone's tank, walking out with Sam at his heels. He'd have to return them both to Anna now. "I'm sorry about her," said Cas, mouth set in a grim line, "she doesn't mean it."

Sam was so glad to have Cas back. He'd missed his owner terribly and couldn't imagine what it must be like for Persephone to have her owner suddenly hate her.

_What was_ wrong _with her? _Persephone asked, miffed.

"They hurt her," he said, trying to think of how to explain it in a way they would understand, "in the head I think. She can't love anymore."

_Cas? Why do humans eyes leak? _Sam questioned. Persephone rolled her eyes at him. Or, at least, the snake equivalent of doing so.

"Because they're sad," he answered "and Angels do the same thing when their soul mate or loved one dies." Cas wished he could stroke the cat's fur, he'd missed the little fuzz ball.

Sam's eyes went wide with horror. _So Meg's soul mate died?!_

"No. She's not an Angel, so she was just very sad. When...When was she crying?" When would Sam of had the opportunity to see her cry? Surely it wouldn't have been after she was taken, like Anna had said. So it couldn't have been about whatever they had done to her.

_When you went away. She held me too tight and cried a lot. For, like, twenty hours! _Sam squelched.

_More like _two_ hours_ Persephone corrected.

The edges of Cas' mouth twitched downward. "I didn't mean to make her sad."

_You left, you idiot. What did you expect? _Persephone gave him a dirty look.

"I...I don't know, she was very kind but we weren't particularly close. I won't leave her again whether she wants me or not."

Persephone didn't say anything, but didn't seem pleased with him. Not that he would know, but she blamed him for this happening to Meg. She figured that if Cas hadn't left, Meg wouldn't have either.

_I thought you two were married? _Sam was highly confused.

Cas raised an eyebrow as he glanced down at the cat, walking right beside him now, slightly too close. "No, I was her servant."

_So basically married, _Persephone concluded.

**A/N: I am so sorry for not getting this up sooner! If people who don't follow me on tumblr (megsblood btw if you were wondering) then the reason I haven't updated in 4 days is because this weekend was Courtwarming (the Homecoming for basketball) and that was crazy, and then yesterday I found a new youtube series and got distracted. Anyway, I tried to make this chapter extra long to help make up for it!**

**Now a Courtwarming size thank you to:**

**barjy02 (Gabe is definitely a fun character! And Chuck will definitely come back later too :)**

**So nobody cares, but at every school dance I have requested Barbie Girl by Aqua just to see if they'd play it AND THEY FINALLY DID WOO! Anyway, reviews are always nice :D, but thanks for just reading! Chapter 20 oh my Chuck...**


	21. Spaghetti Casualties

Castiel went to his mother's quarters and knocked. It would be rude to just barge in, and he wasn't suicidal.

"Come in," she called, in a good mood for Abaddon, which would be a bad mood for pretty much everyone else.

"Hello, boss," he greeted her. That's all she was to him. Boss, not mother. Never mother. "I want to know the plans," Castiel informed her briskly. Straight to business. Abaddon was never one for formalities beforehand.

"You'll know when it's important for you to," she brushed him off.

"You mean when you need me to get rid of some vermin? I need to know, Abaddon." There was something in his voice that hadn't ever been before when speaking with her. Challenge. Not simply agreeing to her orders.

Abaddon finally looked up at him, and looked him over disdainfully. "Oh. You've decided to feel again, have you? What changed your mind?"

"Meg is dead," he lied smoothly. If Abaddon found out the truth, for lack of a better term, she'd be pissed. And again, he wasn't suicidal. "I was a good commander like that, but a terrible person…and a terrible friend."

"It's war, casualties happen," she answered flippantly. "Did _you_ kill her?"

He sighed shakily as if he had. It was a good story, a good reason why he'd turned his emotions back on. One that Abaddon wouldn't, and couldn't, poke too far into. "It doesn't matter. I need to know the plans."

Abaddon looked him in the eye thoughtfully, and Castiel got the district sense that he was being evaluated. "We're going to fake them out. Barely give it anything for about a month. They get comfortable, think they're winning. Then will annihilate them. Do you have a _problem_ with that?" she challenged.

Strategically, it was a good plan. That wasn't what concerned him, but the way she'd phrased it. "Not unless annihilate includes something other than their army." Armies sign up to fight, civilians don't. That was how he'd justified this to himself at first, and how he'd have to now. Cas knew he was in too deep to quit. And that if he did, Abaddon wouldn't have _any_ form of conscience.

"Of course not," she smiled tightly.

He wanted to believe her, so he did, but he also knew he'd have to keep a close eye on things so she wouldn't 'change her mind.' "Then of course I am fine with it."

Abaddon didn't really care if he approved or not, but at least it would get him off her back for a while. "Good. You're dismissed," she told him like she'd summoned him there in the first place.

He offered her a terse nod and flew back to their house in the city. It was a bit of a journey, but worth the distance in order to keep Meg in his tent back at the Camp. He would rather keep Meg at the house in the city, but considering Chuck still lived there he couldn't. On the other hand, he could lie that he simply liked home better and that's why he would be sleeping there from then on. Chuck didn't mind seeing his son more often one bit.

In the morning Castiel got up extra early in order to return to Earth. Anna was surprised to see him again so soon, and only slightly annoyed at the hour.

"What's up, early bird?"

"I am not a bird?" he tilted his head in confusion.

Anna rolled her eyes, "Why are you here Cas? Going to take Sam and Persephone again?"

"No. I wish to make human food for Meg. It is impossible to find on Heaven."

"Have at it, I'm going back to sleep," Anna yawned.

It wasn't long until Cas was going back to Meg's tent.

However, when he found her she was sickly pale and in a cold sweat. She was asleep, but thrashing around like she was having a particularly violent nightmare.

Cas set the plate of food on the nightstand and spoke to attempt to wake her. Maybe the noise would bring her out of it, like those annoying beeping clocks they had on Earth. "Meg? Are you okay?"

Meg didn't wake up, or rather it seemed like she couldn't.

He frowned and put his hand on her shoulder, knowing very well how dangerous it was. "Meg?"

Her eyes shot open as the dream was completely erased from her mind, just like they all were, but she could feel the after effects of the fear. She wasn't supposed to. He'd woken her too soon. "The hell?" she gasped looking around trying to figure out where she was. What was going on. Why she was so afraid.

He stepped back a little bit as his hand pulled quickly back away from her. "You had a nightmare. I'm sorry to wake you, but I made you food."

"I don't dream," she snapped at him.

"Why do you say that?" he asked. It was an odd thing to be so forceful about. "Though I do agree, that was no dream."

Fear burned away into anger. "There wasn't _anything_. I just don't dream." Why was he questioning this? It was a fairly simple notion that even his mind should have been able to grasp.

"I don't know why you wouldn't," he said "you brain still works the same way as any regular human. And I don't know why you'd be experiencing sleep paralysis if you weren't dreaming."

"I just...don't. I haven't for over a year. Why am I even telling you this?" She shot him a glare for good measure.

Cas held up his hands as if in surrender. "There's no reason to be hostile; I'm not going to hurt you. Maybe that's how they're controlling you," he mused."It seems logical, but I'm not sure. I'm no scientist."

Meg rolled her eyes. Controlled? Bitch, please."I'm _not_ being controlled!"

He didn't believe that for a second. "Then why have things changed so much in the past year, Meg? You would never hurt me before."

"There _is_ no before!" she insisted. "I don't even know who you _are_!"

"What do you mean there's no before, Meg? Do you think you were born last year?" Cas asked, truly concerned. Meg seemed to have at least known they had been previously acquainted yesterday; now did she even know how old she was?

"I'm not stupid," she hissed. "There's no before for us! I didn't know you before you captured me."

He smiled apologetically. "No, you're not stupid. They've just done something to you. And yes, I knew you before this, I was your Angel. Your servant," he clarified.

"No you weren't. I wouldn't have let you survive that." Her eyes held a strange quality in them. Somewhere between pleasure, fury, and unsettling calmness.

"Yes. You weren't always so brutal, Meg." Cas kept saying her name, as if reminding her of it would somehow remind her of herself. Who she had been. His flower among thorns.

"I know myself, thanks."

"No you don't," he sighed, coming back from his reflection, "What do you remember?"

"Guess what? I don't have to answer to _you_."

"No you don't," he agreed. He wasn't sure what to do, but supposed it was probably time to call Ash again. "I'll be back, eat your food, you always did love my spaghetti."

**A/N: I'm kind of in shock this story has made it to 21 chapters! I just...wow...Thank you all so much for sticking with it this long!**

**And special thanks to:**

**barjy02 (Yep, we have that expression in English. You speak French? That's so cool!)**

**Guest (:3 Thank you bunches and bunches!)**

**Qzil (The 'for lack of a better word' line was totally inspired by your review XD)**

**It's funny, I already had the Doc uploaded to when I went back to try to find a title in the chapter, and I had to reupload it to add the "So basically married" part, and now I'm glad I did!**

**And I have the song that's like I GET KNOCKED DOWN, I GET UP AGAIN, AIN'T NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN, I GET KNOCKED DOWN... stuck in my head so I hope this got in in someone elses' head too so I'm not alone.**


	22. Demon in a Cage

The constant travel between the Camp, home, and Meg's apartment on Earth was becoming irritating, but only one of those three places had a phone that he knew of that could call someone on Earth. So again, he went through the teleport, hid his wings under the trench coat, and went to the apartment. He knew he was slightly short with Anna, but he wanted to hurry, and the necessary traveling wasn't helping there. Luckily, Ash picked up on the first ring, "No Jim, I don't have your money yet!"

"You say that every time I call you," he observed. "No, it's Castiel."

That...was a relief. Maybe. Depending on what Cas wanted. "Oh. Alrigh' then, what's up Cas?"

"Remember when I told you about Meg?" he explained the situation as best as he could considering the holes in his knowledge of it. Anyone else would probably have told him at some point to slow down, he was talking too fast, but Ash kept up just fine; which was a relief for Cas. He didn't know if he _could_ slow down. Worry laced his voice, and made the tempo too quick for him to hide it if he'd wanted to. He hadn't though. He wanted Ash to know just how serious this was. His Meg was in trouble, and this was the only plan he had. Ash could _not_ fall through.

Ash listened intently. He hadn't stayed out of the war as much as Anna had, but he didn't think home knew about his friends. How the hell hunters had ended up in the category of 'friends' to him was still...well, they had good taste in whisky, and for some reason decided to listen. However, if Heaven had heard about that at all..."Be right there. Haven't been home in a while. Abaddon still a major bitch? Have to avoid 'er."

"She's my mother, Ash. But...yes, that would be wise. Thank you, it'll be good to see you as well."

"Good to see you too, man," Ash grinned from behind him, shutting off his phone by flipping it shut. He could have one of the nice smart phones if he wanted, he had sticky enough fingers, but you couldn't flip those shut to end a call. He'd miss the dramatic touch too much to 'upgrade'.

Cas was startled, but not unhappy as he turned around. "How is that possible?"

"What? Teleportation without the big circle thing? I got an ap for it. Here," he tossed Cas his phone, "Been meaning to get a new one anyway," another flip phone of course. "Think a where you wantta go and press five. It makes some numbers a bitch though."

Ash grabbed his arm as Castiel concentrated on right outside of his tent, in the back of course so they'd be less likely to be seen just appearing. _That_ would raise questions he didn't need. He opened his eyes a bit nauseated, but saw that it worked, so the roller coaster stomach feeling was worth it.

"Meg's in there. Although she'll kill you if she sees you now." Or probably attempt to anyway.

"That's why I brought this," Ash held up a syringe with clear liquid inside. "Put her right to sleep."

Cas nodded and took the syringe, and he disappeared into the tent. Meg was pacing back and forth across the floor with a very feline quality to her steps. _Like a caged animal. _He felt a brief flicker of guilt for doing this to her, but he knew it was for her own good whether she could realize that or not.

"What do you wa-" she started to snap, but he quickly injected her with the knockout formula; in the middle of her words, her eyes rolled up and she crumpled. He caught her and laid her out on the bed efficiently. Cas hated her resemblance to a corpse, and he promised himself that that _would never_ happen to her under his watch. He refused to let it, no matter the cost. He owed her that much.

It took only a second and when he returned to Ash, Cas informed him that "She is asleep. We can go in now." He was being too formal and he knew it, but he suddenly felt in such a rush, and the nerves always did this to him. A corpse.

_What if she makes herself one to escape? _The thought shot through him like a bolt of lightning. She couldn't possibly hate it that much. Could she? He remembered the look of her of just a few moments before. How far would that animal go? Could it kill the human beneath it's skin?

Ash strolled in and looked over her already pale form, twitching slightly in her sleep. "Hold her still while I draw blood," he instructed Cas, his true intelligence showing in his eyes as he got out another syringe. If it was anyone else Cas would question why he was keeping medical syringes in his pockets, and shouldn't he keep them in a special container or something? But, of course, this was Ash, so he knew what he was doing.

Cas nodded and held her arm still with strong hands; one above the elbow, and one below. Though he had to be firm to hold her still, he still tried to be gentle, not wanting to hurt her. He even looked warily at Ash as if he were worried he might do something worse to the girl. It was bizarre how fragile Meg looked while asleep.

Ash drew the blood without a hitch, and tucked it away so he could analyze it later. "Now let's see what's goin' on in that head a hers'." He sat on the bed next to her and rested his hands at her temples to see into her dreams. Assuming she was having one.

Inside Meg's mind, another, more twisted version of Castiel ripped into Meg's flesh with a cold knife. "You thought you'd make it out this time?" he taunted in a sickening sweet voice. "Poor little Demon in a cage."

Meg screamed in the dream, though it didn't come out in real life. Ash pulled away with wide eyes expecting to hear it continue. The sudden stop was startling. "Dude, her unconscious really doesn't like you."

What did it matter if she liked him or not? Was she okay? Ash, that's what's important. "They've done something to her. What can we do to help _that_?"

"I'm a genius, not a miracle worker," his head gave a quick shake. "I'll call ya when I figure it out...probably tomorra."

He nodded, hating having to wait. "Thank you, Ash."

"I'd check out that dream if I were you," was Ash's last piece advice for the time being.

**A/N: I really hope there's a snow day tomorrow because we were promised so much more snow than we've gotten and I haven't done my homework because I was working on this instead like "pft, snow day tomorrow anyway" LIKE COME ON WEATHER!**

**ANYWAY A snow storm size thank you to:**

**barjy02 (That's so cool! I'm horrible at learning languages, my Spanish grade is proof XD)**

**True Love's Kis5 (She is quite the character XD)**

**So if you want to be on this awesome list next time, you know what to do! I really want to say review right now just because it rhymes but that's cheesy...REVIEW! **


	23. All Hope Abandoned

(A/N: I usually don't put A/Ns at the beginning of chapters, but the 3rd paragraph is a gory description of the effects of torture on Meg. Some people might not think it's that bad, but I had to put a warning here. You can skip the paragraph and the rest of the chapter will still make sense.)

Cas waited until Ash was gone before taking his place on the side of her bed and resting his plans against her temples. Closing his eyes he found himself in her dream. It was dark, and he wondered how he could possibly see as a chocking blackness was the only thing in any direction. No, not any direction. In the small bit of visibility which he stood, Cas looked around and saw something that he didn't quite like. Himself. There was a commanding, horrendous thing; he hoped he wasn't like that-and it was hurting Meg. His Meg.

It was like she was tied against the darkness with holds of the black itself. Her wrists and ankles tied making it impossible for her to fight back. He hated to see that it didn't appear she was even trying. She was naked and shivering against the bitter cold that laced the air.

There was hardly any pale flesh left that wasn't home to a bruise, scar, or fresh cut. Lip and nose bleeding, right eye freshly blackened, while it seemed like the left eye was healing from one. They were both still Demon black. Meg's neck had several shards of glass sticking out randomly from her wind pipe along with lines that looked suspiciously like rope burn. He wouldn't have been able to place where her belly button or nipples had been as so much skin had been ripped away from her torso, one breast entirely sawn off. The bones in her ankles and one knee all showed clearly, while the other knee was angled unnaturally. Some of the wounds looked fresh, but others looked as if they'd been done months ago. Flesh rotting on the living being. If it wasn't a dream she would have been long dead.

However, it was a dream, so she didn't get that mercy. Cas found himself thinking back to the corpse she had looked like while asleep, and suddenly wished for that instead.

Cas felt fury beat through him. The fact that anyone would put Meg through this made him want to hunt down anyone who ever had anything to do with it and give them Abaddon level punishment. He rushed forward to where he was face to face with the other version of himself and snapped his own neck.

Turning towards her, Cas realized he had no idea what to do to help her. Could he wake her up maybe? But how would he do that and not get trapped inside the dream? And if he left to wake her, would something else come to hurt her? Letting her go through this for even one more second made him want to strangle the other version of himself again and again and again. No, he couldn't leave her. Not even for a single heart beat.

Meg watched him the whole time. "No, no, not another one. Don't hurt me again, please!" she sobbed. She knew it was useless though. Whenever another one was sent, he was always worse than the one before. How they sustained her so she was still able to move, speak, _breath_ like none of it was happening she had never been able to figure out. Not that it really mattered. However they managed to still allow her to scream in Hell wasn't one of her big concerns.

Cas shook his head, "I'm not going to hurt you." He shook his head again slowly. He wanted to help her so badly he could almost cry because he couldn't. "I just want to talk with you. I'm not him, I swear I'm not." Talk. Stay. Make sure nothing else came to make it worse. It was hardly a fraction of what he wanted, but it was the only thing he could do.

_The liar_. She'd met this one before. Mr. I-don't-want-to-hurt-you. She hated him most of all because he gave her hope, and then he took it away. Took it away by literally ripping her heart out and making her watch it beat. "I don't believe you! Not again! NO!"

"Meg, I'm not going to hurt you!" He put his hands up, even stepping back from her. Anything to make her not look at him with that fear. "I promise."

"Then go away! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! PROVE IT! go away" her voice disintegrated into a desperate sob. She remembered when it first started happening. When she would fight, and make snarky comments, when she'd taunt them, tell them it didn't' really hurt. She wished she could return to that, be that person again. But they'd carved that out of her so long ago she wasn't even sure who that person was anymore.

`"If I leave they'll send another one of those things. I don't want you to hate me, Meg, but I can't let them hurt you."

Oh yeah. Meg. That was that girl's name. "How could I _not_?"

When he saw the defeat in her eyes he knew he had to wake her up. He couldn't leave her in this nightmare realm. But time is different in dreams. In the few seconds it would take him to open his eyes and wake her...who knows what they could do. "I don't know. But I've never hurt you. They just make you think that I do." And yet he was still selfish enough to not want her to hate him.

"You always hurt me," she glared weakly; despise radiating off her, but now he understood. "You and all the other Angels. But especially _you_." _The liar. The liar. The liar._

"No," Castiel glanced around. "This isn't a safe place to talk, Meg, they could be listening." He licked his lips absentmindedly as an idea raced through his head. She was expecting pain when he put the blade so close to her wrists, but instead of cutting her, he sliced through the bonds. Cas didn't dare to try to cut her ankles free, but instead, flipped the Angle blade and extended the handle to her. "Take this. If I come at you again, stab me. As many times as you want."

She looked between the blade and looked him in confusion. He...couldn't possibly be..._helping_ her? _The liar. The liar. The liar? _She didn't reach for it. This was a trick. This had to be a trick!

"Take it, Meg. I'll drop it on the floor if you don't trust me."

"Do it," she hissed. "I'll _never_ trust you."

He opened his hand and dropped the knife on the floor. He refused to even do it carefully, Cas didn't want to move more than necessary, just in case she thought he was making a move to harm her. "Understandable." Cas stepped back so that she could bend grab the blade. It was gruesome to watch someone with so much missing bend over, but at least nothing...fell out. "But you must know, this is a dream that they're forcing you to have and I would never hurt you. I'll protect you, I promise."

She grabbed the knife quickly, looking back up at him in confusion. "I...did...know you once. Didn't I?" The memories were foggy in her head, she couldn't quite catch them, but...they were there, she could feel them there. How did she forget that she knew him?

Cas wanted to smile, but didn't in case she saw the expression wrong. Happy about something twisted. Though that didn't stop his eyes from showing the smile. "Yes. I was your servant. We were friends but they've twisted your memories of me with these dreams. Fight back, Meg. I'm not the monster, they are."

"They?" she shook her head like that would make things snap into place. "Who's they?"

"I'm not sure. The people who did this to your mind. Keep the blade, and I'll be back tomorrow. Promise."

_The liar?_

When the next torturer came, she was able to fight back.

**A/N: Wither you read that paragraph or not, I still hope you enjoyed the chapter! Even though it was painful to write (MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGG)**

**Anyway, to my FANTASMARKABLE (yes, I did just make up a word) reviewers:**

**barjy02 (I'm glad :D Ash is so much fun to watch on the show, and write too!)**

**TwoSisters1213 (OMC THANK YOU! *GLOMP* And I totally had zero inspiration to write today, and then I saw your review, and it's the entire reason this was posted today, just so you know)**

**See? Reviews really can make me update faster :D So if you want the next chapter sooner rather than later you know what that box is for! (That totally just made me think of the Ghostfacers and the part where "see that little box right there?")**


	24. Fruit Loops and a Good Bye

Cas shook Meg awake rougher than he probably should have, but he was in such a rush he couldn't be gentle. The second her eyes opened Cas practically sprinted out of the tent. He didn't think he could deal with seeing her hatred of him at the moment.

Gabriel paused when saw Cas shoot out of his tent looking unhinged. "Hey Cassie, why do you look a few Fruit Loops short of a bowl of cereal?" Gabe asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked his brother over.

Cas cursed his luck in his mind. At the exact opposite moment of when he wanted to see anybody, here his brother was. And of course, Gabriel couldn't even be bothered to make sense. "What? What are Fruit Loops?"

"_You_ lived on Earth, and even I get that reference you don't?"

"I lived on Earth as a _slave_," Castiel reminded him, but then realized he wasn't supposed to say that, and looked around momentarily to make sure no one had overheard. But of course, someone had. Why was _now_ apparently the perfect moment to walk in front of his tent? It wasn't usually a common path!

Samandriel, the Angel, not the cat, froze in his trek with a startled expression. Curiosity overrode cation after a moment of inner debate. "You...really? Were one of _them_?" he asked hesitantly.

Cas briefly wondered why he was so hesitant to tell anyone about this, and then it hit him. Of course. Abaddon's words still floated in his mind, making him even more disappointed in himself for so blindly following her while without emotion. _If they know one was let go, they might think it's possible all humans would let their slaves go. Best not to tell. _He nodded, refusing to heed to the words any longer, "Yes. Does that surprise you?"

"Well, yeah-No offence! But...I mean. How'd you even get back home?" Samandriel was still slightly afraid of his boss. He did his best not to show it, but the stuttering quality to his voice, and his sweaty palms gave him away.

Cas didn't like being feared. He wasn't Abaddon, and he didn't like having almost the same effect she had. What if he hadn't ran into Meg? Would he eventually get the exact same reaction as Abaddon when he passed someone? Would he have ended up liking it? "I was inherited by a new human, who treated me like a human, and sent me back home. They're not all evil. In fact, I assume that most of them are very kind." Not to Angels, but maybe kind to each other. He'd seen that a few times, but hadn't thought much on it before. Meg had changed that. He was noticing more and more that she'd changed a lot of things.

"Then why do they do that to us?" bafflement was clear on Samandriel's face. Gabriel's expression was void of emotion, but his eyes showed the gears turning in his mind, not that he'd ever let anyone notice.

"Because they've been genetically changed to hate us," Castiel explained. He wanted to tell both of them how the war was a hainus act that needed to be stopped, he trusted them, but if that somehow got back to Abaddon, if someone else decided now was the perfect time to pop up, Cas knew he'd be gone in a second. Along with any last shred of conscious in the war effort; so out of obligation he added, "It's not their fault but we still can't let ourselves be taken advantage of. It wasn't pleasant."

"That's...horrible...for both sides," Samandriel shook his head in disbelief, eyes wide. "It's not right that they're dying for something they can't help!"

"I know," Cas said with a frown, "which is why I started...attempting to calm Abaddon down."

"That's's a good idea," Samandriel agreed. He'd never liked war, if it weren't for his father he wouldn't even be there, but no one needed to know that.

"We should probably get to work," Gabriel finally spoke up.

Cas was sceptical. _Gabriel_ suggesting work of any kind was suspicious. "Abaddon won't tell me what on though," Cas countered, just to see what Gabe's response would be.

Unforchantly for his plan, it was Samandriel who replied with, "You're not the only one. It seems like no one knows her plans. It's very confusing! It's like she's _letting_ the Angel's get slaughtered."

"I don't know what's going on but I should talk to her again."

"Agreed, little bro," Gabe concurred. "Besides, can't chat all day. Got places to be."

Castiel was _not_ in a mood to see his boss, but situation sometimes outweighed personal preference, and this was one of those times. He stopped at Abaddon's door, knocking carefully. Of course she wouldn't have a tent like the rest of them. No, she was the general, she had a proper house.

"What?" Abaddon snapped. There was the muffled sound of Chuck's soothing voice before, "I mean...come in!" Abaddon added begrudgingly.

Cas walked inside stiffly. "Hello, Chuck," he greeted his father. "Abaddon."

"Hey Cas," Chuck smiled. "Do you want me to leave you two alone to talk?"

"No, it's fine," he looked at his father fondly. "You can stay. I just wanted to talk to Abaddon about how she's letting Angels die."

Abaddon finally looked up from the map she was studying, annoyance on her face as easy to read as the parchment under her finger tips. "_What?_"

_Don't pretend like you don't know._ "Either that or you're a terrible strategist."

She rolled her eyes angrily. Only Abaddon could make a gesture usually reserved for teenage girls into something fit for someone who could, and often did, rip her enemies apart limb from limb with perfectly manicured, red fingernails. "I told you I would do this, let the humans think they were winning. You said you didn't have a problem with it!"

"I don't have a problem with the idea, but with the execution of it. You're letting us die. Why not just retreat?" Castiel countered.

"Because if we do that they'll suspect something. We need to give them a reason _why_ we retreat. After a couple more days that's what will happen," her tone was frosted with the obvious hint of 'you idiot'. Like Castiel simply didn't understand her style or something? Like she wasn't letting her own people die? Like it was a concern equally to 'why do you curl your hair'.

Cas was in disbelief. "_They'll suspect something? _People are _dying_ you're not thinking of them as individuals! You preferred it when I would kill mindlessly!" The last bit slipped without him meaning for it to be spoken, but it was out there, unable to be taken back.

"Yes. Of course," Abaddon nodded like that was obvious.

"Why?" Would you want your own son to be a monster?

_Because she's one, _the voice in his mind wasn't his own, but he couldn't quite place the speaker of the faint snippet of thought. Honestly it could have been anyone who had ever met her.

"Because," Chuck spoke up, "when your mother set's her mind on a goal, she tends to be a bit tunnel visioned." Abaddon glared at him, but Chuck shrugged, "It's the truth."

"And you can't sacrifice family _or_ your people for it! You've been put in charge of them for a reason!" Cas felt outrage pumping in his veins every time his heart continued to make his blood flow. Fists balled so tight even his dull nails were almost drawing the mixture.

Abaddon resented the day she'd ever given birth to such a disobedient creature. _This isn't your place, Castiel! When will you learn that?!_ "A few now, less later. You can't expect to fight a war without casualties!"

"There's no _need_ for this!" his voice was rising, but he didn't care. Let everyone know! Maybe the soldiers would cut off the head of this hydra.

Cas remembered the story of the hydra vaguely. A creature that a brave knight slaughtered. But was it by chopping off the head or piercing it's heart? Cas was pretty sure it was the head. _Let her be the hydra and I'll chop off her head myself._

"It's not on _your_ shoulders' to save a species, Castiel! If you don't like it than you can be relieved of your duties and be sent _home_!" Abaddon threatened. She was so close to forgetting these 'last warnings'. He would be _gone_ if he kept this up. She inhaled and exhaled loudly. The movement didn't show as one of calming, but rather like a dragon sucking air before it spouts fire.

Cas' storm seemed to hit a roof, and he suddenly became the ice to her fire. Chuck sat quietly in the corner. "You have no morals anymore, so now that _is_ on my shoulders. And I'll give you an ultimatum, _mother_, because you seem to be good with those. You can either break apart our family and your species, or you can actually let me do my job."

The entire room, entire Camp, entire planet, seemed to chill when Abaddon's eyes squinted at him calculatingly. "You're right. You do need to do your job. _Your job_ is to make sure the orders I give are executed properly. _Your job_ is to do as I say. So yes, Castiel, start doing _your job_!"

"Yes, and my job is also to advize you. This should not be all on your shoulders." No being should have that much power.

Was the thing that drugged the humans and the Angels so long ago alone like this? Insane in power? One being to start it all?

"We live in a world of what is, not what should be." _But this time, they're one and the same._

"Because you're holding on too tight. Let me help you." He had said it scathingly, but earlier, he _had_ called her 'mother', and he was glad for it. A reminder of what is. _You're my mother, and if you let me I _will_ help you. _His mother was a hydra, but his mother none the same.

"Castiel," Abaddon spoke, "when are you going to learn that no one wants your help?"

Well. That hurt. Maybe a lot, but he guessed that was the point. "No one has ever told me that, not directly anyway. There was always something that I was needed for. And I don't think for a second it's any different here. The only difference is that you're afraid to ask for it."

Her voice was harder, "Did I stutter?"

"No, why would you stutter?"

"There had to be some reason you didn't understand me. So what was it?" she asked in the same bland tone as when she spoke before, but then the emotion returned, "I'll make sure I don't make the same mistake when I tell you to fuck off!"

Castiel stared at her stiffly. "Then I hope you can deal with the path you've chosen. Because I will not help my own mother if she treats me worse than any of my owners did."

Abaddon was already drawing on the map again, the only indication that she'd heard a word he'd spoken was a flippant, "Good bye."

**A/N: I'm not ecstatic about how the first part of this chapter turned out, but I think it holds my favorite piece of foreshadowing I've ever written. **

**Oh my Chuck you guys are absolutely amazing! I've never gotten such sweet reviews on anything before! I don't know what it was about the last chapter, but I was almost crying I was so grateful and happy about the reviews I got! Thank you, thank you, thank you! To:**

**summertime-nephilim (Of course they are :D)**

**Imagine88 (You don't have to apologize for such a long review, trust me, I have no problem with it! I'm so grateful that anyone could think something like that of my writing. I really hope Abaddon and Ash continue to live up to that, and HIGH FIVE YOU GOT THE JOKES WOO! But seriously, thank you for taking the time to write that! I even made my mom read it I was so happy XD)**

**Guest (It was very hard to write about Meg going through that)**

**TwoSisters1213 (Well you make me feel all special too :3)**

**Guest (Thank you, I'm glad! I was kind of iffy on it since I haven't really written one before.)**

**And speaking of which, I feel bad for not updating yesterday, but I had to finish a project that was worth pretty much my entire grade in one class for a teacher that if you turn it in late you can get 50% at most. **

**But that project was to make a short film, which you can now find on youtube at **** watch?v=T3Rycrr7ZHQ**** if you want to check it out :) There are also several SPN references :D Okay, I'll shut up with the self promo now.**


	25. Like Your Mother

Chuck followed after Cas, having said nothing during the spectacle. He knew when not to get involved, but he was also good at knowing his moment to do so. "Cas?"

Castiel wasn't cross with Chuck so he just turned to his father, the anger not yet ridding itself from his features; even if it wasn't aimed at Chuck. "What do you need?" the question still came from him freely no matter how much he tried to stop using it. People seemed to simply translate to him as masters, wings or not. And masters always wanted something. That being said, it was much the same with Angels. They were just kinder when going about it. He hated automatically thinking that about his family, besides Abaddon, but it almost didn't make sense why they were so kind. _Family. This is what family does. They're kind for no reason._

Then why was Abaddon cruel for no reason? Cas knew the reason. She turned off her emotions, but that still seemed like a flimsy excuse, despite the fact that he knew personally what it did. But she was _choosing_ to keep them off. She _could_ be kind if she wanted to.

Chuck's wings ruffled slightly from nerves. He loved Cas, but with not knowing him for so long, sometimes he wasn't sure how to talk to him. And he knew Cas would _not_ like what he had to say. "Your mother is a lot like you, you know? I've seen it wither she has or not. You both turn off your emotions too readily."

"I know," he admitted with a sigh. "I'm not good at dealing with her."

Well that…went better than expected. Chuck calmed down, wings stopping their fidgeting. The mix of a murky, soft grey with a sprinkling of almost red-gold looking feathers seemed to fit him much more than Abaddon. Yet she did have more of the red-gold than he did. "Confrontation isn't the way with her, because she'll just fight back. I know from experience."

"Then how am I supposed to do this?" It was the only thing he'd ever seen his mother respond to.

Instead of answering, Chuck asked another question. "Cas, why did you turn your emotions back on?"

Castiel didn't like the lack of answer, but decided to go along anyway. Besides, it would have been rather rude of him not to answer (just like it had been rude of Chuck…) "I remembered that I had something to fight for."

"Which was what?" Chuck was doing his best not to smile. He liked his son much better like this, though even when he'd been scary, he'd still loved him. If Chuck knew one thing it was that you don't give up when your loved one's had psychotic days. If so his marriage would have fallen apart years ago.

"The humans and Angels alike. Someone was kind to me when they had no reason to be. The human race is something to be fought for, not destroyed in mindless rage. I realized that I'm not angry with them." Not anymore. Though he wasn't quite sure when he'd forgiven them either.

"Yep. Just like your mother," Chuck was full on smiling now. "That's why I'm here in an army camp when we all know I'm not a soldier. So I can remind her that the best things don't run off of anger. Think of that next time you try to speak with her, alright?"

Cas was glad his father had come after him. He felt much calmer now, and it was nice to see why his parents were together. He'd been wondering for a while now; they seemed like such an unlikely match. "I think I can do that."

"Good," Chuck nodded in approval. "Now I'm going to bring her some tea before she figures out how to make pryokinesis possible." His tone didn't make it clear on whether he was kidding or not. Chuck didn't know if he was kidding or not.

"Okay," Cas forced himself to swallow his pride. He knew Abaddon would never swallow hers, and too much between them hadn't gotten anywhere. "Do tell her I apologize. I'm not going to leave her; it's unlike me to get so angry."

Chuck was pleased Cas brought up the point himself. He'd already pushed it with the 'you're like your mother' thing, and hadn't wanted to push anymore in case of upsetting his son. But now Cas had given the opportunity. "Something stressing you out?..I mean, besides the war."

"Oh yes, but I can't tell you about it. You might tell mom and then she might murder me on 'accident'. After she figures out how to make pryokinesis possible," he added with a small smile.

Chuck laughed, "I won't tell her if you don't want me to." _Trust me, with all the things I know about Gabriel and Balthazar…_

"Well..." Could he really trust his father with this? It wasn't just his neck on the line here. But…it wasn't like Chuck had ever been distrust worthy as of yet. And it would be nice to tell someone about it. Parents on Earth had always seemed to encourage their children to come to them for advice, and he'd noticed that Heaven's social system was oddly similar. Maybe Chuck _would_ know something that could help. "Meg's not dead and she's in my room and she tries to kill me every time I talk to her!"

"The one the cat thinks you're married to? I heard. Anna says 'hi' by the way."

"Yes her," Cas nodded. Well thanks Anna. Glad to know you can keep a secret.

Chuck knew the advice he'd give to anyone else. Ask Castiel. "Ah, makes sense. Good luck with Meg. I'm sure you'll figure out how to help her. It seems to be your talent, wither people want it or not," he added the last part in a whisper, but it was a compliment rather than the insulting tone Abaddon had used.

"I'm not sure about that, but thank you, Chuck." He would have called him 'father' or even 'dad' if Chuck had wanted him to, but he'd learned early on that his father had always insisted his children just call him 'Chuck', though Cas had never found out why. Sometimes they wouldn't go by it, but mostly the children stuck to the request.

"See you, Cas," he waved as went back to try to calm his wife who he knew was probably seething.

**A/N: Hello all! I have a question. Is it too much to post two chapters in one day? I had a lot more free time than usual and got another one done. So should I wait until tomorrow, or post now?**

**Speaking of two, here's to two amazing people!:**

**barjy02 (I really do love playing with the idea that Abaddon isn't better than them. I'm glad you're enjoying that as well :)**

**TwoSisters1213 (Thank you for watching it! :3 I am the murderer in the movie. AND ALL IN GOOD TIME! Maybe :D)**

**So yeah, see y'all sometime in the near future! **


	26. Like a Friend

Cas decided it was time to pay Anna another visit to see who else she'd decided to tell about Meg. He went to the back of his tent again and used the teleporter Ash had given him. Anna almost jumped completely off the couch, jostling little Sam and Persephone, when he appeared right in the middle of the living room. "Hello, Anna. Who all have you told about Meg?"

"Jeez, Cas! A little warning would be nice," Anna exclaimed. "Chuck. Why?"

"_Just_ Chuck?" he checked.

"Yes. _Just_ Chuck. _Why_?"

Cas relaxed visibly, "I would like you to please not inform anyone else about her as it might put her in danger."

"Oh…Oops. Sorry, I didn't think Chuck would-"

Cas held up a hand to stop her, "Chuck is fine. I was just worried you'd told someone else."

"Nope," Anna shook her head.

"Good. How are things here? Sam and Persephone?" he inquired. His sister looked okay, but there was always that worry for her in the back of his mind. Staying out of a war could be almost as dangerous as being in one. One of the most detestable things about it was how war put everyone at risk.

"Everything's fine here. Little Sam, Persephone, and I were just fine," Anna answered, picking little Sam off the couch cushion to her left and placing him on her lap. Persephone stayed on the cushion on her right.

Little Sam didn't stay there though, instead jumping off her lap. Then Sam leapt up to Cas with a happy _murrp_. He didn't actually mean anything by it, but instead it was just a noise of joy. Cas sat on the floor, letting little Sam rub his face up against his knees before making himself comfortable in Cas' lap, purring the entire time.

"Can I ask you something personal?" Anna asked once the kitten was comfortable. He wasn't really a kitten anymore, but he was still small enough to be, and hadn't really matured much, so Anna always thought of him as such. "These guys have got me curious."

"Yes, sure. Anything." They were siblings after all. He still felt closest to Anna out of all of them. She was the only one he'd had on Earth for so long, even after they hadn't been able to maintain contact, she was the only one who truly understood what it was like spending most of your life on Phydus. Even to a lesser dose, her being Female.

On top of that, Anna had never been shy when prying, not that he really minded. He didn't have anything to hide, especially not from his sister. Cas had done his best to be close to her in the early days when they'd had no one else. She'd been so young when they'd left; he had few memories of what family was, but he didn't think she'd had any, so he always tried to give her some. He'd always shared anything. What could possibly be so personal she'd have to ask for permission to ask it?

"Are you really soul mates with a human?"

He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but that wasn't it. "What? Why would I be soul mates with-?"

"That's just what little Sam and Persephone were discussing," Anna cut him off. "Little Sam seems to think so, but Persephone says that her owner wouldn't go for someone so furry. Then I explained that wings have feathers, not fur, but she still doesn't think so."

Cas laughed. That was so much like the animals. It reminded him of the day he and Meg had taken them home. The day before he'd gone back to Heaven. He almost wished he wouldn't have gone back to Heaven so soon; maybe spent some more time with the pair. "Persephone would know best. No, I'm not her soul mate. I don't think humans have soul mates."

_But if they _did_? _Persephone raised her head up to look at him skeptically.

"Then I don't know. But we're just friends," Cas insisted.

_Then why did her _eyes leak_ over you?!_ little Sam wined.

"Because she was sad that her friend had left," Cas answered.

_That didn't look like a friend leak to _me_, _little Sam huffed. Why wouldn't anyone listen to him about this? It was so obvious!

Cas smiled fondly down at the creature. Obviously some of Persephone's stubbornness had rubbed off. "You don't know what a friend leak looks like, Sam," he pointed out.

_I don't think you know what a soul mate leak looks like, _little Sam glared as much as a kitten could, though he could never really be angry at his owner.

**A/N: So I started the book Pandemonium (the sequel to Delirium) and this didn't get updated. Funny how that works...But seriously, these books are fantastic! (So if you've read them message me because I NEED SOMEONE TO FANGIRL WITH OKAY)**

**Thank you toooooooo:**

**barjy02 (Their relationship is a complex one and I understand why you wouldn't like that part)**

**So if you want to motivate my lazy bum to write more, there's always that white box below this text :D**


	27. Hell is for Children

Anna said she had things to do and went out, hiding her wings in a baggy coat, leaving Cas with little Sam and Persephone. Cas sat with his cell phone in hand, waiting for Ash to call. He sighed, Sam lying in his lap while Persephone was curled around his wrist.

_ What happened to her? _Persephone asked him after a bit of silence. Cas didn't mind the silence, but he _did_ mind the anticipation. Why couldn't Ash just _call_ already?

"I already told you. Nothing has changed yet," he answered briefly.

Persephone shook her head like 'this idiot', mostly because that's what she was thinking. _But what made her mean?_

Oh. That. "People hurt her."

_ I'll hurt _them_,_ she hissed.

Cas gave a small laugh, he was glad to see Persephone hadn't changed much. "I'm going to try to help her, okay?"

_ So will I, _Sam purred, rubbing his cheek against Cas' stomach.

"Okay." Cas smiled down at him, but kept his hand on the phone. _Come _on_ Ash..._

Still, it was another hour before Ash called; Cas picking up before the first ring had even finished. "Hey Cas. I've got good-ish news, and bad-ish news."

"Go ahead?" he said, not sure if he should be hopeful.

"From what I can tell, they put a chemical in her brain that somehow works like a transmitter. They can send her whatever they want in her sleep. I played with it a bit, and one, Motley Crue concerts are so much better when there's no crowd. And two, it's curable."

"How?" Cas demanded.

"You needta get her brain to release phenyl ethylamine."

His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Little Sam started to ask what was wrong, but Persephone shushed him. "I'm sorry, but what is that?"

"You needta get her to feel love. And you can't just shoot her up with the chemical either, I tried that on the rats and it didn't work. 'has to be natural. Quite the paradox they've got protecting their system."

Cas groaned in frustration. "Of course. Thank you. Ash… do you know how can I possibly do that? If they're making her hate me..?"

"I don't know, man," Ash shrugged. "Have you tried talking to her? Girls like flowers?"

"I don't know about women, Ash," he took a deep breath to calm himself. It was a problem, and like any other, there had to be a logical solution. He just needed to think it through. "Okay, do I have to do it in or outside of a dream?"

"Outside," Ash answered without hesitation. "You can _not_ be trapped in her head when this thing goes away, and she can't be asleep either. If she is...that experiment didn't go well, okay? And I had to bury Whiskey Jr. the Fourth!"

"How am I supposed to make her love me while they're pumping hatred into her while she's sleeping?" Cas snapped. He didn't mean to be so angry with Ash, but the situation was wearing on him.

Ash shrugged, "Insomnia?"

"What?" Cas asked. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the coffee table. He wished he could just go to sleep for a while. Until the war was over. Just wake up to find Meg okay, Abaddon sane, and the two planets at peace. Or maybe wake up to find it had all been a dream, the entirety of the past year nothing but a hazy memory to be written off as a hallucination of his unconscious mind. He would tell Meg about it over the breakfast he'd fixed for her, and then she'd call him insane.

"Try to keep her awake?" Awake. Just like Cas was now.

He opened his eyes slowly and took his time taking a deep breath before answering. "I'll try my best," he said with a sigh. "Can I try to fight off her nightmares inside of her dreams? I did it before."

Ash knew it wasn't a good idea to be in her mind with that stuff at all, but telling Cas no probably wasn't best for his sanity at the moment. Besides, he'd probably just do it anyway. "As long as you're not trapped in there when the chemical comes out, or...I'm not really exactly sure _what_ happens to ya. Or her for that matter. Just that ya won't be coming back."

Cas nodded in understanding. "Of course. I can do that. Thank you so much, Ash," he returned sincerely. Heaven knew Meg wouldn't have stood a chance without him. Cas' lip twitched up at the human phrase. No, Heaven _didn't_ know, and Cas would do his best to keep it that way.

"Nota problem," Ash grinned before there was a click and the line went dead.

"I'm sorry little Sam, you're going to have to move now."

_Why? _Little Sam pouted.

"I have to return to Meg. I know how to help her now."

_Good, _Persephone bent her head slowly in approval.

_Fine. But only for Meg, _Little Sam grumbled as he arched his back, then walked off of Cas, swishing his tail all the way over to Persephone.

Cas was glad to be able to just push a button and go between worlds. It made things so much easier. He closed his eyes again as his thumb pressed the '5' and instead of the coffee table he was leaning against the back of his tent.

There was only one thing Meg had been since she'd woken up: Confused. And when the Angel walked in, it only worsened.

Before, it had been like some abstract idea, but now it focused. He was the thing confusing her.

"What's wrong?" Cas asked her in concern, stepping closer instinctively.

"I'm...not sure," she answered slowly.

Cas was pleased to see Meg didn't immediately snap at him, but he could still read the confusion in her eyes. "Oh, I know what this is about," he realized, "but you wouldn't remember... It doesn't matter, are you hungry? Do you need anything?" _Maybe you'll let me help you now...please..._

Her eyes flicked up from the random spot on the floor she was concentrating on while she tried to sort out her thoughts to meet his. Something about that had nagged at the back of her mind. "Why is that familiar?"

He couldn't help but smile fondly. She was remembering, and the sunlight streaming through the tent seemed just that much brighter. "Because when I was your servant I kept trying to do things for you and you wouldn't let me. I hope you will now, though."

Anger flared up within her. Anger at him, but mostly anger at the confusion. Why couldn't she just _think_? Why didn't anything make sense? Logical things, perfectly clear things, were murky now, and she could do nothing about it! "That doesn't make any sense! I'm your prisoner, that's not how this works."

"Yes, it does because you're my friend as well and I want to help you." _Don't be angry, Meg. Please, not anymore. You deserve better than that. _Though he knew it wouldn't be so. One night couldn't possibly undo months of brainwash, despite the fact he was hoping desperately it could. It wasn't that he didn't want her to be angry at him anymore, he just didn't want her to be angry. Cas knew what anger could do to a person, seen it happen with his masters before her. Especially with her father actually. The man was so angry _all the time_. Castiel had watched it unhinge the man.

He thought back to the car ride home from the pet store. Seeing her smile for what felt like the first time...She deserved _that_. She deserved joy.

"I don't have _friends_," she snarled. He almost flinched.

"No, not anymore," Cas agreed, "but I'd like to be your friend again, Meg. Please don't yell at me, I haven't done anything to warrant that."

"You exist, that's good enough for me!"

"Existing is not a reason to yell at someone," he almost sounded scholarly. A student answering a question. "You yell at someone because they've hurt you. Anger is a secondary emotion that appears only when defensive, hurt, or sad."

Oh great, now he was purposefully trying to be confusing! Just what she didn't need. "What the hell does _that_ mean? Or have to do with _anything_?"

It was funny how he'd been in such a rush earlier, but now that he knew how to fix her, he could be patient. Well, he didn't know exactly _how_ to fix her, but what needed to happen anyway. Now the he knew there was nothing he could do, it almost made him content in doing nothing but talking to her. _I'm helping. I'll stop the dreams. It's _something_. _"You're angry because you're feeling defensive. Why?"

It was very slight, neither of them caught it, but she hesitated for a heartbeat. "Because I'm around you!"

"I realize that. You're not defensive of the air. But why do you feel the need to defend yourself around me? Don't say that I'm an Angel because I know that you hate everything, not just me. So why do you feel particularly defensive of _me_?" _Think, Meg. Think! _

"Because...Because..." Why? Why him in particular? _At the moment_. It wasn't like she always felt this way... "You are the one that captured me."

"And have I hurt you, Meg? Do you think that I would?" he pressed further.

"Yes! You would!" Why had she reacted so quickly to that? Why was she so sure he would? He hadn't...but of course he would!

"Okay." He didn't say that she was wrong because he knew that he would be rebutted, and he understood why. A version of him _had_ hurt her. In more ways than he wanted to count. "I understand why you feel this way. I'm not going to hurt you, ever. What would you like to eat?"

The intensity of his tone took her aback. "Um, the pasta was good, I guess," she shrugged. She hadn't really been asked lately. They put something in front of her, so...she ate it.

"Easy."

He came back a while later with pasta, and sat across the room as he watched her. "I'm not going to get any closer, so that you know I'm not going to attack you while you're eating," Cas promised her.

That pricked at her memory again. It was the second waft of smoke that she just couldn't catch. "You're...not going to..." she blinked, trying to figure out _why_ that seemed familiar. Nothing came.

"Not going to hurt you," he finished, "but if you want me to leave I'll do so."

"I...don't know." Why didn't she know? What was so confusing about him? What was going _on_?!

"Then I'll just sit here and read, okay? And when you're ready to talk I will."

"Why would I talk to you?" she barked, though instead of rhetoric, she actually wanted an answer. Why would she talk to him? Why wouldn't she? What the hell had happened?

"Because you might need something, or need to yell at me for something I haven't done yet," Cas answered simply.

"Yet?" she raised an eyebrow. _Yet._

"Yes. I might get too close to you or accidentally insult you or forget to clean something," those were things his masters had snapped at him for before. Not counting Meg of course. But in her current state, who knew? "I'll of course try not to do so, but it still could happen."

"That's ridiculous." Sure, she wanted to kill him for existing, but those were stupid things to get even _more_ angry at. Being ridiculously confusing for no reason though, that might be something to get angry at. In fact, in her opinion, it was.

"No, it's not. It's what humans get angry for."

"I'm not a human, I'm a Demon. Remember?" They never let her forget.

"A Demon is a type of human. Do you want me to treat you differently?"

That one really threw her for a loop. Angels hurt Demons, she didn't want him to hurt her. But why hadn't he already done so? "I want...you to take me for what I _am_."

"And we have different beliefs for what that is. I think you're the kindest human I've ever met."

"I think _you're _delusional," she grumbled.

"Maybe," he agreed with a shrug. "My life has been a bit strange."

_Kind. Kind, kind, kind. _The word still repeated over and over in her head like it was something foreign. "Why kind?"

"Everyone else treated me like a monster, but you never did."

_You are the monster, _her mind told her. That was why she could kill. Why she was so _angry_, _all_ the time. They thought her a monster, so that's who she would be. But...he wasn't. "I-I should have."

"I agree," he nodded. Cas rested his elbows on his knees as he sat and laced his fingers, looking down at them he continued thinking back. "I'm an Angel. You should have treated me like a monster, but you didn't. You treated me like you would any other creature, and you never punished me."

"I should have," she hissed without hesitation.

He looked up with a sad smile "I already agreed."

"WHY?!" She didn't remember crossing over to him, yanking him up, and shoving him and gripping his shoulders tightly, but there she was. "Why?" she asked in a much smaller voice.

Cas didn't make a move to defend himself. Why should he when he wasn't in danger? "Why do I agree or why didn't you?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Something was wrong. Something in her mind was wrong. Everything was so _confusing_. _He_ was so confusing! _What is going on?!_

"Because my entire life they told me that I was a monster, and after a while I started to believe it. Because you tried to be better than the people who did." _Meg, come back. Be that person again. I can see that being like this hurts you just come back!_

"I'm _not_. Why do you think I am? I'M NOT!" her voice had started quiet, but grown louder and louder. Her training was kicking in. Told something long enough, it becomes a truth to you. He was lying. _The liar._

"Why do I think you're better?" he asked rhetorically. "I'm allowed to have opinions Meg, and so are you."

"I _DO_ have opinions!" That were given to her in her sleep, but she, of course, didn't know that part.

"Then make some of your own. About me, not something that you've been told.'' _Remember, please remember._

"When have I ever been _told_ anything about you?!" she demanded. She was spiraling, the world going by too fast to understand, and she _hated_ it. She hated not being in control. Not being in control of herself. Anything! She had nothing to cling on to. No fight, no reason, no purpose!

Cas' voice turned from persuasive to pleading without his consent, "Your training, Meg." _Remember, please remember._

"My training?" she laughed bitterly, hysterically. "My training was _fighting_ techniques."

"You really believe that? Then why don't you remember your past?" he asked her, not daring to reach forward and stroke her cheek like he wanted to. She was so close and he'd missed her. He wanted to comfort her so badly.

"There's...There's no need to. I blocked it out."

"Why would you do that?" Cas wasn't accusing, but instead gentle, soothing. Take a deep breath and think...

But his luck had run out. "Just-Just GO AWAY! You said you would if I wanted you to, well I want you to! _NOW!_"

He stayed planted where he was. Not the smartest move considering how honestly plain dangerous she was, but he refused to give up on her. "If I was bothering you I would. But I'm not. I made you think of something that you didn't want to think about." He frowned as he looked into her pure black eyes, "And I want my Meg back. You're not her."

"And I don't _want_ to be!" she roared. "I never want to have anything to do with you, _ever_! I'd be happy if you dropped _dead_ right this second!"

"Yes, you would, but I'm not willing to give up on you. Hit me if you want, Meg, I expect it. It's fine, if you're angry you can take it out on me, I'll let you." He'd played that role manyatimes before.

She stomped across the room. It wasn't a good plan considering there was no where she could really go, but it was _away_ from him, and that was what she needed at the moment. To be far away. And for him to _shut. up_.

A huge smile spread across his face while his eyes sparkled with delight. Delight and hope. Meg was still in there somewhere, she'd just proved it. "See? You're not a monster."

"Why not?" she rounded on him. "How does that prove _anything_?!"

"You could have hurt me, and you didn't. That's more than any human has ever done for me."

"What part of 'go away' don't you understand?!"

He shook his head, but didn't even try to stop smiling. "I'll leave now, but I'm going to go to your dream tonight and help you fight off the nightmares that you don't remember. Goodbye, Meg."

"I don't have _nightmares_," she hissed. "Nightmares are for children."

"Nightmares are for the broken. That's why we both have them." He looked at her with soft eyes one more time, then left her until the nighttime when he appeared in her dreams.

**A/N: Honestly I'm not even sorry for not updating yesterday this took FOREVER. Almost 3,000 words, I think that's the longest chapter for any fic I've ever written.**

**Anyway, if you want to understand the title/hear an excellent song, 'Hell is For Children' by Pat Benatar is worth looking up. And now I'm tempted to make a playlist for this fic...anyone interested in listening to that? Maybe?**

**Now to the only thing anyone ever reads in my A/N's, which is also the most important part, THE THANKS TO THE WONDERLANDFUL REVIEWERS!:**

**TwoSisters1213 (Persephone has become one of my favorite characters to write, and I totally agree with you!)**

**barjy02 (They are quite perceptive ;)**

**Imagine88 (I have been waiting so long to show more of Chuck, I'm glad you liked him! The family dynamic is one I'm really trying to put into this because it is so important in the show. And I'm so thankful you believe my work deserves that much attention *GLOMP*)**

**Now I'm off to youtube because now I want to hear that song!**


	28. To Save and Destroy

In this dream Meg was laying tied to a table, a version of him standing over her. Her stomach was pinned open and he was carving into her organs as she bit her lip, but that didn't stop her screams of pain.

Just as before, Cas launched forward and killed the darker version of himself. Looking down at her, Cas wished he could heal her somehow. An idea came to him then, this was a dream, so maybe he could control it? Maybe not though, considering someone else was already in control, but he figured it was worth a try. Cas leaned forward and touched her side gently, thinking of what he wanted to happen. Meg was healed before his eyes, and the bonds holding her down dissolved. "Are you okay, Meg?"

She was looking up at him with tears and terror in her eyes. The liar. She could lie as well. "I'm always okay."

"No, you're not," he sighed, helping her up to where she was sitting on the table. He knew she only let him in fear of agitating him, and that left a bitter taste in his mouth. "I'm not always okay either. We like to pretend, though, don't we? So let's pretend that we're both okay for now."

"That's what I always do, Clarence."

A small smile spread across his lips. "You remember me. Or my name at least."

"How could I forget the person who tortures me every day?" she asked with a hollow bitterness.

His smile faltered. "I don't torture you. I'm going to help you."

"Sometimes you say that too. And then you gave me a knife that didn't work." She couldn't even muster up the energy to be angry. He'd given her hope and then taken it away, and she didn't even care. Caring only hurt in the end. It was just easier to be inanimate. Let herself be acted upon and try not to scream.

Cas was fully frowning now. "I'm sorry. I suppose it only works in the real world. I'll stay with you tonight; I'll help you." But that didn't make any sense. The knife had worked for him in the dream. Why hadn't it worked for Meg?

A dream. He hadn't even thought about how he could kill the other version of himself, it was a given. She never really thought she could, and this was a land where thoughts were the only thing that mattered.

Meg had always been the one to believe. She'd believed she could be better than what everyone else expected of her. She'd believed an Angel was better than a slave. And they'd torn and cut and ripped all of that out of her.

He didn't like to admit how ingenious a system it was. Embedding a deeper hatred of Angels, a need to fight, and the belief that you couldn't at the same time. If she believed she _couldn't_ fight, she'd attack even harder to satisfy that need.

"Then start. I don't like waiting," she snapped scathingly. It would have sounded like she was herself again if it hadn't been for the hopelessness tainting her voice.

No one would help her. She'd learned that early on. No matter who came or what they said, they were _not_ there to help. _The liar_. The last time he'd came was one of the cruelest tricks of all. She'd wanted to believe him so badly. When the knife didn't work, instead being turned on her…she had no one to blame but herself. She'd trusted him, forgot what she'd learned, she wouldn't make that mistake again.

"I am starting. I'm here. I'm not going to leave you; I'm not going to let anything hurt you," he promised. Cas knew there wasn't a point. Meg wouldn't trust him. He wished he could have been there for her a year ago. He would have happily fought these battles to save her instead of the ones he had been fighting to destroy others.

His next thought was of Abaddon. She fought to destroy under the guise of fighting to save. This war wasn't about rescuing the Angels enslaved on Earth. This was about destroying the humans, Demons, everything on Earth. Destroy, destroy, destroy. Was that the only thing someone could do without emotions?

"But you will." _Wether you do it yourself or stand by and watch doesn't matter_.

"No, I'm won't," he said with a sigh. "I'm sorry you believe that of me, but I've only known kindness by one person, so forgive me if I don't quite understand how to convey it."

"Who? I'd like to meet them," she responded sarcastically. Kindness wasn't possible. It was tricks and lies. More ways to cause pain. That's all there was in the world.

"You already have. But that's not the point. I'll protect you today and I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier." _I'm sorry someone could be sick enough to do this to you in the first place. I'm sorry…I'm sorry for a lot of things._

She looked away from Cas, out into the dark nothing. "This is a cruel trick."

"I'm not tricking you."

"Give me one reason I should believe otherwise."

"You shouldn't," he told her. "You have no reason to, but I'm not going to leave you. Yell at me, hurt me back, get revenge, I won't leave you."

She made no move towards him.

She stayed suspicious of him the entire time, and watched closely, waiting for the moment he'd reveal his true purpose. The moment the mask would come off. But he surprised her.

The last thing she ever expected actually happened. He _didn't_ hurt her.

Eventually the darkness began fading to light. "You're going to wake up soon," he told Meg. Too soon for anyone else to come hurt you, "and I'm not going to be there but I promise I'll come by later, okay?"

"The nice you or the ones who like my screams? Not in the fun way."

"The nice me," he answered, smiling at the fact she'd acknowledged the fact of a 'nice one'. "The one who makes you scream isn't in the real world."

**A/N is at the end of 29.**


	29. Phydus in Monotone

Cas went through his day like he was back on Phydus. He didn't once stop to see Abaddon; he was still angry with her. Angry that she'd been worse than any of his owners, angry that she was so much like him. He didn't want to breathe the same air as her, so instead he just moved around like a sleepwalker. And then there was Meg. He saw her face in everything. In the petals of the blue flowers he saw her eyes, not in the color but in the luster. In the faces of his friends he saw her features; the sparkle in eyes of Gabriel and the long hair of Hester. He felt like he was not living so much as recollecting, remembering Meg and remembering what she'd been. She'd been the one to wake him from his emotionlessness, so she was what his mind chose to believe in. And if he believed in anything, it was her. She could escape this. She had to escape it. Seeing her so despondent only made him think of how full of life she'd been. The contrast was stark in his mind's eye, and he wanted it back.

Meg couldn't stop thinking about him. It was like every time she went to sleep she woke up with a different opinion of him. The first time it had been hatred. Hatred of him in particular, and that made sense. He was the one to capture her, so she hated him for it. Next was confusion. Not just about what he said, but about him in general. For no reason he confused her. Now she felt...like he would protect her. Like he would hold her and never let anything bad happen to her ever again, and that was _more_ confusing than the confusion!

When Cas came into her room he was surprised to see that she was more beautiful than he'd been imagining. How could he have forgotten in only one day? "Hello, Meg."

She was lying on the bed looking up at the ceiling. She didn't look at him. "Go away," she muttered, but without any force.

Cas shook his head, "I can't. You haven't eaten yet today."

"Doesn't matter," she said in the same monotone.

"Yes, it does," he answered, holding out a plate with fruits from Heaven. "I thought you'd like these."

She closed her eyes, not taking them. "Thanks."

He set them on the night stand next to her "What's wrong today?"

"Everything. Nothing makes any sense and it's giving me a headache."

"You could always ask me?" _I'll help you, Meg. I wish you knew that by now._

"I don't know if I should trust you or not."

"Reasonable," he nodded. "But why wouldn't I have killed you by now?" _Think, Meg. Remember. Realize._

She ignored the question, asking one of her own. "Why did I wake up this morning wanting nothing more than for you to hold me and tell me everything's going to be okay?" What did it matter if he thought she was pathetic? Who cared?

He wanted nothing more than that either, but didn't make a move to do so. "Because I helped you in your nightmare."

"Why do you keep insisting I have nightmares? I told you, I don't dream."

"Not that you remember, no," Cas agreed.

"Why wouldn't I remember?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"I don't even care about the war anymore," she admitted. This time her monotone broke into something more hollow.

"I care about it too much." Making sure it stops before both sides turn into monsters. They were already on that path, everything was spiraling out of control and he didn't know how to stop it, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try. Maybe Meg would know what to do when she came back.

"But...what's my purpose? If I'm not for the war, what am I supposed to do?" She belonged to the war. It dictated her life, and she followed the path. It was simple; it made it clear how things should be. Now everything was so messy.

"Be whoever you are. Don't let the bruises hurt you. Keep going." _That's what I do. The only thing I can seem to do right now._

"Why? Why can't I just lay here and rot? I have no purpose. What's the point?"

A memory came back that he thought he'd long forgotten, buried in the back of his mind. Back before he'd been trapped on Earth, when they'd been a real family. "People need a purpose or they cease to exist. My mother told me once when I was really little that people have one root to the ground and if they lose it, they float away and never come back. You have to decide on your own purpose because it's your root to the ground."

"Mine is _gone_, just let me float." _Don't. Hold me and tell me it's going to be okay because for some reason I'll believe you._

He knit his eyebrows in true confusion. Why would she want to float? Even when she'd done the Phydus those times it hadn't made her float like it did to the Angels. He didn't think she would have done it twice if that was the affect she felt. Had they really broken her so badly? Yes, of course they had broken her, but…when he'd given her that knife, he saw the will to kick and claw and cling to life. "Why would I do that? You're my friend. You're allowed to have more purpose than just causing death. War ends and you have to find something else. Meg, hold onto something else."

"I was holding on to the fact that I was born a monster, but you try to take that away too."

"You're _not_ a monster, Meg. How about trying not to be a monster?" Like before. Not that she would remember it.

"Maybe it's what I want to be."

"If you wanted that you would have hit me by now. You would have killed me trying to escape." It was dangerous to reveal that fact. If she killed him the force keeping her in the tent would evaporate, but he didn't think she would try. Not because she was happy to stay, but because leaving wouldn't make her happy either.

"I don't know what _I_ want anymore. How are you supposed to figure things out when you can't even trust your own thoughts?"

"Trust someone else's."

"Why _yours_? What makes _you_ so special?" there was anger in her tone for the first time since he'd walked in.

"I didn't say mine. I knew you, but if you don't want talk to me I could go get Persephone, Samandriel, even Anna if you'd like."

She finally opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him. They were desperate, and she knew it. Desperate for answers. Desperate for something she could trust. She didn't know anymore, she couldn't trust her own judgment. What if all of it wrong? Her own _mind_ didn't feel like it was hers anymore. That was the only thing she knew for certain. She didn't know if he was telling the truth, or if this was a nightmare and he was going to show his true colours soon. She didn't know who she was. Even the name _Meg_ didn't feel like it was hers anymore. Meg was someone else, she was a monster. That was the thing that felt right and he was trying to take that away too. Her eyes watered, but she didn't even know if she should care.

When Cas saw her look he finally laid next to her and brought her into his arms. He was not sure what she would do to him, but he didn't care anymore. If she shoved him away so be it, but if she didn't… "It's okay Meg. I'm so sorry they did this to you. I can't say how sorry I am. The word is so insignificant."

Meg clung to him. The tears starting to fall down her cheeks, turning to sobs much too quickly. "I don't think I even deserve to be called that anymore."

"It's your name. Hold onto that. Figure out who that is and hold onto it. I'll help you in any way I can." Cas ran his fingers through her hair, reveling at the feeling of _Meg_.

"Who is 'they'? You keep saying you're sorry 'they' did this to me, but I have no idea who that is."

"The people who trained you. They injected you with something that lets them affect your dreams, and turn you into a monster. I've been trying fixing it."

**A/N: Two chapters in one day? Fantastic, right? ...Not so much. I'm posting two chapters today because there won't be any more posted until at least Monday, but more likely Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm sorry, but I won't have time because MY CITY'S COMIC CON IS THIS WEEKEND!**

**Now to those amazing people who reviewed chapter 27. Hell is for Children:**

**barjy02 (True, but that probably wouldn't be very good for her either. Still, people never listen, do they? *dramatic sigh*)**

**TwoSisters1213 (So I was in class when I checked my email and got the alert of this review, and when I read it I said a thought out loud. Apparently "Aw, I got a death threat!" is not something normal people say...)**

**On a completely unrelated note THE DELIRIUM SERIES IS KILLING ME MY FEELS ARE NOT OKAY so yeah great series you will cry. (Kinda reminds me of Kalbriel actually...)**


	30. Sean Bean Dies

Meg sat up, pulling away from him, but looked back down at him to meet his eyes. "Stealth. Whoever I am, I'm good at taking things that aren't mine. Do you think they'd have a file on everything they've done to me?" Maybe if she could read it, know what they did, she could figure out who she'd be if they hadn't.

Cas nodded slowly. "Probably. I could get you down there if you needed me to, but it would be dangerous."

"It's worth it. At least...to me it is." A cause. Something to fight for. Her life back. No, it wouldn't be the same. But it would be _something_.

He couldn't help but smile as he watched her spark return. His Meg was waking up. "Okay. We'll go first thing tomorrow."

For the first time in almost two years she actually _smiled_. It wasn't big, not of pure joy, but it was there, and that was a start. "Thank you, Clarence."

"My name," he said "you remembered my nickname. Do you remember why you gave it to me?"

"I..." Meg thought hard, trying to dig through the jumbled mess that was her mind. "Not a clue."

He was slightly disappointed, but it couldn't last for long when he'd already gotten so much back. He didn't mind helping her more. "You said that I reminded you of the angel in _It's a Wonderful Life_…Which is actually somewhat insulting because Clarence is constantly quoted as being the stupidest angel they have."

Meg had one memory of that movie. She was little, three or four, and watching it with her mom. That's when they started to realize she was a Demon like her father. She remembered how much she'd _hated_ that movie because 'he didn't die at the end'. After that her mother had kissed her forehead and they'd watched a movie with Sean Bean in it. "Isn't the point of that movie the angel showing the guy why he has reason to live?"

"Yes, it was," he agreed. Not that he'd actually seen the movie, but he remembered Googling it to try to understand the nickname. "So that Clarence could get his wings, but I guess he had a big heart as well. I'm not sure I have that."

"If not hopefully you have something to compensate," she teased. Just having a goal, a reason to get out of bed, something to focus on, was making her feel better. Like all she needed was that jump start. Meg might not have had a clue as to who she was, but at least now she had cause.

"I'm not sure what you mean," his eyebrows scrunched together slightly in confusion, as he sat up, "but you should eat. I'll be back tomorrow."

"I thought you were going to stay and keep away the monsters in my dreams?" _Not that I need you to stay, it's just…well…I wouldn't mind if you did_…

"I will," he assured fiercely; there was no way he'd let her think he'd abandon her, "but you won't remember that."

"Then why don't you stay?" Sure, she was half terrified that he was suddenly going to kill her, but hey, there had to be _some_ fun in life.

Cas knew he had to go, but she was making that so difficult. He had to go, but he _wanted_ to stay. "Because I'm a commander. My mom needs moral advice, and if I slip up she'll get rid of me and then we're all doomed."

"Can't she be a heartless bitch for a few more minutes?" _Because once you leave I'm afraid that's what I'll become again. _Yes, she should probably let him leave, but being alone again terrified her. What if they somehow messed with her mind again?

"Do you want me to stay?" _I've never been able to say no to you. And not just because of the Phydus._

She nodded hesitantly. How could she explain that she was afraid of being alone again because she didn't know what her mind would turn into? How could someone possibly understand not knowing if your thoughts were even your own?

He nodded, accepting his defeat, and brushed the dark hair straying in front of her strawberry lips. "Persephone misses you."

Meg instinctively flinched away, but forced herself to then lean into the touch instead. _This is okay. This is nice, _she forced herself to think. "The Queen of the Underworld missing me...there's a metaphor in there somewhere."

Cas laughed, glad to see her cynicism coming back. The hopelessness had been..jarring. "No, you named your snake Persephone. She was the first creature that you didn't instinctually hate.''

Meg spoke quietly, almost like she couldn't process what he'd said, maybe because she was having such a hard time doing so. "I..._didn't_ hate... something?" She was looking at him wide eyed. That...wasn't possible for a demon. Was it?

"No ,you didn't. They've done something to you, so when I brought her to you before you did, but...No, you didn't hate her. I'm not sure whether or not you hated me, but I don't blame you if you did."

Meg grabbed him by the collar, yanked him closer with a bit more force than necessary, and kissed him hard. She didn't have to hate things. She didn't have to have that feeling of a black hole eating her soul every time she saw another living creature! Now that she knew it was possible it made her want to push further. To _force_ it to go away somehow. Her fingers became entangled in his hair as his arms encircled her waist. She was never good with affection. How could she be when she'd rather strangle someone than hug them? But _damn it, _if it was possible she was going to try.

Hatred and craving protection were a baffling combination of emotions to feel for the same person, so she decided to push the first one away. She couldn't trust herself, but she _could_ trust him, and that would have to be good enough for now.

Cas kissed her back with more longing than he knew he possessed for her. He could feel Meg's uncertainty, and knew that she needed something from him though he didn't quite know what. But Cas knew he needed her, so accepting that Meg needed him as well wasn't exactly disagreeable.

Meg pulled back radiant and breathless. "What was _that_?" she asked, not sure if she was more asking him or herself.

Cas didn't answer for a beat, instead running his thumb lightly over her cheek. He loved her smile. And how that smile was for him. "I'm not sure, you kissed me. I've never kissed anyone before, did I do it wrong?"

"I wouldn't know," Meg laughed. "The only other time I remember kissing someone I bit his tongue off. It was an interesting day of training."

"Oh..." Cas shook his head. "No, I'm sure that's not true. But you remember nothing." How could she possibly have not been kissed before? She was so lovely it seemed impossible.

"I have _some_ memories of before the training started. They're all very violent though. From me, towards me. My father was an ass; I'll tell you that much." Change any mental or physical abuse in a Demon's past? Of course not! But any good memories at all? Yeah, those gotta go!

"I know," scoffed Castiel. It had been years by now, but he still couldn't stand Crowley. The man only had one redeeming quality: His daughter. "He was my owner for some time before you inherited me."

"He thought he was _my_ owner too," Meg grumbled.

"Some humans are like that. But not all, not all are bad, I promise."

Cas was such a peculiar creature. He'd been _enslaved_. Humans had been nothing but cold blooded when it came to him. "Why would _you_, of all creatures, think that?"

"Because I had you." Unlike the rest of his family, maybe not counting his father, Cas didn't mind being overly affectionate. His Meg was back, woken up. He wanted to make sure she knew how important she was to him. Maybe something romantic _was_ brewing between them, he wasn't sure, but either way she was important.

Meg rested her head on his shoulder as he laid back against the pillow, and curled up close to him. They didn't say anything for a while. Cas enjoyed the moment, but Meg...had to fight not to leap away. It made her sick to her stomach being so close to him. The wave of emotion was fading, and she was reverting back to her normal patterns. Meg did everything she could to push it away, but realized humans were creatures of habit. "Please don't let them change this," she asked in a small voice. They couldn't turn her back into that monster again. They _couldn't_.

But the scary thing was, they could.

**A/N: HELLO AGAIN! I'M BACK **_**BUM**_** BACK IN THE NEW YORK GROOVE **_**BUM BUM BUM**_**! Yay, classic rock reference. (Kiss is amazing okay, great song.) Wow 30 chapters O.O I'm a bit in shock right now.**

**Because you are all just **_**dying**_** to hear how Planet ComicCon went, right? (Actually a few of you said you actually read these. Here I thought I was just talking to myself the whole time! Hi mom!) For any Whovians out there, I got to meet Sylvester McCoy! And not just meet him, but he played the spoons on my shoulder! And then I have photographic evidence of me kissing his cheek while dressed as River Song! (Afterwards I told him 'you've got a little lipstick...' and he just went 'no one wipe it off!' it was AWESOME!) **

**So now to the only part most people care about. THANK YOU SO MUCH TOOOOO:**

**TwoSisters1213 (*goes full CPR or something. Maybe not a good idea since IDK how to do CPR* LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEE!)**

**barjy02 (I think he does too ;)**

**Qzil (I'm really glad you think so! I hope this chapter wasn't too fast of a jump...)**

**jrobanduknowit (YES IT IS CONTINUEING PAST 22 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR KEEPING READING AND SAYING NICE THINGS THEY MAKE ME REALLY HAPPY! I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE THIRD BOOK AND I swear it's Kalbriel like they got the names wrong AND THE ENDING OF THE SECOND ONE HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURT LIKE JOHN *ba dum chii* Ah puns...John Hurt..get it...huh huh...you get it *nods*)**

**Imagine88 (I hope you enjoyed the progression of 30 as well! And what do you mean 'putting up with' you? I love to come home and see your reviews because they really help with my writing (and my day) because they're so detailed! First, you're welcome :3 Thanks for reading it! Second, I do love doing this so! Don't worry, I read your first review to my mother because it made me so happy! Thank you so much for watching my movie! And I take that as a huge compliment! I acknowledge everything because I want to, not out of obligation. :)**

**And after all that...I just found out Blue Velvet cake is actually a thing like why wasn't I informed of this sooner?!**


	31. Black Wings & Black Eyes

Meg was pacing back and forth as much as she could in the small room. Would he _ever_ come? It seemed like an eternity and she needed to _do_ something. To start planning.

Cas finished his duties as quickly as he could, coming back looking worn out, but it was worth it. He offered her a smile, though, and tried to pretend that gravity wasn't weighing down on his skin.

She felt like she should comment on his haggard appearance, but didn't because he might take that as a reason to go take a nap or something and she would _not_ wait any longer for this. "Do you have the map?"

Cas nodded silently and pulled a folded map of the United States out of his pocket. "Yes. Here. Just like you asked."

Meg practically snatched it out of his hands and had it laying on a table in a heartbeat. She grabbed a pen and leaned over it. "This is mostly where we trained," she circled a chunk of Kansas that was far from any city. "It was mostly farm land, but the weather changed regularly, so it constantly was a new climate type." She was thinking out loud more than actually telling him. "They might have kept the files on the facility, though that wouldn't be smart since one of us could have found them. They wouldn't keep them too far though because they would want to be able to add to them and reference them when needed..." she trailed off, biting her lip.

The resemblance to Abaddon strategizing was almost scary, though Cas didn't immediately make that connection. When he thought of Abaddon he thought of something heartless and disgusting, but he didn't think of any of those things when he thought of Meg. He thought of beauty, and passion, and fight when he thought of her. Everything that would make a good leader. Everything Abaddon was not. Well…not in balance anyway. Abaddon was all fight. All kill. Well, she did have passion, a passion for killing, but passion nonetheless. And Cas supposed some might find her beautiful. Chuck sure did, and that was something, right?

It was odd how two completely different women had the same traits, just in a different balance. It made him wonder if somehow Abaddon could become a good leader, or had been one in the past.

"I agree. So perhaps some kind of building or establishment near, but not near enough for you to have found it. Perhaps something underground or just out of reach?" he suggested.

Meg shook her head slowly. "If you're trying to hide a tree, where do you put it?"

Cas paused. That was quite an odd question, and he didn't understand its relevance. "A tree? I'd...Why would I want to hide a tree? They're very large and green, and despite the difficulty in doing so, I don't see much of a point."

"I don't know," Meg waved off the question, "just say you were for some reason! Where would you hide it?"

"I would..." he thought it over logically (despite how illogical it was to being with), "probably hide it somewhere with other trees so it would be difficult to discern; but with some kind of marker. Why?"

"Because," Meg smirked as her eyes zeroed in, "we're looking for a building." She placed a finger on the map, pointing to the closest town to what was circled. Lawrence.

He slowly smiled as realization dawned on him. Meg really was brilliant. "I see what you mean," Cas agreed. "They're hiding it in plain sight."

"Bingo. We just have to go and find out which building." For the first time in as long as she could remember, Meg was happy. Not the twisted joy that came from ripping an Angel's wings from it's back, but true happiness. She was going to get those files and _remember_. Go back to her life maybe. Learn who she had been. Meg had a cause and she was working towards it, and she felt like _Meg_ again.

"Okay...It shouldn't be _too_ difficult." _It's just breaking in to a top secret base. But I suppose you've done that before. I think. _"Do you have a plan?"

"Going there would probably be a good start. Surveillance; get a taste of what we're up against." Of course she already had an idea. Monsters. People who didn't care that Demons were still human. Still had lives, feelings, things to lose. People who would rip everything away because they were scared E.T. was going to annihilate them. Meg hoped that would happen, just to show them.

"Okay," he said with a sigh, "we'll have to go down through Heaven to Earth." The phone seemed to only take one person at a time, and while he could send her with it and use the teleporter himself, he felt too protective to let her go anywhere _near_ the people who had done something so horrible to her alone.

"No, I thought we'd teleport Kansas here," she rolled her eyes. Snark seemed to be a part of 'Meg', it was coming so easy. More and more of 'Meg' was coming back to her, like once the ball started rolling it didn't want to stop. _She_ didn't want it to stop.

Cas couldn't help but smile a little bit. "No, listen to me. It will be difficult."

_Of course. Nothing can _ever_ be even the slightest bit easy. _"Why? Going between the planets isn't hard. At least not for Angels. You guys come back here between every attack!" Arguing. That also was coming more easily.

"Obviously. But sneaking you there is difficult. They'll know what you are. Unless," _Unless I do something borderline stupid. _Cas hadn't grown up like most Angels. On Earth, any ability that wasn't directly useful to the humans, or was considered a liability was strictly forbidden. That meant several of his abilities were now stunted, almost the point of impossible to use. "I might be able to perform a small glamor."

"And what? Give me wings?" she raised an eyebrow. She hadn't known Angels could do that. In fact she only knew what that was because of books.

"Yes. I could make a glamor to give you wings, but it would be difficult."

"Why? Aren't all your fluffy Angel powers natural to you?" Meg was trying not to be insulting, but she still found the acidity towards them at her core.

"Of course. But maintaining a glamor is difficult around other angels," Castiel lied. It was stupid and petty, but he didn't want her to think of him as weak. He'd been so weak when he'd first come to her. Constantly on Phydus, not able to even comprehend living without orders. Castiel _wasn't_ weak anymore. She had always been strong, and now he was too. Petty.

"Unless you have any better ideas I guess it'll have to do." Yeah, her neck would be on the line, but apparently that was something you grew use to. At least now her neck was on the line for herself.

Cas touched her shoulder and from her back sprung two velvety, completely black wings.

Meg looked over her shoulder to see, and cocked an eyebrow. "This isn't going to do anything to convince people against the soul mates thing," she smirked, glancing as his.

"What soul mates thing?" he asked with a smile. She was remembering things...

Meg saw what he was doing and half grinned back. "You said something one time about an Angel's soul mate having the exact same colour of wings?"

"When?" he pushed.

"I don't have a freaking clue," she admitted.

He shook his head, still smiling. "Years ago. I told you that years ago. But I wasn't thinking of my wings, I took it from your eyes."

Meg seemed to deflate. Of course. She was a demon. Those ugly black eyes marking her as such. "Oh," she muttered in disdain.

"What? I like your eyes." he stroked the feathers of her wings, which she was able to feel. "It'll help you blend in."

"Why would you like something so ugly?"

"They're beautiful to me, just like everything else about you," he admitted.

"Everything?" she raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Yes," he admitted. "I see you in the most beautiful things and people. But they don't really compare like I want them to."

How the hell was she even supposed to respond to that? No one had ever been that sweet to her. What threw her off the most was his sincerity. She had no doubt he truly thought so…and it kind of creeped her out. To have someone think you're so amazing…did he not see her faults? Did he not see the truly awful things about her?

_Lolita complex, _Meg decided. In the book Lolita, Humbert had such a solid picture of Dolores in his mind that it blinded him to how she really was. Meg had always found that book interesting, but now decided she did _not_ like the role of Dolores.

"If you see me in beauty you don't know me at all."

"You don't know yourself, Meg." Cas shook his head, "It's not that I think you are perfect, that would be impossible; it's that you always fight for what you believe is right, and that's true beauty."

_So…not a Lolita complex. _

Was it possible for Angel's to read minds? Meg didn't think so. But the only other explanation was the he knew her so well…She didn't want to think about it. Instead she responded to what he'd first said. "I can't argue with you there," she sighed.

He noticed. "But you _are_ beautiful. My favorite flavor of humanity."

"I have a feeling I'd remember your tasting," Meg countered.

Cas' eyebrow scrunched together, "What?"

"I just implied that your tongue," she rose up on her toes and whispered the rest into his ear.

Cas blinked. Oh. Um…Okay… "You said something similar once before. I'm not opposed to sexual interaction, it is a complacent action."

'Flirting' was added to her mental list of things that were coming easier. "Sometime I want to change that opinion to at least 'enjoyable'."

"I know you do," he teased. "Crowley sometimes sold me off but the women were horrid."

Meg…really didn't like the idea of that, but she laughed at the way he'd voiced it. "They had to buy an Angel prostitute, of course they were."

"I was hardly a prostitute. But Angels are more physically fit. I understand, I suppose." Humans always did value physical appearance too much in his opinion, but he understood their tendency. "It was a job, just like any other."

A fact she wasn't supposed to know in the first place, and certainly not one she should be able to remember, strolled into her mind. "That was looked down upon too, before the drugging."

"Really? It is here too, but I never had any aversion to it. Other people's choices," Cas shrugged, "But it's odd to think how similar our societies are. Or were in the past anyway."

Cas didn't say anything as he led her to the transport. They took the long way around the edge of the Camp to avoid the majority, and especially his brothers. Gabriel would never shut up. Maybe he shouldn't have made her wings black after all, but it was too late, and it was difficult enough to keep up the glamor without changing it. Like using a muscle you hadn't used in years. Still there, still able to be flexed, but difficult to maintain holding weight with.

Meg kept shuffling her wings nervously as she walked, but kept them close to her back like she'd always seen him do. It was so weird to just...suddenly have _wings_. "How do you live with these?" she whispered to him.

"Personally, I'm fairly used to them," he explained with a bit of irony. "Don't move them so much, it's strange."

"But it's so cool," she protested. She was _moving_ her _wings_ for crying out loud!

Cas rolled his eyes good naturedly. "It's hard for me to keep up the glamor enough when you're keeping them still."

"Sorry," Meg sighed, doing her best to hold them still, but they still twitched every now and again.

Cas and Meg approached the teleporter, stepping into the circle together, they were suddenly in Kansas down near her old training camp.

**A/N: Wow I've actually kind of had a life this week. Weird. I don't think I like it, it makes it hard to update. Besides that my friend is writing a play and IT IS SO GOOD BUT NOW I'M IN A FANDOM ALONE AND THAT'S NO FUN BECAUSE I NEED SOMEONE TO FANGIRL WITH so if you want the link to the google docs then pm me and we can fangirl together! **

**Now to the THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU's:**

**Qzil (Enjoy the adorable fluffness...for now...O:)**

**bunnygoats (Give your friend back her account Fire. And thank you :)**

**barjy02 (Yeah, it only took 30 chapters for them to kiss XD)**

**jrobanduknowit/jrobagain (I'm really sorry for making you wait FOREVER again, I know the feeling! I'm definitely finishing this out, infact we're closer to the ending than I'd like us to be but there's still exciting things to go so don't worry! And I will let you know my feelings about Requiem once I'm done!)**

**I have no clever sign off today. So just like any other chapter because I have a sign off.**


	32. His Lack of Wings

Meg looked down at the fenced in camp. It looked almost abandoned now, but that didn't bring her any comfort. If it had been hit with a missile, maybe _that_ would have brought comfort. The harsh angles of the dull buildings stood in stark contrast to the lush green around it. The beginning of spring had brought a nice breeze that lifted Meg's hair, but she couldn't enjoy the feeling.

She felt sick.

"I don't like this place," Meg murmured as she looked around. It was too close. Too much of a reminder of the robot she'd turned into. Of how it would be so easy to slip back.

"Neither do I," Cas agreed, standing closer to her.

She took a deep breath and started down towards the enclosure.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he followed.

"Stealing a car," she shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh. I suppose that is a good idea. How far is Lawrence?"

"Five, six miles."

Cas simply flew over the fence, and barbed wire at the top. It was only once he was on the other side that he wondered if maybe he should have carried her, or at least told her how to fly. However, Meg had no trouble scaling the fence. Grabbing the smooth bar at the top that was just under the wire she flipped herself backwards over it. Her boots hit the dirt with a thud, knees bending to absorb the shock. Cas thought the move had a distinctly feline quality to it.

"This must be difficult for you," Cas rested his hand on hers as he saw her looking around. She moved the hand up to guard her eyes from the Sun as she squinted.

"Taking a car is hardly compensation, but it'll have to do." As soon as she saw the one she was looking for she took a few steps forward. "Follow me exactly," Meg instructed. She didn't feel like testing whether or not the traps were still active or not.

Without the Demons in training running around, the base had the feel of a ghost town. Every shadow seemed to turn into a threat, but nothing was really out to get them. Hopefully. Meg stepped carefully from the dirt around the fence, to the soft grass, to the pavement. Once she hit the parking lot she sprinted to the shaded side of the nearest building; Cas following silently.

"See that red one?" Meg whispered as she pointed.

"Yes," Castiel gave one tight nod.

It was the red mustang of one of her trainers. The one with special fondness for making the Demons fight each other. Just like back in the Demon fights Meg had tried so hard to escape. It made sense, the retired fighter with the stage name 'War'. Meg had beaten him in a qualifier once, and she knew he hadn't forgotten from the way he'd 'trained' the others on her. "That's the one."

The mustang probably meant more to the man than his own life. And it was fast. Win win in her mind.

_Payback's a bitch, asshole._

Of course she wasn't planning on that payback including him leaving the building they were hiding behind just as she got the engine to start, chasing after them, and _somehow_ getting ran over. But hey, apparently karma was a real thing.

"Is there any way you can hide your wings when we get into the city?" Meg asked as the sound of alarms faded into the distance.

"That depends how long they'll have to be hidden."

"Which depends on how long it takes to find the building. Two, maybe three hours I'm guessing?"

"Then yes," he answered and her wings disappeared, along with his own.

His lack of wings made him look human. It was so odd. If it wasn't for one little thing his entire life would have been different. If he hadn't had wings…there were so many possibilities it was too much to think about. One feature and your whole life is different. That reminded her of something. Meg forced her eyes back from black to the normal human appearance. It was the first time they hadn't been all black in years. It felt...strange. "If only this was what we really were," she sighed. "Life would be so much simpler."

"I guess," he frowned, "Simple is boring."

"How would you know?" she teased bitterly. "Everything now is just so messy."

"Maybe. But it can be fixed." Cas thought about it as the city started forming around them. Everything _was_ messy. And complicated. And confusing. And a million other things. But simple was not one of them.

No. Simple was the time he'd been a servant. Not her's; it was insane at the time for a master to give him _choice_. Meg really hadn't lived up to her name, not that he minded. That had been the craziest thing to ever happen to him, not simple at all, but now it seemed so mild in comparison. Simplicity was the servitude, the old familiar way of life, and he couldn't ever return to it even if he'd wanted to. Now he couldn't even admit to that small part of him that did. "I wouldn't be able to be a servant anymore, you know. Even with the Phydus," he spoke as she found a place to park (illegal, obviously. War could enjoy that ticket), and slid out of the car.

"I wouldn't want you to," Meg answered instantly. She wasn't sure if he meant it because of looking human, or now that things had changed. It didn't really matter; the answer was the same either way.

"I know," Cas squinted in the sunlight as he looked at all the people going about their day like there was no war. Like nothing in the universe was wrong. Like there wasn't a woman with serious anger issues and too much access to world destroying weaponry with a grudge against them. "But I stand here and realize that everything has changed now."

"True, but right now we have to figure out my past." That was the goal, what was driving her.

Cas didn't mind the change of topic. "I know some of it. But only what you told me which was very little."

Meg strolled down Mass. Street with him at her side. The building..._which_ building? Lawrence wasn't huge, but it wasn't exactly a small town either. And then of course there was the college...Meg hated to admit it, but she had no idea where to even begin. Meg was frustrated, and let it out by snapping at him, "It's not like we have to be silent while we look."

Cas raised an eyebrow at her. He didn't like to see the hatred they'd put in her showing. "We're not being silent. We're walking. The very existence of the two of us creates noise."

"I meant _tell me_ about my past," she snapped again.

"Oh." He flinched back a little bit, which she caught. Meg took a deep breath. She couldn't do this. She had to keep it together. "I'm sorry. Tell me about my past," she said, this time without the edge to her voice before he could say anything else.

Cas smiled softly at her and rested his hand on hers again; Meg laced her fingers through his, but didn't show any other sign that she'd noticed. The move was so natural between the two that the other people on the street simply thought they were a couple and held hands all the time.

Cas wasn't sure how to begin. How could he explain to her all that she had been? All that he saw her becoming again? It was like trying to explain to someone what breathing was like. He took a second to think, and decided to tell her facts considering that would more likely be believed. "You didn't live with your father. You didn't like the mistreatment of Angels... You started taking Phydus because it helped you stop hating things, but you stopped when I asked you to. You were a good person."

Meg thought that over. She really seemed to fight the hatred. _Interesting_. "How long did you know me?"

"Two weeks," he answered.

Meg stopped walking as she looked up at him suddenly. "Then why do you act so...? You act like we were best friends all our lives or something!"

He turned to her and used his other hand to push her hair back behind her ear. "Oh Meg, I've never had a better friend."

"How could I possibly be _that_ important? You only knew me for _two weeks_!" she protested. That didn't make sense! It was so cheesy fanfiction and totally not like her world at all.

"If you run into cruelty all your life, you believe that's all anyone is capable of. The person that teaches you kindness is not easily forgotten. You taught me that humans can be beautiful."

"You keep saying that! It still doesn't make me believe it!" Meg was frustrated, and still fighting confusion and an urge to murder him violently, this really wasn't her day and it was coming out and she just didn't care anymore!

"I'm not trying to make you _believe_ it; something is true whether you believe it or not. I'm trying to get you to see it again. It was a gift to me."

She didn't have anything to say to that. She wasn't use to such kindness, and didn't have a clue how to react.

"You gave it to me and now I'll return it."

Meg turned and continued down the street, practically dragging him along at first with their hands still locked together. "What building do you think?" she asked instead of responding to what he'd said.

"I don't know. If you give me a minute I'll go search."

She refrained from yelling 'why didn't you do that in the _first_ place?!' Instead going for, "A minute? How are you going to search everywhere in a minute?"

"As you said, my 'fluffy Angel powers'," he had a small grin at teasing her.

Meg laughed, "Then go use them, Clarence!"

Cas and Meg slid into the closest ally and hid in the space between the dumpsters. "Hurry, this place smells," Meg told him.

He disappeared and then reappeared about two minutes later. "Follow me," he instructed.

Cas lead the way for several blocks until they were on the Kansas University campous. On one of the very back hills there was a building that didn't appear to be for classes. In fact it was suspiciously void of any 'college' activity, but only if you looked closely. "I'm not sure, but it's very possibly in that building. It's the only place I couldn't get in." He pointed to the inconspicuous looking thing.

"Meet me at the starbucks back up the street in fifteen minutes," Meg instructed him. Cas nodded and headed off. He didn't like this, but knew he couldn't protect her all the time. He refused to suffocate her, and she obviously wanted to do something on her own.

Meg continued on. Casually walking by the building, only observing from the corner of her eye, and making sure no security camera's got a view of her face. It was second nature to Meg to not be detected.

Cas met her at the Starbucks, looking at a coffee in confusion. Stuck on the cup was a white piece of paper with seven numbers on it. _Why would someone put a phone number on a coffee cup?_

"You flirt," Meg teased as she sat across from him. She was in a much better mood now.

"Flirt?" he asked. "She gave me a series of numbers. I assume it's a phone number. Does that mean something?"

"She's asking you to call her. Anyway, you were right about the building. I saw the logo on the mailbox. You'd think a top secret government agency would be smarter than that. Welcome to the infallible United States," she rolled her eyes.

"Okay. What now?" Cas was a soldier, not a spy. He wasn't quite sure what the steps to this process was.

"We need to go back to Heaven. I took pictures with your phone." She held up the device she'd pick pocketed from him earlier.

"How did you-?"

"I'm just that good," Meg smirked.

**A/N: Hello again! Guess what? This is officially over 100 pages on word! And to celebrate I thought I'd share that I'm considering that after this fic is finished maybe reediting it, making it original story, and *knocks on wood to avoid jinxing myself* trying to get it published. Now honestly does anyone think it is good enough for that or just a good fanfic?**

**Also, I can't get Fancy by Iggy Azalea out of my head I WATCHED THE VIDEO BECAUSE IT'S A CLUELESS REFERENCE I DIDN'T WANT TO ACTUALLY LIKE THE SONG OH CHUCK!...I have no one to blame but myself.**

**Now to the people to blame for such a quick update! Thank you to all of my reviewers!:**

**True Love's Kis5 (DON'T TELL ME I HAVEN'T FINISHED IT YET I'M TRYING TO READ SLOWLY TO MAKE IT LAST AND IT HUUUURTS)**

**Guest (I love writing their flirting so much XD I'm glad you enjoy reading it!)**

**jrobanduknowit (NOOOO! COME BACK! *GLOMP* DON'T LEAVE! And XD NICE! That story totally made me laugh!)**

**barjy02 (This entire fic is just an excuse to have Meg have wings *nods seriously*)**

**Ironic that I would have FOUR reviewers when I went to see Divergent last night. 1) I LOVED IT except for the Tris casting was meh. But I'm pretty sure the movie theater near me just decides to show movies whenever and ignores release dates because that movie's not supposed to come out until today and I saw Catching Fire early too I hope they don't get sued because I totally don't mind this early thing.**


	33. Nightmares & Daydreams

Meg pulled up the pictures on the phone and transferred them to the computer screen that was mounted on the wall. "There's sixteen cameras on the outside, as well as a guard on the inside of every door. It appears to be a three story building, but I would assume it has several sub levels, which is where we'd most likely find the files," she informed him briskly.

Cas nodded. "Simple. I'll use a glamor after we knock out one of the guards, steal his form."

"That'll get us in the door, but they'll have other means of security. We need a way to know what exactly we're facing." Meg typed on the computer for a few moments until a video feed popped up. "Remember all the supplies I had on me when you took me here that you never bothered to take away? One of them was this camera. Slipped it in the pocket of the most important looking man I could find," she smirked proudly. Oh yeah, she knew she was good.

"Okay. And what are you going to do with that?" It wasn't that he wasn't smart, but he knew very little about Earth technology. He'd never needed to before.

"Watch, screenshot, and hope he goes somewhere important," she shrugged. It was the only thing she really _could_ do.

"I'll leave you here for the night then. See you in the morning," he smiled as he gazed at her. _There she is._

Meg nodded, too engrossed in the screen to pay him much attention.

That night Cas was sitting with Meg in her nightmare, looking around. The encasing blackness had become a city. There were no other people, but huge sky scrapers sat next to deserted streets with cars parked all along the sidewalks. He and Meg were sitting on the edge of a huge building that bridged over the highway. "What is this place?" he asked her.

"Kansas City," she answered. "It's where I grew up."

"Kansas sure seems to be an important State in your life," he observed.

Meg laughed, "This isn't Kansas, this is Missouri."

He tilted his head slightly to the right as he looked at her, sitting to his left. "I thought you said we're in _Kansas_ City."

"We are. Kansas City, _Missouri_."

Cas looked back out over the buildings. "That's very confusing."

"You get use to it," she shrugged. "There's KCK, which is Kansas City, Kansas; and KCMO, which is Kansas City, Missouri. We're on the Missouri side."

"One city in two states?"

Meg shook her head, "Forget it, not important. This building we're sitting on is where my first fight was. Kansas City Convention Center." She was more thinking out loud than telling him. She wondered why her dream had turned into this. Maybe it was another method of torture? Reminding her of how it all started? She didn't think so. Everything just felt so...peaceful at the moment.

Maybe it was because outside the building had been the last time she hadn't been a Demon fighter. It was so funny how one event could completely change your entire life. If she hadn't been a fighter, her dad wouldn't have been so hard on her to 'keep up the family name'. If he hadn't been so hard on her, she wouldn't have hated him. If she hadn't hated her father, she wouldn't have strived to not be like him. If she hadn't have strived to not be like him, she wouldn't have been kind to Castiel. And so on, and so on, and so on, until she was sitting in this dream right next to him. Meg slid her hand over to rest on top of his. The wind blew lightly against her skin, and she knew this couldn't be a nightmare.

There was a few minutes of silence, both lost in their own thoughts for a while before Castiel spoke again. "Humans often say that your dreams are what is inside your mind, but all I do is dream about you." He lifted their intertwined hands and kissed the back of hers once before setting them back down.

"You must think about me too much," she teased. Meg was much warmer to him in the nightmares since she could actually remember their encounters the waking her couldn't. On the other hand, the waking memories were very faint in the nightmares, but at least still slightly accessible. Unlike the dreams in the waking hours.

"I don't think you can think about a person too much," he mused. "You can think of evil too much, but thinking of good can only make you a better person."

There was a wistful sigh to her voice, "I wish I was starting to believe that when awake. I'm starting to remember both, here at least."

"That's very good. Perhaps soon you will when awake too. Do you still remember nothing of your past?"

"I still remember everything violent, never forgot really. Anything good is pretty far gone though, but I'm getting back snippets of random things I'm reminded of."

"I'm glad. When we get the file it'll help you even more." Cas looked out over the city one more time. He wondered what it must have been like for Meg to grow up there. When Crowley had bought him, Meg had already moved out, and Crowley lived in Seattle. "It's almost time to wake you up. Goodbye, Meg. Think of something beautiful."

"I dream about something that fits that category every night," Meg half-smiled.

"I agree, this city is nice, but the darkness wasn't. Were you somehow seeing this place before I could?"

"Nope. Think about it, Clarence," she winked.

Cas looked around as the wind made his wings flutter and twitch. If it wasn't the city, then what was it? There wasn't much else there. Maybe a bit of green here and there? "The trees are beautiful. I suppose you could find beauty in anything. Blood can be beautiful, and the rivers, the sky. Your Earth is beautiful."

"Is your name Cher? Because you're clueless," she teased favorably. "I was thinking something more...out of this world beautiful."

Cas didn't understand the reference, but chose not to comment. Instead he looked at her. The sun glistening off her hair, that smile that always seemed to hide something mischievous, and the now human eyes to match. "Funny, so was I."

Meg smiled at him, not feeling an ounce of hatred towards him anymore. Actually, feeling quite the opposite. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Right between their hands a hole suddenly appeared, spreading outwards rapidly. It didn't open up into the building, but back into the darkness. As the concrete fell through, it dissolved into nothingness.

Meg didn't know what it was, but she knew it was _not_ good news. Despite the distance of about thirty feet, and the concrete at the bottom, she immediately let go of Cas' hand and pushed off the ledge. She landed hard on her feet, but because it was a dream she forced it not to hurt. Her eyes flicked black as she stood from her crouch, muscles oozing power and a feline grace.

Cas landed lightly next to her, but didn't pause for a millisecond. He grabbed her forearm and drug her with him without a word.

He let go once he knew she would keep running. The pair frantically sprinting away from the nothing. The hole that had started out smaller than a penny now made the gigantic Convention Center collapse in on itself, into the nothing.

It grew faster and faster. Sucking cars, buildings, whatever was in it's path, down into it's depths. In what seemed like half a heartbeat it was on their heels, the street dissolving a second after their feet left it.

"WHAT IS THAT THING?!" Meg panted as she kept moving. She could _not_ stop. It didn't matter what that thing was, it scared Castiel, she knew it should scare her as well.

"Love," he answered. He never thought it would be a bad thing to learn that she was able to love, but Ash's warning rang in his mind. _Not while you're in her head. I don't know what'll happen to you. _Sure, he'd heard snippets from things during his time on Earth about how love was like taking the floor underneath your feet, but he didn't like the literal aspect of it.

"Shit! Just go! Wake me up!"

"No! I won't leave you!"

Instead, Castiel leaped into the air, circling tightly back to pick her up in what Meg thought was true Superman style. They were both breathing heavy as he carried her higher and higher into the blue sky, away from the hole that was eating the city.

"Quick thinkin' there, Clarence. Could have be a bit quicker though."

"I apologize. After not using them for so long, sometimes I forget I can actually fly."

Meg would have answered that, but something weird was happening on the ground that distracted her. For seemingly no reason, just like it had started, the hole stopped growing. "What the hell?"

Castiel knew almost instinctively that this was nothing good. His thought was confirmed when he felt himself being sucked backwards.

Another hole had started in the sky. Something powerful, drawing him in with a current too heavy to win against. Cas fought hard, but knew it was pointless. "I'm sorry, Meg."

Meg's eyes had grown to the size of saucers the second she'd spotted it. She knew it was useless. But she wouldn't believe it was useless. "Don't you _dare_!"

"It's okay," he did his best to smile reassuringly. "I'll be fine as long as you are."

He was losing the fight and she could see it. They were slowly getting closer, and if he didn't do it now he'd lose his chance to save her. With as much force as he could muster, Cas threw Meg out into the open sky, away from the hole. The move threw his momentum off and he was sucked into nothingness as she plummeted through the blue.

Meg woke up with instantly from the feel of the fall. Only one phrase was in her head. "I'll get you out, I promise." She wasn't sure what that meant until she saw the comatose form of Castiel next to her. And she remembered.

**A/N: What can I say? Things were getting a little too non-painful. *innocent smile***

**Anyway, can I just say how much I love you all? 90 reviews?! I don't even know how to respond to that! But thank you so so so much! **

**TwoSisters1213 (I was planning on changing the names. What I'd change them to...no idea. But actually there is some 'official' books that's basically published fanfiction. I've read a few Doctor Who ones, but there is some for Supernatural if you want to check them out. Tell me if they're good if you do :)**

**Jrobanduknowit/jrobagain (I'm glad you like that idea! War was kind of a last minute add in thing, so I'm also glad you appreciated him! And Sam and Dean will be making another apperance, though I'm not going to say when/why because SPOILERS!/ Then I have you fooled because obviously I'm just a robot *nods seriously* AND OF COURSE YOU'RE SPECIAL DUH)**

**barjy02 (Meg/Rachel are amazing I love both the character and the portrayal, though I did love first Meg too. It's weird it's like I love first Meg more because of second Meg because I go back like 'AWWW MY BBY WHEN SHE WAS SO YOUNG AND JUST KILLING PEOPLE AND BEING AN EVIL BADASS'. And it's my pleasure to write Megstiel :3 I'm glad you can enjoy the fic so much despite the fact that it's not your ship)**

**So if you're also a fan of The Hunger Games, I have a fic that shares the title with this chapter (actually where I got the name for it because I am so not creative today) if you'd like to go check it out. Also: No, I have no idea why I have so many fics with names that are "_ and _" I mean the other two are a series so that makes sense, but this one is not in anyway related to those other than this chapter's title. **


	34. The Hot, Crazy Ones

Castiel's now dull, blue eyes stood out over white ghost flesh as Meg checked all his vital signs. His heart was so faint at first that she didn't hear it, but after a moment she could hear the soft _ba-bump...ba-bump...ba-bump._ Relief washed through her. He was alive. But from how quiet the heart beat was, he wouldn't be for long.

All caution was thrown to the wind. Meg stormed outside and grabbed the first Angel she could. Her hands gripped his collar like claws. He was sort for Angel's standards, but still taller than her. With gold hair and gold eyes that looked extremely startled about why there was suddenly someone gripping his collar, and a short, insane woman demanding to know where the weapons were.

"What the Hells? Let go! Never thought I'd say that to a woman. How'd a human even get here, anyway?" Gabriel asked. "Wait...You're the one Cassie's obsessed with!" He grinned, proud of himself for figuring it out. "You do realize that I could blow you into bits if I wanted to, right? Nah I'll keep you around, Cassie's scary when he doesn't feel anything."

Meg was _not_ in a mood to deal with this right now. The only thing she wanted to do was get whatever weapons she could find and start blowing things up until she got Cas' soul back. Somehow his knowledge of the happenings had transferred to her in her sleep. Meg didn't know how she knew Ash's warning, but she did. Along with her knowledge of humans, it didn't take long to put the rest together. "Forget _feeling_, he can hardly _breathe_ right now! So tell me where the weapons are!"

"Nah," Gabriel shook his head nonchalantly. "I'm not insane. You could be a really good actor."

She was _so_ not in the mood for this! She didn't have time! "Do you want to _see_ him yourself?!"

Gabriel thought it over. That might have been an equally bad idea. "Uh...Okay how about this? Instead of giving the crazy chick a bunch of weapons...you can have your own personal Angel with superpowers and questionable morals!"

Meg really didn't care what he was saying as long as he _hurried up_. How did this Angel not understand? How did he not get that she _had_ to save Castiel? Why wouldn't the entire universe focus on that problem for just one second? "That works too! So come on," she grabbed his wrist and dragged him back into the room.

"Ta-da," she uttered darkly as she swept her hand towards where Cas was laying in the bed, looking already dead.

Something in Gabriel's gold eyes flicked but his mask didn't break.

Gabriel remembered the day the news had come that communication with Earth had been broken. How they all froze as the realization sunk in. How his mother had been the first one to break the shock, screaming in denial. That was the only time he'd seen his mother cry, after they lost Castiel and Anna. Gabriel had never let the family see him cry.

He could _not_ lose his brother again.

"I didn't think Cassie was on the drugs," he joked, as breezy as always.

Meg shot him a glare, her eyes flicking to Demon and back again.

That was…creepy. _What the hells? _"Okay, okay sorry!" he put his hands up in surrender. "What's the matter with him?"

"I'm not _completely_ sure," she admitted, "but I _think_ he got his mind sucked into a computer data base on Earth." It was the most logical explanation. If her dreams were being controlled through a transmitter, it must be linked to somewhere, and that somewhere would most likely have been where the holes had led to, and since when and how did she know all this? He must have known it, and Meg's mind put it together. _Thoughts going between us because his soul got sucked out of my mind…That's just _weird_._

"Oh, just the normal then..." Gabriel nodded sarcastically. "How do I know you didn't do this? It could be a trap."

"And I _could_ be a purple platypus named Steve as well. Are you going to help me or not?" Meg asked exasperatedly. The idea that she could have possibly _wanted_ this to happen to him…but the thing was, at one point, she did.

He could see instantly she was sincere. Whatever happened was _not_ her doing. Gabe let out a low whistle, close to a sigh, "Damn it little bro, you'd better appreciate this. I _guess_. What do you need?"

"Well my plan was to go in there and get him back and stab everyone who stood in my way." _Have a problem with that? _She crossed her arms, and shifted her weight from her left to her right foot.

That settled it. This girl was completely insane. Gabe approved. _Go on, date the hot, crazy one, Cassie. Nothing makes you feel alive like getting stalked_. "Oh, okay. Interesting plan, but I propose a less suicidal track."

Meg rolled her eyes. Fine. Maybe it _wasn't_ the best plan, but it was the only one her mind could come up with at the time being. He was almost _dead_, she was panicking! "Then you better have a good idea, because we're keeping mine as a Plan B."

"Okay. We get in-not hard when you have an Angel as amazing as I am," he grinned with playful arrogance, "and then you take Cassie. We just need to figure out how to do that without starting another mini-war."

"If you're so powerful why can't you just bring his soul back?" she cocked an eyebrow. _Please be able to. Please just get him back_.

Hatred was such an easy emotion to deal with. Meg realized that now. It was hatred's counterpart that was the difficult one. Cas had done so much to help her, more than he even knew, and now he was dying because of it. She refused to let that happen. It _would not_ happen.

"Can't. Angels can't mess with souls; they control us, not the other way around," he explained. "Besides, I want to go down and see where Cassie's been for practically his whole life."

"Haven't you already seen it?" The army had been there several times, hence the whole 'war' thing.

"I was there, that doesn't mean I've actually gotten to _see_ any of it."

"This isn't a pleasure trip!" she snapped.

"Nah, later though," Gabe winked at her. It was easier to do this, tease, flirt, anything but being serious, anything but dealing with the emotions clawing at him. His _brother_...

Normally she'd flirt back no problem, but this was serious. Meg needed to _do_ something about it; then, when everything was alright again (or as alright as it ever was), she could flirt back. For now she rolled her eyes. "Whatever. But when we're there you do _everything_ I say, got it?"

"I don't roll that way," said Gabriel "I'll help you...mmm maybe." _Of course I'll help you, he's my brother._

"You'll help me or I'll go tell your mother how you brought me here to help you take down her regime," Meg threatened.

"And then she'll kill you and I'll cry about how you forced me to do something and you're an evil little human," Gabe countered. "I think I might just be the one with the power here."

"And then you get to go to Earth and _hopefully_ find where they're keeping Castiel and explain to him why I'm dead when he wakes up," Meg smiled with so much false sugar it gave Gabriel a toothache.

_Damn it_. Meg had him, and he was not happy about that fact. He never got played, and yet…he was slightly impressed. _Well played. _"Basically neither way works out for either of us. We work together or not at all."

"Pretty much," she nodded in disdainful agreement. Yeah, they apparently had to be equals, but that didn't mean she had to be happy about it. "But I'm the one who's done things like this before," she did her best to try to get a footing above him.

"Good for you. I don't take orders well. I do what I want or you don't get any help at all." Maybe he couldn't be in charge here, but that didn't mean he'd treat her like his superior. _I take it back, Cassie. Go for the hot, sane chick next time. Or at least one that's not this damn stubborn with a hell of a superiority complex._

"This isn't going to work well, I can already tell," Meg grumbled.

"Nope!" he grinned, overly-happy, "but if I can drop by that candy store on the way down it'll be worth it."

"_Seriously_?" she sighed.

"Seriously. Cassie was an experiment. Every year he stole all of our seriousness, thus leaving none for the rest of us-he was never meant to get out," Gabe said solemnly. "Totally stole that from…somewhere. Anyway, let's go!"

Meg rolled her eyes. She definitely wouldn't be leaving Cas for his brother anytime soon. Or anytime ever for that fact. "Cas used a glamor to make it look like I had wings to get to the teleporter," she informed him.

"Ah. That's smart, very Cassie." Gabe snapped and wings rooted themselves in her back, white and blue speckled. "Ready?"

"I'll never get use to this," she muttered. "Whatever, come on." As they headed out of the room and across the camp Meg could do nothing but hope no one would notice she went from two black wings to white and blue ones.

Unfortunately, their passage didn't go as smoothly as Meg and Cas' previous one. A rather PMS-y looking red head came charging at Gabriel. "There you are. Where have you been? You missed the meeting, probably to be with this floozy, am I correct?"

_Floozy?! _Meg wanted to slap the woman, and not just because of her instinctive hatred.

"Totally," Gabe grinned.

"N-" Meg opened her mouth to say 'No it is _so_ not!' but found her voice was gone. _What the hell?_

"Sorry sweet-cheeks, you're just that much hotter when you're _shutting up_," Gabe looked at her pointedly. _Just go with it, you idiot!_

Meg begrudgingly got the point. She smiled sweetly and kissed his cheek in 'apology'.

"Now if you'll excuse us," Gabe turned back to Abaddon, "We have some more work to do." He grabbed Meg's hand and pulled her away, the pair jogging slightly past an unamused Abaddon.

"Stupider and stupider every day," Abaddon sighed to herself, rolling her eyes.

Gabriel still didn't let her have her voice back for a minute after they'd gone out of earshot. "Are you stupid or something?! That was _Abaddon_. You know, the general in charge of all this? When I'm getting us past her, _don't contradict me!_"

Meg glared at him (with her human eyes) the whole way to the teleporter.

"So where is it?" Gabriel asked once they were on Earth, finally returning her voice.

"Well, it's not in INDIA!" she barked at him. "It's in Kansas. The _other side of the planet_."

"Yeah I know," he rolled his eyes. "The candy store is in India."

Meg was suddenly rethinking her resolution not to kill Angels anymore.

**A/N: Hello again! Aren't you all sick of me yet? Pft, of course not *hair flip*. Anyway, sorry this took so long to get posted. I'm in Alice in Wonderland which is my school's play, and not only are we performing in two weeks, but our Chesire Cat got fired and I got to replace him. Yay on new part, but that also means more rehearsals and for longer.**

**Now to talk about/thank the more important people than me:**

**True Love's Kis5 (You are a special cupcake, Fire.)**

**Imagine88 (Your reviews always make my day, I hope you got my pm, and thank you so much for the support in possibly getting this published. Like I don't think 'thank you' covers how greatful I am for the encouragement, but I can't think of any other words that describe it either, so thank you. *hug*)**

**jrobanduknowit (I would change the names and make it an original work. And the fact that you said 'this is still the most amazing fanfic I have ever read' so flippantly like...wow that sentence made my day, and today that I'm writing this A/N too. YOU WILL KNOW IN TIME TRUST ME HERE THEY WILL COME BACK AND THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY!)**

**barjy02 (First, 'psychedelic' is an awesome word and I need to use it more often, thank you for reminding me of it. Second, you'll just have to wait and see :)**

**Now, as I was reminded of by the lovely Imagine88 I mentioned doing a playlist, and I have a handful of songs in mind, but I would also love suggestions (songs that remind you of a specific event/character/whatever, or just in general are both good)! The playlist will be posted as a chapter in itself after the epilogue along with any other notes/thank you's needed then. It saddens me to be talking about this being over, but honestly it is starting to wind to a close. It'll probably end up having 40-ish chapters just so you all know. Thank you all again for sticking with it so long.**


	35. A Demon A Moron A Moose and a Great Man

Because of, in Meg's opinion, Gabriel's stupid detour, it took almost 15 minutes for him to get his damn candy (without even bothering to hide his wings, but for some reason no one in the shop cared he was an Angel? What the hell..?), and them to get to another teleporting circle. Meg found it annoying that while you could go wherever you wanted with a teleporter just by thinking it, you had to find where one was already set up. Couldn't they just appear when you wanted them to?

"Hurry up," Meg snapped as Gabriel shoved the candy into his pockets. How he managed to fit all of it she would never know. Yeash, were his pockets bigger on the inside or something?

"You know, if I wanted a wife, I'd get married. I'm not, because I _don't_!"

"If I was your wife, I'd poison your candy," Meg glared point blank.

"If you were my wife, I'd eat it," Gabriel quoted back. "Winston Churchill, great example of a man."

"He was an alcoholic," she pointed out. Not because she had anything against Winston Churchill, but because she wanted to prove this dick of an Angel wrong.

"Like I said, great man," he nodded smugly.

"How do you even know about our history? Communication was cut off for so long."

"Are you kidding? We knew all about you before we even made contact. You literally have a web of information broadcasted all across your planet. And you people really need to learn when to not tell birds something."

"Are you talking about Twitter?" Meg held up her hand to stop him from responding, "You know what? Not important."

Since she knew the location of the facility and he didn't, she grabbed him by the wrist as they stepped into the circle with the funny squiggles on it that somehow magically could make people teleport. Meg focused on the best vantage point she'd scoped out; a tree nearby the building with lots of foliage to hide them, and a solid branch to hold their weight.

But apparently they weren't the only ones who had the same idea.

Meg and Gabriel's sudden appearance practically on top of the two men sent all four flailing. Gabriel grazed a few branches, but was able to catch himself with his wings before hitting the ground, instead landing lightly on his feet.

Meg wasn't so lucky. The bulky wings on her back would have come in handy if she'd known how to use them, but, of course, she didn't. Instead they were only one more thing to get hit as she tumbled through the scratching leafs and blunt branches. Her stop wasn't pleasant either. Instead of hitting the flat ground, she rolled in the air just in time for a thick branch to slam into her stomach, knocking the wind out of her as it abruptly stopped her fall. _Fucking fantastic_.

The two men didn't fare much better as they came rolling out of the foliage with two hard _thump_s.

Meg took a deep breath and grabbed the branch with her hands. She dropped to where she was holding herself up on it, feet only a few inches above the ground, and then let herself drop fully. The men scrambled to their feet at about the same time, as quickly as they could.

"Who the hell are you?" Meg and the shorter of the two demanded at the same time.

"Us?" the shorter one continued, "You're the ones who knocked us out of the damn tree!"

"I think the real question is," Gabriel interjected, "what were you two doing in a tree in the first place?"

"Dude, you just _appeared_ out of nowhere! That is so not the question!" the shorter one snapped.

"They're Angels, Dean," the taller one grabbed his arm, continuing with slight warning in his tone. "Which is _perfectly fine_, remember?"

"Hunted them all our lives, yeah let's just trust them," Dean grumbled, turning away for a second.

"We should at least give them the chance to explain themselves." The taller one turned to Meg and Gabriel, "Hi, I'm Sam, and this is my brother Dean," he introduced himself.

"Hi, I'm Meg, I'm a Demon, not an Angel. What are you doing at this building?" she asked bluntly. Why waste time?

Sam and Dean shared a confused look. "A demon with wi-" Before Sam could finish the sentence, her wings dissolved into thin air, and he just paused. _Am I past the point of questioning these things yet or…? _"Okaay... Uh-What are you doing here?"

Meg crossed her arms. If they weren't forthcoming it was obviously for a reason. People always had reasons when they avaided questions. "Wondering what you are," she answered.

Something nagged at the back of her mind. Sam was a stranger, but Dean…Where did she know him from? Considering what was going on with her memories, it wasn't a shock that she wouldn't remember him, but it still bugged her. At least she knew it couldn't be _too_ bad of memory, or she would still have it. But on the other hand, she got the feeling it wasn't a particularly good one either.

Gabriel knew what she meant, but decided to answer it in a different, but almost more important, way. "They're humans," he overly smiled, "super special humans. Hunters, in fact! Bet they'd love to get their hands on me, and not in the fun way."

"Nobody wants to get their hands on you in the fun way," Meg taunted him evenly. "What I'm wondering is if they're guarding this building or not," she looked pointedly at the two, aiming it their way. And if they were…at the moment, she wasn't against letting her inner Demon out if it meant saving time. They were on the clock, red numbers ticking down to detonation. Only Cas wasn't only the bomb, but the victim as well.

"Depends on who we're talking to," snapped Dean. He didn't like this girl. She was rude and arrogant and…Where did he know her from?! It was so frustrating. Dean had seen her face before, he was sure of it. But _where_? "That's it! You're the bitch who didn't give your Angel enough Phydus."

"Dean," Sam warned, "You know now that the Angel's shouldn't really be on Phydus."

The memory came rushing back. The littlest things were triggering them, and this wasn't a 'little' thing. "Oh yeah! And you're the asshole hunter who hurt Cas."

"Like you care. You're almost as bad as they are," Dean scoffed. "Demon."

"I _do_ care," Meg snarled back at him.

"You're a _Demon_. You _can't_ care."

"And you're a moron! You _can't_ think!"

Dean was cut off from replying by Sam who yelled, "Dean! Stop!" Dean turned his eyes glowered at Sam, who continued with normal volume, "We were lied to about Angels, who says we weren't lied to about Demons too? This whole system is whack."

Dean huffed as he turned away from his brother. _I hate logic. _"That still doesn't explain what they're doing here."

"We'll explain after you do," Meg sneered, still eyeing Dean like a predator. "And if you're guards who want to stop me going into that building, then I'll carve your hearts out with a spoon myself."

"Great minds think alike," Gabriel smiled cheerfully.

"No, we're trying to get in there too," explained Sam. "I can't tell you more than that though."

"Why?" Meg challenged, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.

"Why are you?" Dean countered, stepping towards her.

Sam quickly stepped between them while Gabriel watched in amusement. "Because…" Sam bit his lip, trying to think of how little he could tell in order to make them happy, and not get Dean angry with him either. "We learned about the hate serum, and we need to know more." There. That was the truth. Sort of. Well…basically it was the truth, as long as the details were ignored.

"Do you now, Moose?" Meg angled her head slightly to the right, eyes looking over him in scrutiny.

Sam didn't like hearing Crowley's old nickname for him again, and wondered briefly why everyone found it so fitting. Perhaps this girl knew Crowley somehow? She reminded Sam of him slightly, but that was mostly just the attitude, and that wasn't uncommon for Demons. Either way, Sam didn't like the reminder of his old boss. Even if he'd only worked for Crowley for about a year, it wasn't a pleasant experience.

Meg wasn't sure how to feel about the brothers. It wasn't like going in with back up would be a _bad_ idea, but she didn't know if trusting them would be or not. She trusted Cas. She didn't trust her own judgment. Everything in her was telling her not to trust them. "An army of four is better than an army of two."

"Enemy of my enemy," Sam nodded.

"And if you betray us," Gabe chimed in, "I'll cut out your tongues. And hands. And whatever else I feel like chopping off."

Dean didn't like this.

**A/N: Hello all! I'm currently dying of both Kalbriel and Chuckaddon feels (but not because of this fic, for no reason really) so WOOO *sobs quietly in corner* WHY MUST ALL MY SHIPS BE DOOMED? I SWEAR THE SECOND I SHIP IT THAT'S HOW I KNOW IT'S DOOMED EVERY TIME WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I'm not kidding this is a running joke between all my friends I should have seen it coming when my favorite Disney movie was Pocahontas**

**Alternate title to this chapter was going to be 'I Hate Logic' and I couldn't decide so I'm adding it into the A/N.**

**Yeah if you're here you know what this list is so:**

**True Love's Kis5 (XD You actually wrote most of Gabe's lines from that chapter, I just edited them a bit)**

**barjy02 (I'm glad you like Gabe and Meg's relationship, it's such a blast to write! And jrobanduknowit and Imagine 88 send their props for the awesome word too!)**

**jrobanduknowit (Your review popped up as I was literally writing this A/N XD AND I LOVE GABRIEL TOO, HOPE YOU LOVED HIM IN THIS STORY and FINALLY YOU GOT SAM AND DEAN BACK TA-DA! I will definitely look up that song thank you so much! :)**

**Now I'm off to ship painful things, which you know about since you're reading a Megstiel fanfiction (MEG'S NOT DEAD OKAY, WINGS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN, PFT, I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S A DEMON WINGS. OR. IT. DIDN'T. HAPPEN.) I'm a totally sane human being.**

**EDIT: So like as soon as I posted I got two more reviews (THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH):**

**Jrobagain (Making a playlist for this story :)**

**Imagine88 (I would love to take credit for Gabriel in 34, but the majority of his character came from my RP partner True Love's Kis5, so I'll make sure to give her the message :) Also: I LOVE BELA SHE'S AMAZING! I will make sure to look up the songs too! Also, don't worry, I think I underestimated a bit about how close the end is. Maybe.)**


	36. Another Drug

Gabriel licked a lollipop. Acting like he didn't care was so much easier than freaking out like he was doing inside. _Cassie's in trouble. _"Okay. You guys know where the files are? Because walking is... really tiring."

"Fourth basement," Sam answered.

"But it's warded from the second basement down," Meg finished. Turned out that guy she'd bugged had been _very important_ after all.

Gabe sighed dramatically. "Of course it is. I hate wards! It's just really rude. Okay _fine_, I'll get us down to the first basement and from there we'll have to...walk." he said 'walk' like it had a bad taste. He snapped his fingers with his usual Gabriel-flourish and they appeared in a deserted hallway. "Cassie had better appreciate this, I swear," Gabe muttered.

The hallway was almost nothing but white. Slight black flecks sputtled the tiles on the floor, and silver doorknobs broke up the white of the walls and doors. Besides that, the sterile colour made the iridescent light almost blinding. Something bad twinged the air. The cleanly white was like air freshener. Covers the smell in chem lab flowers, but inevitably just makes the specific stench harder to identify.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Dean whispered. "Seriously bad vibes."

"Bad vibes?" Meg raised an eyebrow. "That's some pretty scientific evidence, maybe we should call the-"

"Oh, shut up!" Dean snapped at her.

Meg turned her look to Gabriel. "And you. Why didn't you tell me you could zap us places sooner? It would have saved time finding the teleporter!"

"Sorry sweet cheeks, I can't _zap_ people that far. This was actually a pretty big stretch. So shut up, and let's get a move on, k?" Gabe snarked back.

"I'm sure you say that to all your women," Meg sighed overdramatically.

"Let's just move before someone-" Sam cut off suddenly. No one asked why as all four were frozen. They had all heard it.

Footsteps.

As quietly as they could, they each checked the doorknob closest to them. Luckily two weren't locked. Sam and Dean both dove into the room Sam had opened while Meg and Gabe both slid into Meg's.

Meg listened at the door in silence for the footsteps to pass, but as soon as they did she could hear another set. And another. And another. _Busy freaking hallway._

She turned when she realized Gabe wasn't listening with her to find him looking at something in astonishment. Following his line of sight she saw a woman looking back at him, equally as dumbstruck.

The woman looked like she had a naturally slight figure, but it was taken to unhealthy levels, looking like she had _just_ enough to not starve. Her hair was glossy, yet looked tangled like she'd been out in the wind, but still took care of it. The beautiful tan skin of her arms looked sickly on her face. She was a contradictory mix of unhealthy and cared for.

Of course, the most distinguishing feature about her was her position. Sitting primly in a large cage.

The woman seemed to unfreeze the exact moment Gabriel found his voice. "Kali!" he exclaimed as she flew up to the edge of the cage.

Gabriel practically sprinted to her. He rested one hand over hers where it gripped the cold metal of the bars, and the other slid between them to cup her cheek, running his thumb along the skin just below her lower lip. "It is you," he breathed.

He was in shock. When they'd sent all the Angels to Earth the first time, Kali had volunteered to be one of the older Angels to train the younger ones. He remembered she'd been so proud. Youngest instructor on the mission. Gabe had been ecstatic for her, but that was when he was under the impression he would be able to come visit and vice versa. Even when they'd regained contact between the planets, he still couldn't find out what had happened to her, or if she was even still alive. And he'd searched _everywhere_. When he'd finally given up..._Here she is. She's here. She's alive._

"How are you even here?" Kali asked with a small smile that lit up her eyes.

"Breaking in, effing shit up, the usual," he shrugged, but was still grinning. His voice softened as he continued, "What about you?"

Some of the joy left her eyes, draining to reveal a stony emptiness. "Why wouldn't I be in a cage? It's not like I can fly anymore."

Gabriel's eyes traveled to her back as she turned slightly to give him a better view. Where her wings should have been, there was nothing. Where they should have been attached were two deep, long scars running the length of her back.

Even after all these years, whenever they replaced her shirt, Kali still found a way to cut the slits in them. Besides that one act, she was a perfect little slave even without Phydus. At first it had brought her hope, but that quickly faded. Then it became an act of anger. They were forced to _see_ what they'd done to her. But that faded over time as well. Finally, it was a reminder of what she was, or maybe what she had been. She had been a strong, powerful Angel. Kali wasn't sure if she was anymore, but she was _not_ the creature they believed her to be, even if she wasn't quite sure what that was.

Gabriel's eyes turned dark, stormy, with rage. What had they _done_? "Why?" was all he managed to growl out through gritted teeth.

Kali smiled bitterly. "To make sure I wouldn't get away. They had to keep me healthy or else the children might not turn out strong. They couldn't just keep me inside all the time, but if I had wings I'd just fly away. It was the quickest and easiest prevention method. It's what they do to all the _breeders_," she spat the word like a curse.

"Breeders?" Gabriel was practically murderous at this point.

"Yep, they just dope me and some other one up on Delirius and eleven months later they get another little slave to sell," she explained with acid in her voice.

"I'll kill them all," Gabriel's voice was a whisper, but the kind of whisper that comes after screaming. The kind that holds hatred in it's soft tone; that sends shivers down the spine of anyone who recognizes the power grasped beneath it's breath.

"Or," Kali suggested, "you could get me out of here?"

Gabriel yanked the door open, breaking the lock instantly, ignoring how the warding caused so much pain it felt like his hand might fall off. Anger was driving him over the breaking point. First his brother, and now _this_?

"I'm taking her to Heaven. I'll come back for you later," Gabriel told Meg before taking Kali gently by the wrists and zapping them out of the building. The warding in the cage had made it impossible for her to do so for herself, but now that she was free, Gabriel refused to ever let his Kali be caged ever again.

**A/N: Today my mom and I stopped at Quick Trip, found out we had a flat tire, changed said flat tire (which was kind of fun I should learn more about cars), and then she got me a pop because I earned it. Reason for this story: If you're ever at a fountain drink thing and can mix them, mix Pepsi, Root Beer, and that vanilla flavoring, almost 1/3rd of each but with slightly more Pepsi than the other two, and that is my favorite pop EVER. Or Coke if you like it better than Pepsi. **

**Also, this song isn't going to be on the playlist, but a VERY SPN song is Freewill by Rush. And now because I'm suggesting music, I'll give you all the first taste of the playlist: Fly By Night by Rush. I was in a Rush mood okay. ****I'mreallyexcitedaboutthisplaylistokay**

**Now to the people that have also earned a pop, but alas I can not give you one over the internet! my reviewers:**

**Imagine88 (OH MY CHUCK I LOVE SAYING 'OH MY CHUCK'! I'm totally okay with you screaming in my face with happiness. And I'm totally okay with you talking that much because OH MY CHUCK THANK YOU SO MUCH?! LIKE I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO ALL THE NICE AND HOW AMAZING THAT IS TO READ ABOUT MY OWN WRITING ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS VERY UNSURE ABOUT THE CHAPTER JUST...*ALL THE GLOMP* And an open mouth smiely face is totally a great reward! :D)**

**True Love's Kis5 (So you use reviews to review yourself as a person...at least it's accurate?)**

**Jrobanduknowit/Jrobagain (That's so cool! I'll have to look. It's actually from a book series called Across the Universe by Beth Revis which is ONE OF MY FAVORITE BOOK SERIES OF ALL TIME! Another great book is The Scarlet Letter and it can totally be read like a Megstiel fanfiction, which is how I got through English class actually...heh...Who is Saturday Arvo? And writing slow might not be the problem because my show is going on in 2 weeks which means like zero writing time :/)**

**Now, to end on a high note because that chapter was sad: I've now realized I've underestimated how long this fic will last. With all the things I've been thinking of that need to be in here as I write, it'll probably be closer to 50 chapters rather than 40 (wholy crap I've never written something this long before O.O) so hopefully that makes anyone who's enjoying this fic smile a tiny bit :)**


	37. Synonyms with 'Gabriel'

Kali was nervous about seeing Heaven again. Mostly nervous that she would wake up back in the lab and have dreamed her getting out. The sky, the trees, this camp she'd never seen before that still screamed of home, all already felt surreal.

"Where are we?" she asked Gabriel as they went over the bridges running between the platforms of different tents and shelters.

"The Camp," he answered. "It's where all the war effort's staying. In case they find some way to attack it'll hopefully keep any fire away from the civilians. Samandriel!" Gabriel called at a passing soldier. One that hadn't looked at Kali oddly. All the stairs were making her hyper-aware of her lack of wings. "Tell Abaddon to meet me, that it's urgent," Gabriel ordered.

"Yes, sir," the boy saluted.

"You're in the army?" Kali raised an eyebrow. _Not…what I would expect of you…_

"Yeah," he said breezily, without explanation.

He led her right through the center of the camp to one of the shelters. It was a triangle shape with a front and back wall made of the bamboo, but a tent feeling from the tarps making the side walls, meeting above in a crease.

"I guess I'm just surprised."

"Yeah, well when someone steals your brother, your sister, and your girl, it kind of ticks you off." Gabriel took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Softer, he continued, "And it was the only way I could get to Earth to try to find you. No one else is allowed down there."

"Probably for good reason," Kali nodded as she sat on the floor, leaning against the bed. Gabe sat next to her, reaching down to lace his fingers through hers.

He couldn't stop looking at her. Inspecting every feature to see what have changed. Scared to look away like she would disappear if he dared to. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"You of all people shouldn't be sorry," she insisted, brown eyes meeting his amber ones. "You got me out."

Gabe's eyes flicked down to Kali's shoulder, not able to meet her eyes. "Not soon enough." He let go of her hand, his fingers coming up to trace her back, just above where her wings should have been. "What happened?"

Kali turned her head to look forward, at the sun light flitting through the canvas onto the floor. Heaven's sunlight. It was strange how she'd missed something so simple. Two suns shining down on two different planets, so the same, yet so completely different to her. "You don't want to know."

"What did they do to you?" he asked more roughly, forcefully. He didn't want to be spared the gory details. He wanted to know _exactly_ what they'd done to his Kali, so he could make sure whatever Abaddon did to them was equal.

Kali took a deep breath, then another, buying time to think how to even begin explaining. "Well…you know why I went to Earth, to teach all the young Angel's their abilities and history, and all that. When we got there, the humans separated us. It seemed alright, they were just showing us where we'd be staying or something, it was a long time ago I don't remember their excuse exactly. Then they gave us each a pill, that I _do_ remember their excuse for. They said it was an immunization against diseases from Earth.

"It was…nothing. It was numbness to the core. I couldn't feel anything, it was so strong at first," she shook her head at the memory. How could she explain how void that one little pill made her feel? "I don't know what happened to the little ones, but they put us in cages. Our own warding used against us, not that we cared. They kept us on Phydus for a long time, long enough to-" Kali couldn't finish the sentence. She reached around herself to brush her fingertips along the side of the scar. Gabriel got the message.

"After that they took mild care of us. Enough food not to starve, enough exercise to stay healthy, taken outside for a walk every two weeks like a damn dog." She scoffed bitterly, "They even had special warded collars to make sure we couldn't use our abilities when we were out of our cages."

Gabriel didn't say anything as she spoke. How _dare_ they do this to her? How _dare_ they do this to anyone? _Human_ the word that meant monster. He thought back to the original nickname of the world from when they'd first made contact. _The Planet of Monsters_. It was a fitting title.

"It was a couple years before they actually told us their plan for us," Kali continued. "Not that it mattered if we knew or not. It had been almost an entire year since they'd given me Phydus, I didn't know why, but apparently it had a bad chemical reaction with the drug they _really_ wanted to give us. We only sent about two hundred Angels total, not nearly enough _slaves_ to be very useful wide scale."

"Breeders," Gabriel muttered, somewhere between shock and disgust.

"Breeders," Kali nodded. "They would set two of us in a room and give a silver-ish blue pill instead of a green Phydus one. I don't know why the colour mattered. But…I guess it's just one of those details that stand out in the nightmare."

"Delirous? Is that what you called it?"

"Yes. That's the drug that made us _mate_," she practically spat the word. "It was horrible, choice being taken like that. I didn't even really know what was going on most of the time."

Gabriel scooted closer and slid his arm around her; Kali rested her head on his shoulder, and neither of them said anything for several minutes. He gave a weak attempt at a smile, "I think that's the most I've ever heard you talk at once." Gabe was trying to do what he always did, joke, tease, not take it seriously because that made it real. He didn't want this to be real. He wanted her to have had a good time on Earth, the humans treated her _them all_ kindly. The break in contact was a simple mistake. Not this.

"I don't think I even want to know how many children I have," she scoffed with a half-smirk. Kali understood Gabriel so much more now. It was so much easier to joke, to pretend it didn't hurt.

"Hey," he pushed a bit of hair behind her ear with the hand that wasn't around her, "don't do that. It's not you." It was like a knife to see how broken she was. That she would slip into a habit she'd always chided him for having. _Stop joking, Gabriel, this is serious. Why do you always have to be a wiseass_? and so many other things he'd taken for granted at the time.

Kali closed her eyes, feeling safe for the first time in a hundred years as she rested against him. In a voice void of emotion, much too soft for the words, she said, "I wish they were dead. I wish they were all dead. Those _cockroaches_."

Gabriel didn't say anything, instead just wrapping his other arm around her. It was probably only five minutes, but it felt like they stayed that way for hours. "Hey," he pulled his arms back a bit, making her sit up, "I have an idea."

He turned to face her, Kali mimicking his movements to where they sat across with the bed at their side. Gabe set his arms on her ribcage, under her arms and slightly towards her back, to where his fingers could just brush the side of her scars. Exact replicas of her wings sprouted from her back. They were almost pure white, but with red flecks at each feather's tips. They looked nothing like his, but neither Kali nor Gabriel had ever cared about 'not being soul mates'.

Kali didn't move, but then slowly they started to twitch. It felt like they were really there. Her wings. She could fly. She was free.

"Don't," she commanded him.

Gabriel was ecstatic to see how her eyes lit up when she felt them, but confusion washed out the feeling at her word. "Why? Don't you want them back?"

"Of course I do, but I have to give them back to myself. I was never as good at glamours as you are, but I'll get stronger, and I _will_ do it myself." It wasn't pride that drove her in this, but more the need to reclaim herself. Gabriel had _rescued_ her, but only she could _save_ herself. Pull herself out of the pit they'd chucked her into to rot; the one she'd never stopped clawing at the walls of. He'd thrown down a ladder, but she would climb it alone.

Just as the last few feathers dissolved the door opened and Abaddon stepped inside. "Seriously Gabriel? I just saw you with another woman not two hours ago," Abaddon crossed her arms. "What do you want?"

"That wasn't _my_ woman, that was _Cassie's_ woman!" Gabriel protested.

"Yeah right, whatever. What is it?" Abaddon snapped. She didn't have time for foolishness, which, in her eyes, was pretty much synonyms with 'Gabriel'.

**A/N: So I just found out there's no SPN on tonight -_- **

**NOW TO THE LIST OF AWESOME PEOPLE:**

**True Love's Kis5 (Why would you disagree with that? And Yay! :3)**

**jrobamduknowit (It may be canon but he still frexing dies. I hope you like them a lot because this chapter... Yep, I'm in my school's Alice in Wonderland :) *hand over anti-possession tattoo that I may get someday* I PROMISE NOT TO QUIT UNTIL THIS FIC IS FINISHED! I don't care, I love reading your reviews! And responding to them because my responses become so random as well XD)**

**barjy02 (Writing Kali like this really does hurt my feels. I'm glad you like my group of heros ;)**

**Imagine88 (YAY FOR ACTING! *high five* Nope, there's definitely a plan for Kalbriel...:D I'M SO GLAD SOMEONE GETS MY HUMOR! Sometimes I sit here and write and just think 'no one is going to find this funny...it's staying in anyway.' One of the miracles? Like even just ONE miracle of this writing is like omg thank you?! So ONE OF is like...asdfghjkl; lskjhdbaioshkdjvsa Of course I was unsure of that chapter. And the 35 before it. And this one. And all after it. I'm always unsure of my writing because I want it to be as good as possible, and I don't ever want to disappoint you all! I didn't know the Mishapocalypse was today, but I know what it is! TO TUMBLR! WOO! Also, no I didn't get your PM :( I would have responded if it had)**

**And in the last chapter I was going to bring it up but that A/N WAS SO LONG LIKE I'VE HAD SHORTER CHAPTERS TO FICS NO LIE, but anyway, I actually made up a word and it worked and apparently no one questioned it so yay! My word worked!**

**Well...I think this A/N is a liiiitle shorter?**


	38. The Penny Drops

Meg waited twenty seconds after the footsteps had receded before stepping back out into the hallway. It had taken a half hour for that damn hallway to clear up. A half hour more that Castiel didn't have his soul. Meg was _not_ pleased.

She'd contemplated several times just going out and killing everyone who stood in her way, but without the Angel up her sleeve she wasn't sure how well that would work. And if she'd died then Cas would never get his soul back.

This needed to be a tight mission. In. Out.

Meg took a deep breath and slid out the door the same moment as the Winchesters.

"Where's the Angel?" Dean hissed.

"He left. Let's go without him," Meg answered without any real explanation. There wasn't time for that.

The three crept through the building silently. Down the hall, around the left corner, and to the double doors at the end of that hall. Meg cracked the door open slightly as Sam peered through. He nodded and the three snuck inside.

Meg wasn't expecting what they walked into. The room was huge, more like a stadium. It must have been three floors deep. Thousands of people were crammed into the seats, but Meg, Dean, and Sam all stood in the shadows by the door. _No wonder there were so many damn people going through that hallway, _Meg thought as she looked around for another entrance and couldn't find one.

The crowed was ridiculously diverse. It seemed someone from everywhere in the world was in attendance. Young. Old. Men. Women. Every type of person imaginable were sitting in those seats. Well, not every type. It took her a minute, but she figured out what they all had in common. Every person there had the air of being extremely important.

Even the body guards and the Angel's obviously still on Phydus had an air of being above the rest. Like serving their particular master somehow put them somehow better than other slaves.

"What is this?" Dean muttered both Meg and Sam's thoughts.

"We're about to find out," Sam whispered back as a man took the stage.

Meg's eyes went wide. The man was short, balding, with a slimy look in his eye. The only colour in his black suit was the single red flower on his lapel. Crowley. Her father.

But…but that couldn't be! Crowley was _dead_! She'd actually went out to a club full of actual people to celebrate! This wasn't supposed to be possible! "No," she growled as she shook her head. He was supposed to be _gone_. Meg was supposed to be dancing on his grave, not _still_ thinking of ways to put him in one!

Meg wanted to _attack_. Screw the consequences! She wanted to rip his windpipe out of his throat and make _sure_ he never came back. But she remembered Castiel. The mission. There was no way she'd even make it to the stage alive. _If I die, so does he_.

"Come on," Dean whispered. "This isn't important."

"You're wrong," Meg shook her head. "If you want to know the dirty laundry of this world, that man is always important."

"Who is he?" Sam asked.

"Crowley."

"Ladies and gentlemen," came the oil smooth voice, "I personally welcome you to this…little meeting of mine." His human eyes gleamed like a predator's when they try to draw you in. _I'm not dangerous. You can trust me_. By the time you realized it was a trick, it was too late. "Welcome to the labs where Phydus was first invented. It seemed the only appropriate meeting place for this announcement.

"Now, I'm sure you've all heard of Demons?" he raised an eyebrow casually, like he was actually asking the question. "Most of you probably immediately think of the profits from the fights. I did too," he half smirked as a chuckle waved through the audience. "And it took me almost too long to think of anything else. Potential."

He sauntered across the stage casually with the mic in hand, seemingly changing topics. "The Angels have reestablished contact with Earth, and while most see this as a bad thing, it gives us the perfect opportunity. We now have a seemingly endless supply of a creature we can easily control. As we're all aware, humans lack the ability to shut off functions of our minds by will, which is a good thing. However, because of this very ability, the Angels are susceptible to control. That's what Phydus has always done, it makes them _choose_ to shut off their free will.

"In this room are the most important people on Earth. So I ask you all…why do we need the rest? The masses do nothing but eat resources. Once we send the Phydus missiles we will have unlimited access to Angels who will do whatever we ask for free. But the question remains, what about the rest of humanity?

"This is where the Demon's potential comes in. Having them kill the humans would be too obvious, but the secret lies in their DNA." A man in a white lab coat brought out a syringe full of a sickening dark red liquid. "This. Croatoan. This drug will turn any normal human into a Demon. Easily transmitted if an infected person's blood is touched. Of course, a normal person who isn't use to the hatred will completely lose their mind in about an hour. And the best part? It won't even look like our doing. It will be announced as a disease from the Angels. Which it will be." Crowley turned towards one of the seats to the side of the stage in the front row. "Bring her up."

Out of the darkness of the crowd five large men lead a female Angel up onstage. The Angel was in chains, obviously warded. The Angel was beautiful with fiery red hair. The Angel was Anna.

"I would like to thank my daughter for so _generously_ donating her own Angel for this demonstration," Crowley flashed a slick smile.

Meg dug her fingernails into her palms to stop herself from doing anything. _It's too late. I'm so sorry, Cas_, she thought in his direction.

Anna fought against the bonds. Biting at the guards as they held her in place. They forced her arm out and shoved the sleeve up. Crowley gently, there was no reason to be rough, the effects would be the same, gave her the shot. Meg saw the pure hatred in the girl's eyes and knew the Croatoan hadn't taken effect yet. It saddened her. Meg wished Anna's last moments before forced hatred weren't filled with it.

"Of course," Crowley continued. "It works much faster on Angels."

Anna slouched just as he finished talking, all the fight whipped out of her. From the place in her elbow where the drug had been injected a weird red light ran up through her veins to her eyes. Her breath came shuddering back.

The five guards were dead in less than a minute.

Anna had turned ravenous. She tore viciously into the guards throats with her nails, and then when one managed to hold down her arms, with her teeth.

All the while Crowley walked casually back across the stage as he talked. "Humanity will tear each other apart, all the while we'll have gotten the immunization. A new world, of only elites. That's my proposition."

Anna was hit with a knockout dart and fell to the ground right as the last word fell from Crowley's lips.

There was a pause as the room processed what they'd seen. The penny drop before the roar of applause.

But no applause came.

Crowley was confused, but mostly angry. The presentation had gone perfectly!

"Hey you bag of dicks," came a voice from behind him, from one of the three Angels who had appeared, that the entire audience's eyes were glued too. "Go to Hell."

Gabriel punched Crowley in the face. Hard.

**A/N: I have this love/hate thing with Crowley. I love him for his whole personality and sass, but then I hate him for totally not killing Meg pft what are you talking about pft.**

**Now to the two amazing people I can't thank too much (all three "to/two/too"s woo!):**

**barjy02 (I was nervous about having a chapter without Meg or Cas in it, so I'm glad you liked Kali and Gabe :D)**

**Imagine88 (YOU GOT THE THING! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO GET THE TITLE! I actually just thought of the title randomly, but the more I wrote the more I tried to really incorporate the idea of 'who is who'! I'm so happy now!)**

**Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get a snack and listen to 'Bad Influence' by P!nk.**


	39. Here Comes the Cavalry

The room exploded. Chaos spread through every vein. Body guards and Angel's under orders swooped towards the stage while their masters flooded towards the door. Sam, Dean, and Meg all slipped out quickly and charged down a side hall to avoid getting trampled. They didn't know exactly where they were headed, but it was _away_, and that was the important thing. They ducked into a stairwell as the stampede charged down the same hall.

Meanwhile, Gabriel, Balthazar, and Michael were doing what they could to spare the lives of the Angels on order to attack, but not so much the bodyguards. They still had a choice to run.

Michael was boxed in quickly. He snapped his wings open in a flash, knocking the two Angels to his sides across the room. He leaped over the man in front of him, grabbing his head and twisting it in midair. Michael spun and launched the corpse into the last Angel's stomach.

"Show off," Balt rolled his eyes as he lazily stabbed the pair who came at him. A third guy came charging at him, and Balt simply leaped into the air, then let himself drop onto the guy's back, letting the momentum drive the man into the ground.

While Balthazar and Michael kept the rush away, Gabriel continued wailing on Crowley with his fists, too angry to even bother grabbing a weapon.

After the initial shock, Crowley became slippery. He would duck just a moment before Gabriel would make contact, but Gabriel was fast as well and got several good hits in.

"You know what your problem is, my friend?" Crowley asked smoothly, like a ticked off Angel wasn't trying to bash his face in.

"What would that be?" Gabriel asked just as casually, like he _wasn't_ a ticked off Angel trying to bash this guy's face in.

"You have no sense of style," Crowley shook his head as he ducked under Gabriel's oncoming fist and stood up straight again.

"Oh, what a tragedy."

"It is though." Crowley raised his hand and pointed upwards like a teacher making a point. "Because style is how I'm going to slip through your-OW…fingers." Gabriel had gotten a good backhand to the jaw. Crowley's hand came up as he side stepped Gabriel again and checked his lip for blood.

"Never," Gabriel hissed as he lunged for Crowley's throat. Crowley stepped behind an approaching Angel who got grabbed by the neck instead, then tossed aside by Gabriel.

"Oh yes. It's a valuable lesson that I'm going to teach you, actually."

Gabriel's fist hit the wall where Crowley had been leaning a heartbeat before. "How to be a douche bag in a tuxedo? Because that's all the 'style' I've seen from you so far."

Crowley _tsk_ed three times. "No. Always have an exit strategy." He pressed a button on the wall that blended so well anyone who didn't know it was there would miss it, and fell through a square in the floor which flipped back up and locked as soon as Crowley's head had gone through.

"OH COME ON!" Gabriel groaned loudly. "This isn't Doctor Who! This is a Supernatural fanfiction!"

"Stop breaking the fourth wall and help us!" Michael snapped.

Gabriel dove into the fray; taking out his frustration on losing Crowley on several bodyguards who wondered why someone had apparently given this guy Croatoan.

Right as Meg, Dean, and Sam took a breath as they waited on the staircase for all of the people to run by, an alarm started blaring.

"F-!" _WHAMP_ the alarm bleeped out Dean's swear. Sam might have found it funny if they weren't so royally screwed.

The guards were practically on top of them before they were able to hear the footsteps over the alarm.

They were streaming up through the staircase in heavy boots, looking just as surprised as the trio when they ran into each other. Though it didn't last long, the moment's hesitation before they raised their guns gave Meg just the time she needed. She barreled into one of the guards as Sam shot the one right next to him. Dean charged the line as well.

Meg snatched the disoriented guard's gun from his hand and immediately shot him for a clean kill. She bashed the skull of the closest one with the base of the gun as men surrounded her, just like they had at her apartment when she'd first been snatched up to train.

But this was different. This time they didn't stand a chance. She had more training, and they weren't as organized. Confusion and chaos were the perfect allies. Not to mention Thing Pretty Boy and Thing Mucho Alto.

Meg lost sight of Dean and Sam in the confusion for a second, but didn't bother to look for them. Instead she jumped and kicked the guy in front of her in the face. It was faulty on the part of their supervisors that their uniforms offered so little protection, and she had never been more glad for greedy management as in that moment when it gave her that much of an edge against a swarm of people trying to kill her. Her left elbow drove into a stomach. She didn't want to start shooting until she had visual on her allies unless she absolutely had to. It seemed the guards felt the same way as she kept moving so fast around so many of them that the chances of hitting a comrade were too high to take the risk.

Meg hated this. She hated how she liked it. It felt so natural, like she belonged doing this. How long had it been since Cas had broken the mind control? Not even a day? She should _not_ be fighting like this, not when there was so much of a chance it would draw her back into that state.

But come hell or high water she would _not_ let her Clarence die.

How long could a body live without a soul? When did it realize there was no reason to keep the blood pumping anymore? She didn't know, but she would _not_ be finding out.

Meg's palm came up at the right, or wrong considering your point of view, angle on someone and shot their nasal bones up into their brain. She didn't stay long enough to watch them crumble, but as she rounded at the ready to continue the fight she saw the last man fall at the hands of Sam.

"That was fun," Meg breathed bitterly when no one else came.

"Fun?" Sam looked at her in astonishment.

"Hi, I'm Meg, I'm _still_ a Demon."

"Stop flirting," Dean rolled his eyes. "Let's get goin' before they wonder why none of their guys radio back."

"With all those bad guys, I'd say down the staircase is the right direction," Meg looked first at Sam, then Dean for confirmation.

"Probably," Sam nodded.

Gun still in hand, Meg started sprinting downwards, Winchesters at her heals.

**A/N: My Sam is sitting beside me with headphones on and I can hear her music from her earbuds she's going to go deff.**

**Anyway, to the THANK YOU'S SERIOUSLY GUYS THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!:**

**True Love's Kis5 (Gabriel is amazing XD)**

**Jrobanduknowit (I'm so glad you loved them both :3)**

**StryderMel (That was one of my favorite parts! XD So I have to ask, are you a fan of The Host?)**

**barjy02 (Crowley is a very complex character in the show, and I love Mark Shepard, but I'm not a huge fan of the Dean/Crowley friendship either, though I find it interesting and funny at times :)**

**Guest (Honestly I was writing and Crowley being alive surprised me as well if that makes sense :)**

**Oh my Chuckaddon I am so tired. Whoever says being in theater is easy is a dirty rotten liar. (And Mr. Fizzles knows it) Yeah, so that's why this chapter has zero editing. Yeah right, I'm just kidding. None of these chapters have any editing because that would be a good idea.**


	40. Let's Bounce, Bitch

Meg, Dean, and Sam burst through the only door at the bottom of the stairs. The hallway had the same clean look, but with that feeling you get in a cave. That you're trapped somewhere dank, underground.

"Oh this looks promising," Dean muttered.

"Not even a single guard," Sam agreed. It seemed off to him. Since when were there no guards?

"Hey genius, we just killed them all," Meg rolled her eyes as she strolled casually down the hall. A side hall branched off with only one large grey vault-type door at the end. "And _that_ looks promising."

Sam and Dean approached, "Yep," they both nodded.

"You want to handle this one Sammy?" Dean raised an eyebrow at him.

Sam placed a decoder device on the keypad and Meg instantly wanted to punch him. There were sounds of a gate whooshing open and barking.

Meg ducked down and started yanking at her shoe laces. When they didn't give fast enough she gave up and just ripped the shoes off. "What are you-?" Dean started to ask, but Meg spirited away, back down the short hallway. She turned back towards the way they came and slid the shoes across the floor as far as she could to make the sent fresher.

Meg leaped towards an unmarked door opposite to the short hallway, hoping it wasn't locked. She thanked her lucky stars it wasn't, and when she went through found that it was a janitor's closet.

"What the hell?!" yelled Dean.

"COME ON!" she commanded. "OR I'LL SHUT THE DOOR AND LEAVE YOU TO THE DOGS! AND MAKE SURE YOU JUMP!"

They didn't ask again, quickly rushing into the janitors closet as well, imitating her jump. "This is the start of every porno I've ever seen," Dean muttered.

Meg slammed the door shut. "You haven't seen very good porn then," she rolled her eyes.

"You can give me some pointers later," he snapped.

"Guys. Seriously?" Sam looked at them both.

That's when they heard the boots. Doors slamming open. Three sets of eyes grew to the size of moons in panic.

"Listen," Meg hissed at both of them, "I'll take care of the guards. You two get in that room with this," she handed them a small explosive. "Wait here until I give you the signal."

Meg pretended the reason she was doing this was to protect them. She was clinging to the idea that she wasn't craving another fight.

However, when she stepped out and began massacring everyone who tried to stop her, she knew that wasn't true. It was a good thing she could still chanell that hatred for her fighting skills, but it really wasn't good at all. She didn't _want_ to stop. She wanted to kill everyone she could get her hands on. "GO!" she screamed at the boys. After a half second's hesitation, she tossed Dean the ghoster. Meg couldn't trust herself right now, she could feel it.

"Get whatever you need, but you make fucking sure you get his soul!"

The device was a small silver tube with a USB on one end, and four lights running up the side from red to green. However, none of them were lit up at the moment. Gosters had been standard equipment for Demons. If they could somehow steal an Angel soul for experimentation, then they were supposed to. Meg had found that order a waste of time, not to mention boring, and never bothered.

Everything in her was screaming not to give them the device. If they betrayed her then Cas would _die_. But more than anything, Meg knew she couldn't trust herself right now. Not when she was like this.

Sam and Dean were thrown off their feet when the explosive went off, but stood up as fast as they could despite the ringing in their ears.

The room was all silver and grey with screens covering practically every wall. "I'll get the soul, you get the files," Sam instructed quickly. The brothers' tossed each other the flash drives since Sam had the one they'd brought for the files, and Dean had Meg's ghoster.

It took Sam exactly sixty seconds to locate the soul on the massive hard drive. It pulled up the picture of what Castiel was seeing. Sam assumed the man was Castiel anyway. He was in a dark place, and it was obvious he wasn't in control of his body.

"No! NO! PLEASE DON'T! I'M SORRY MEG! I'M SORRY!" he was screaming has his hand dug into the woman on the table, yanking her stomach out of her body.

Sam placed his finger on the touch screen and moved the image of Castiel into the ghoster's folder.

"Got it!" Sam said as he ripped the ghoster out of the USB port.

"Me too," Dean nodded, tossing Sam the other flash drive.

A man was suddenly standing in front of them, an Angel. "Good. I'm Michael, I'm here to get you out of here if you'll except my help."

Sam and Dean shared a look, and then both nodded in agreement. An escape, any escape, was a good thing at the moment. This really hadn't been thought out well, and it was the last moment miracle they really needed.

Meg was shaking when the last one hit the floor. She didn't _want_ it to be over. She didn't want it to ever stop. She wanted to keep fighting. Her inner Demon was _craving_ for the fight. She slunk down onto the floor. Meg had to _stop_ this. This all consuming feeling inside her to _hate_.

"Could you have an emotional crisis later?" Balthazar was suddenly sitting next to her. "We kind of have to get to Heaven. Like now."

Meg's head snapped up. _Keep moving. Just keep going. _Meg refused to let this control her. Not now, not ever. _Just keep moving. _She stood quickly. "Let's bounce, bitch."

The six met at the nearest teleporter.

"Did you get it? Hand it to me!" Meg demanded the second the Winchester boys appeared.

"Calm your tits. Yeah, we got it," Dean told her. Sam passed her the ghoster, more understanding than Dean since he'd seen the nightmare scene Castiel's soul was in. If his greatest nightmare was hurting Meg, their relationship seemed rather obvious.

Meg took a deep breath once it was in her hands. "Thank you," she nodded.

"Welp, I don't know about you all, but I want off this chunk of rock," Gabe spoke up. "Coming?" he asked Sam and Dean.

"Nah," Sam shook his head, "we have work to do here."

"Thanks for the lift," Dean agreed.

**A/N: Going to start this with bad news: This will probably be the only update for a week. No promises because sometimes I get writing time I don't expect, but this is tech week for my school's play which for those not in theater means the show is this week and we're doing dress rehearsals and everything else needed to get it ready. On the flip side of that, the good news is that after this week I'm going to have much more time to write which means back to more regular updates!**

**Now thank yous to the people who make me want to update:**

**True Love's Kis5 (Yes, yes they are.)**

**StryderMel (I'm glad you found my humor actually humorous and not just 'seriously? -_-' I agree! The movie focused slightly too much on the romance side, but the book was fantastic!)**

**barjy02 (I'm happy you liked it so much! Having so many characters going for one cause is something I really enjoy writing :D)**

**So see you all when I see you! **


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